A Lewd New World
by EvilFuzzy9
Summary: Infinite Tsukuyomi is executed. All of the world is now blanketed in an unbreakable illusion of a better world... unfortunately, Tobi had not anticipated that THIS would be considered a better reality. Because no matter how you change the world, Naruto Uzumaki will still wind up the main character. Even if he is literally the last man alive. [NaruHarem, genderswap, SMUT]
1. Tsuki no Mayhem

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_bent genders abound, albeit in one direction only_)

* * *

Obito Uchiha, as he was once known, scowled darkly. After so much blood, sweat, and tears, Project Tsuki no Me was finally complete. It had been an uncomfortably close call, and a near total defeat for him, but ultimately he had pulled through and successfully caught the world in Infinite Tsukuyomi.

Honestly, he should have been celebrating. He could finally leave behind the dead heroes and broken promises of the reality he had denounced as illusory. He could have Minato-sensei back, as well as Rin, and even Kakashi as he had once been.

There was only one _tiny_ snag.

Madara had misunderstood how Infinite Tsukuyomi worked (or else the Uchiha patriarch had willfully misinformed his descendant, but Tobi was not ready to believe that). True, it put every living person on earth under the most powerful genjutsu ever conceived, ensnaring them in a perfect fantasy world, creating what was essentially an illusory utopia for all living things, but there was a problem. A problem resulting from an apparently fatal misunderstanding of the nature of the world created by Infinite Tsukuyomi.

The nature of the illusory world was determined not strictly by the desires of the caster, or the separate desires of each individual placed under the genjutsu. No, rather it would seem that it was determined by the deepest desires of the person with the strongest will.

And judging by the nature of the world that "he" now beheld, Obito was fairly certain that said person was, of course, who else but Naruto Uzumaki.

Scowling more deeply, "he" let the bloody crimson sharingan in "his" right eye fade to a plain onyx orb. The rinnegan in "his" left eye did not change. Swearing under "his" breath, silently lamenting the absence of what should have been dangling between "his" legs and trying to keep the new, sizable mounds on her chest from ripping out the seams of her shirt, Obito idly wondered if _Obiko_ would be too obvious of an alias as she began walking in the general direction of the Leaf Village.

* * *

Mina Namikaze woke up that morning to the sensation of her lover, the vivacious and modestly voluptuous Kushina Uzumaki, playfully nibbling on her earlobe. She was lying in Kushina's bed, naked save for the thin white sheets which just barely preserved her modesty. Their legs were tangled together, and the room smelt strongly of their mingled sex.

It had been a hell of a wild night: the most fun either of them had had in months. Though only the two of them were still there, she remembered quite vividly that the two Uchiha heads, Mikoto and Fugako ("The Princess and the Tomboy," as the pair had often been called in their youth) had been with them, and their two daughters, Itami and Sasuki, had also joined in.

For a moment, the thought crossed Mina's mind of how two females could have biological children without _in vitro_ fertilization, which she knew neither one had ever had, but she felt no need to dwell on it. Instead, she recalled how passionate Fugako had been in rubbing their tits together (though Mina usually bound her breasts tightly when on duty, so as to keep them from getting in her way, she was_very_ generously endowed, on about the same level as Lady Tsunade, and Fugako was a similar size, though the headstrong Uchiha rather flaunted what she had). She also recalled watching as Mikoto and Kushina sixty-nined one another while Itami and Sasuki rimmed them.

Smiling softly at the memories of the previous night, and moaning as she felt Kushina bite down on her ear just hard enough to leave a mark, Mina sat up in the bed, allowing the sheets to slide off of her body. Her large breasts jiggled excitingly from the movement, catching Kushina's lustful attention.

"You look extra perky this morning," the redhead remarked teasingly, giving Mina's left tit a sharp, friendly slap. The sizable orb of flesh jiggled even more, and Mina yelped lewdly before returning the favor with a pinch or two on Kushina's bum, causing her to squeal and giggle.

"And you're hopeless as ever," Mina said, giving her lover a brief but passionate kiss. "But I suppose that's what I love about you."

"Shock!" Kushina declared theatrically. "And all this time I thought you loved me for my _body!_" she cried, faking a sob.

"Oh, I love that too," Mina replied, further fondling the redhead's firm, shapely ass.

Kushina laughed. "Good!" she said. "Because this body wants every bit of love it can get!" And she winked exaggeratedly, causing the blonde to giggle and give her a spank.

"Oh, I should have listened when sensei warned me about you," said Mina jokingly. "She told me that you Uzumaki are all whores and vixens who want nothing more than ravish any half-way attractive girl they see, but I didn't believe her!"

"I take exception to that," Kushina retorted. "I'll have you know that we Uzumaki also enjoy _being_ ravished."

They both laughed, playfully fondling one another, and soon they were once more making hot, sweaty love. Mina and Kushina fucked each other long and loud, not caring who heard their moans and dirty talk. For several minutes they carried on uninterrupted, but as they were in the middle of scissoring one another they suddenly heard a knock on their bedroom door.

Mina and Kushina paid the knocking no mind initially, but when the door swung open to let their handsome blue-eyed hunk of a son walk in they immediately became _much_ more focused on their visitor. The two women blushed under their son's gaze, getting immensely turned on by the fact that he had walked in on them having sex, and as a result their fucking gained even more vigor.

Naruto blushed at the sight of his parents having sex, and he felt a certain embarrassing stiffness between his legs from the gorgeous view he was getting of their criminally hot bodies. But his arousal was mastered by annoyance, and he scowled.

"Mom!" he said. "Ma! Do you two really have to be so loud so early in the morning?!"

Kushina smirked, seeing the sizable tent in the young man's boxers. She gave her son a come-hither look, angling her torso to give him the best possible view of her tits as they bounced and jiggled from the rocking of her body as she scissored Mina.

"You're welcome to join us," she purred huskily, winking at him. "The more the merrier!" And then she came from fucking her lover, and she moaned loudly, intentionally making the lewdest noises she could manage.

Naruto's face grew flush, and he tried hard not to stare at either of his mothers' racks or cunts even as his member further stiffened. He did not humor them with a response, though it would certainly seem he was tempted.

Mina smiled, seeing the bulge in Naruto's boxers growing even larger. She was soaking wet at the thought of getting her hands on the boy's cock, and just thinking about having his meat inside of her made her violently orgasm. She wailed, throwing her head back and rubbing her huge tits as her juices splashed all over her lover's thighs.

Looking into her son's eyes, bathing in the warm afterglow of orgasm, Mina happily spread the lips of her and Kushina's pussies, wiggling their juicy hips.

"Come in," she said lustily, the meaning of her words obvious. "It's nice and cozy inside."

Naruto, blushing with his gaze affixed to his mothers' pussies and his erection straining against the confines of his boxers, nonetheless still managed to gather enough wit to say: "Looks like a tight fit."

Kushina giggled. "Oh, but I'm sure you'll be able to slip right in without any problems."

All three of them grinned, enjoying themselves. This kind of battle of innuendos was quite common in the Uzumaki household, and they were all rather good at it. But still, Kushina and Mina would not be satisfied with just innuendo. They wanted him to fuck them. They longed to have sex with their son.

And perhaps this got across in their words, because soon they found that Naruto was paying less attention to their questionable game and more to the naked bodies of his mothers. His face was red and he was sweating, and all of this delighted Mina and Kushina.

Soon enough, Naruto's erection grew too large to be contained, ripping his boxers at the seams. The now useless garment fell to the floor, and Naruto's cock stood at attention, easily one of the biggest and hardest things his moms had ever seen.

Mina and Kushina smiled approvingly at the sight of their son's massive, throbbing erection. It twitched and pulsed menacingly, so large and phallic that it seemed the very essence of manhood. They eyed it hungrily, licking their lips and shamelessly presenting themselves: Mina squeezing her tits together and spreading the lips of her pussy, Kushina bending over and shaking her tight, round ass while spreading her cheeks.

And at the sight of how his mothers were acting, something small inside of Naruto snapped. His restraint was gone. It no longer mattered that they were his parents: he wanted to fuck Mina and Kushina - he wanted to fuck them raw and use their bodies and make them _his_.

"Naruto, son..." moaned Mina, bucking her hips up in the air, looking pleading into his eyes. "Please, fuck me."

Naruto looked from the blonde to the redhead, then back again. He had a small smirk on his face, his eyes glinting with a hint of something.

"You really want this, don't you," he said. It wasn't a question.

"We do!" Kushina and Mina replied eagerly, feeling no shame in abasing themselves before their son. "We've wanted this for so long!"

Naruto's smirk widened, and he approached the pair.

"To think my parents would be such sluts..." he remarked with amusement. "Wanting to fuck their own son. How sick," he said, giving Kushina a smack on the ass.

"Ohhhhh!" the redhead moaned, her eyes rolling back in her head as she came. It was incredible. Just a single spank from her son was enough to push her to orgasm. "Yes! Fuck me!" she exclaimed.

Naruto gave Kushina's ass a soft squeeze, delighted at the reaction he had garnered from her. Then he turned his attention to his other mother, the Yellow Flash Mina Namikaze. Leaning over, he grabbed one of her massive breasts and squeezed. Mina came immediately from this, and the noises she made while doing so were extremely lewd.

Naruto smiled, and eyed his mothers once more. His dick twitching and his balls aching, he decided. He would fuck them. They wanted it, and he wanted it. The only question was, who would he do first?

Looking at his redheaded mother's round, shapely bum, seeing her tight asshole and soaking cunt, Naruto made up his mind. Kushina would be first. He would take her ass, make it his.

Grabbing her by the hips, squeezing and fondling, he rubbed the tip of his dick between her buttocks and pressed it against her anus. She groaned at the feeling, lustfully grinding her ass against his cock. Silently, she begged him to go inside her. Her body urged him to press onward, but Naruto took his time. He teased her asshole with the tip of his penis, causing her to moan and whimper.

Mina smiled as she watched this, gleefully diddling herself as she watched her lover writhe in ecstasy beneath their son. She pinched her stiff, puffy nipples, and rubbed her massive breasts, visibly lactating. She thrust her fingers in and out of her pussy, panting as she teased her clitoris and plumbed her depths. She came a time or two before Naruto and Kushina even really got started: but when they did, her masturbation grew all the fiercer.

Kushina let out a cry when her son finally plunged himself into her, shoving his massive rod into her anus. The pain was immense, at first, as he stretched out her insides and tore up her asshole, but soon enough it melted in pleasure. She moaned lewdly as he fucked her, delighting in the sounds he was making as he pumped in and out of her ass. He was enjoying himself so much that it was almost adorable to her.

Naruto groaned and panted as he passionately rocked his hips against his mother's behind. Her ass was tighter than he could have ever imagined, and it was all he could do to keep from coming the second he went inside her. He was in heaven, fucking his mom's ass, and he did not care one bit if it was wrong or right. It simply felt to good _not_ to be done.

So he did it, long and hard.

Kushina gasped when she felt her son suddenly shoot a load of hot semen into her ass. She moaned perversely, delighting in the sensation. His seed splurted out of her anus as he continued to fuck her, still rock hard even after coming.

Naruto banged Kushina for close to twenty more minutes, coming in her ass countless times, and causing her to come at least just as much. But eventually she collapsed into the bed from exhaustion, completely spent and awash in a profound sense of euphoria.

Pulling out of his mother, Naruto then turned his attention to his other mother, Mina, who eagerly spread her legs in anticipation of what was to come. He also saw that her nipples were liberally dribbling with rich, creamy milk.

When Naruto saw the buxom blonde MILF before him spread her legs, and then the lips of her pussy, he smirked. It was intoxicating how empowered he felt, seeing a kunoichi so famed throughout the Elemental Nations abasing herself before him. That she was his own mother only sweetened the deal, and his member was rock hard at the sight of her shame.

"You still want it, huh?" he observed, briefly glancing back at Kushina. The vivacious redhead had been reduced to a barely coherent puddle of liquefied bliss, weakly moaning and purring in the afterglow of numerous orgasms.

He then looked back to Mina, his other mother, and she smiled when his eyes met hers.

"More than ever," she said huskily, bucking her hips a little as he came nearer. She licked her lips hungrily as she eyed his imposing cock, no doubt imagining how it would feel to have it inside her.

"You two are hopeless," Naruto said with a chuckle, before getting on top of the blonde. He teasing tweaked one of her nipples, rubbing his manhood teasingly against her womanly entrance.

"We are, yes," said Mina, whimpering as her son toyed with her. Her pulse quickened when he pinched her nipple, and she moaned lowly. "Yes! Oh god, yes we are!" she wailed as he slowly, tortuously probed her entrance. He was teasing her, willfully prolonging the torment of desire.

It was not long before she broke.

"Please!" she begged Naruto pitifully, mewling and squealing as he persisted in torturing her through the forestallment of penetration. "Don't drag it out, Naruto! I...!"

The blond smirked, hearing his mother's voice crack as she writhed beneath him.

"If you say so," he replied playfully, before kissing her deeply and thrusting himself into her womanhood. Mina moaned loudly, melting in ecstasy as he finally began to truly fuck her. The noise was muffled by his lips, though.

Naruto pounded his blonde mother, setting her curves to jiggling and shaking as he slapped his pelvis repeatedly against hers. He played with Mina's tits as he fucked her, squeezing and rubbing them with incredible skill. She was like putty in his hands, his masterful ministrations rendering her senseless from euphoria.

He hammered her like a bent nail, banging his mom long and hard. She loved how her son was making her feel, and she came a number of times. He came also, filling her womb with his seed. In this Mina took much delight. The thought of potentially becoming pregnant with her own grandchildren aroused her immeasurably, and she egged her son on to the point were she felt like her belly should have been bulging from all the seed he pumped into her.

Eventually, Mina could take no more, and she passed out. Kushina was still out of it, too.

Naruto, pulling out of his mom with no small amount of reluctance, belatedly realized just what he had done.

He blinked. Then he shrugged. They had asked for it, after all. No use crying over spoiled milk, and all that.

Pulling his boxers back on, he chanced to look at the clock on the bedside table. His eyes widened when he saw it and realized that he was late.

Late for a _mission_.

Sakura-chan was going to _kill_ him.

* * *

A/N: Happy Halloween! Here's a tricksy, dirty treat straight from me to you! All the shameless smut of Mating Season, except with Naruto characters, and none of that pesky _plot _nonsense! :D

Because I am sick on Halloween. (God, my boss is such a nag, complaining that I'm calling in sick after calling in two weeks ago... Not like I exactly WANTED to be sick for Halloween, but damned if that isn't what happened. She is such a fucking harpy)

**Updated:** 10-31-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	2. A (New Kind of) Normal Mission

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_actually not half as smutty as the previous chapter_)

* * *

Naruto swore when he realized that he was late for a mission assignment, even by Kagome-sensei's standards. Odds were even that either Sakura or Sasuki would kill him if he didn't get there _now_.

Running back out into the hall, half-dressed, Naruto dashed to his room, running in to grab his forehead-protector and shuriken holster. He threw on his usual orange and black coat, grabbing a small, multi-purpose storage scroll and a half dozen kunai, as well as well as a knapsack packed with the sorts of various odds and ends that could always prove useful on a long term mission.

Last of all, as he used all the speed and grace inherited from his parents and cultivated by his training to flip out the nearest window and dash down the side of the house. The wind whipped in his face and tore at his clothes as he shot like an arrow from the bow, leaping from the side of the house once he reached the halfway point.

Closing his eyes for second, Naruto focused on his navel and willed forth a bit of kyuubi chakra: just enough to give his _shunshin_ an extra boost. The instant he landed in the street, he flexed his legs and _pushed_, kicking back off the ground in an extra-potent body flicker. He disappeared in a blur of orange and yellow.

* * *

A fraction of a second later, a blond, whiskered comet impacted the side of the Hokage Tower, just outside the eponymous figure's office. A bit of plaster fell from the ceiling within as the walls of the structure shook from the force of the collision, and the eyebrows of a certain buxom, blonde medic-nin began to twitch.

"NARUTO!" she shouted in a commanding tone, her voice causing the windows to rattle. "Get in here!"

Naruto sheepishly poked his head in the window, smiling nervously at the glowering faces of the hokage and his teammates.

"Uhh... Yo?" he said nervously, hopping in through the window.

"You're late!" Sakura snapped at him angrily. "Even Kagome-sensei arrived before you!" She jabbed a thumb rudely in the direction of a curvy, masked, silver-haired kunoichi dressed in the tragically conservative standard shinobi uniform of the Leaf, with a forehead protector slanted over one eye.

"Yo, Naruto," said the woman casually, only briefly raising an eye from the garish piece of backroom literature written by the infamous Toad Sage Miraiya. She was smiling at him, as near as he could tell, and her visible eye was pointed down below his belt.

He smirked at her knowingly, and Kagome's smile widened. Sakura sighed, exasperated, and shook her head, cheeks slightly pink as she watched Naruto and their sensei mentally undress one another.

"What was the mission you wanted us for, Tsunade?" said Sasuki, cutting through with awkward tension with her usual degree of tact and delicacy. Nonetheless, this was sufficient to get everyone focusing back on the matter at hand, and the Hokage smiled softly.

"Yes," she said, "Your mission..." Tsunade paused to shuffle through the papers on her desk before continuing. "The other day, a border patrol captured three Cloud kunoichi trespassing in Leaf territory," said Tsunade with an air of authority and discipline. "We do not know what they were doing here, but we have reason to believe they may have been sent to scout the village's defenses. None of our attempts to extract information from them has been successful, so it is up to you, Team Seven, to make use of your... _unique_ interrogation methods."

Sakura flushed, though she did not look entirely unpleased. The silver-haired Kagome-sensei giggled pervertedly, already planning to try out some of the methods portrayed in Lady Miraiya's latest novel. Sasuki's expression was mostly impassive, save for a slight quirking of her lips.

But Naruto had a shameless, shit-eating grin on his face, and mischief was sparkling in his eyes.

"Anybody else you need questioned while we're at it?" he asked.

Tsunade frowned thoughtfully.

"Well... there is also that suspected spy... Kabuko Yakushi... She's a tough nut, though. We've had her locked up for three years, but nobody has been able to get her to crack. Maybe you'll succeed where they've failed."

"You can count on us!" Naruto replied cockily, and the rest of Team Seven reflected his confidence.

* * *

At the headquarters of the T&I division of the Konoha ANBU, situated in a secure location somewhere underground, three Kumo kunoichi had been forcibly stripped of their clothes and strapped to mechanical tables, which could be raised or lowered to suspend prisoners at any number of different angles. Right now, though, the tables were simply tilted 80 or so degrees upward, the captives secured upright in a cruciform position.

"We have nothing to tell you. The Hidden Cloud has nothing to hide from the Hidden Leaf. This was a purely diplomatic mission," said the buxom, pale, turquoise-eyed blonde who appeared to be the leader of the three-woman team. She spoke calmly and coolly, betraying no signs of fear or unease.

Ibiko, the tall, broad-shouldered, heavily scarred kunoichi in charge of the particularly messy interrogations, gave Samui (as she had identified herself) a frighteningly toothy grin.

"Is that so?" she said, eyeing the naked, curvaceous body of the blonde ninja with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Funny. I don't believe you. In fact, I think you're lying," she said in an almost conversational tone, casually removing a decidedly scary-looking torture implement from the pocket of her trench coat. "And I don't like being lied to."

A single bead of sweat ran down Samui's brow, but she betrayed no other sign of fraying nerves.

"Well, that's really more _your_ problem," she said, nonchalantly impudent.

To either side of Samui, her teammates were suspended in a similar state. The slender, redheaded Karui had a look in her sharp, golden eyes like she was silently _daring_ their captor's to try something. The modestly endowed, white-haired Omoi looked worried, though, and she was sweating quite visibly.

Ibiko chuckled grimly, and Samui shuddered a little at the wide, mirthless rictus of a grin that found its way onto the interrogator's face.

"You girls are lucky," she said ominously. "Lady Hokage has decided to appoint someone else to interrogate you. Something about how my methods would be too_brutal_ to use on shinobi from an allegedly allied village."

At precisely that moment, the door opened. In stepped four individuals, all recognizable, and the timing of their appearance was so perfect that the Cloud kunoichi could not help but idly wonder if it had been practiced beforehand.

The handsome, powerful, blond, _male_ jinchuuriki, Naruto Uzumaki stepped into the holding cell with an undisguised smile. He was followed by the pink-haired slug summoner and medic-nin, Sakura Haruno, whose lack of mammary endowments were said to be more than made up for by a tight ass and sheer enthusiasm in the sack.

After her then came Sasuki Uchiha, the quiet, aloof, but undeniably sensual genius and rumored lover of Naruto Uzumaki. She had a fairly good bosom for her age, and a lithe, athletic figure that made her the darling of countless enamored fangirls. Last was Kagome Hatake, whose conservative uniform somehow seemed only to emphasize how stacked she was, with tits to rival Samui's and legs that just didn't quit. Her perversion and sexual prowess were highly renowned, and many believed that Kagome and Naruto had a sensei-student relationship of a very intimate nature.

Karui grew flushed in the cheeks at the presence of these four, and she reflexively attempted in vain to cover up her body. Omoi looked to be in a daze, perhaps already lost in wild imaginings of what these guys were going to do to them.

Samui, for her part, began to wonder how long she would be able to hold out under the anything but tender care of these people.

Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Naruto quite casually let his trousers drop. His massive, godly cock immediately sprang up to attention, catching the undivided attention of everyone in the room.

Ibiko licked her lips, seeing Naruto's fabled dick, the greatest weapon in all the world. It was said that no one lived who could resist its allure, and the head interrogator of the ANBU T&I was no exception. Her breasts, large like and crisscrossed with scars like the rest of her body, heaved beneath her trench coat, and every inch of her was instinctively longing for the touch of the blond's manhood.

Samui repressed a shiver at the sight of Naruto's dick. She could feel her pussy aching already, even though she could not imagine ever being able to fit such a monstrously huge thing inside of her. Her mouth was watering as she beheld it's marvelous length and girth, and she wondered in a horny delirium what it must taste like.

Karui moaned in spite of herself, her hips unconsciously bucking Naruto's direction. It was almost as though her pussy was being magnetically attracted to his cock, and no small part of her wanted very much to just let it in. She wondered, quickly falling under the spell of preternatural lust, if Naruto-sama would deign to touch her, with her flat chest and rambunctious temperament.

And yes, she was already calling him Naruto-sama inside her head. That was just the power of the greatest – and _only_ – dick in the whole wide world.

Omoi was even worse off than her teammates. The first glimpse she got of Naruto's cock was enough to make her come, and her modest C-cup breasts felt decidedly like they were lactating just from the presence of the Uzumaki's baby-maker. Her head was rolling wildly on her shoulders, and she was moaning shamelessly. Already she was begging Naruto to fuck her, and the smirk she got from the blonde was enough to make her come a second time.

"It's always entertaining to watch people react to seeing Naruto's penis for the first time," drawled Kagome-sensei, smiling with her eyes at the way the three Kumo kunoichi were squirming and squealing. "And look, we haven't even started the show."

Sakura blushed, glancing sidelong at their sensei as the silver-haired woman casually grabbed Naruto's dick with one hand. Its girth was so great that her fingers couldn't wrap all the way around, but this did not daunt her from lazily and shamelessly beginning to stroke her hand up and down the blond's shaft.

The Kumo kunoichi (and the Konoha ones, too) watched in rapt attention as Kagome teased Naruto up to the brink with her hand, finally pinching the head between her fingers to make him come. Naruto grunted pleasurably at the sensation, and Samui, Karui, and Omoi just about lost it as he shot a bit of his seed onto each of their flat, naked bellies.

Despite the obvious arousal the three Kumo kunoichi were experiencing, they still refused to say anything. They were still holding on, if only by a thread. The allure of Naruto's was certainly potent, but not so much so that the sight of it alone could make these kunoichi abandon their training.

"I'm surprised they haven't given in, yet," Sakura remarked, watching the three girls squirm and come from the feeling of her teammate ejaculating on them. She pointed at Omoi. "I mean, that one is literally begging Naruto to fuck her, yet she still won't give us any information."

Ibiko nodded, her bandanna removed to reveal closely cropped dark hair. Her trench coat was also open, exposing a fair deal of her intriguingly scarred cleavage. "Kumo makes 'em tough," she said. "It'll take more than just a hand job to break them."

Kagome-sensei lazily quirked an eyebrow at Ibiko. "How much more?"

Ibiko smirked, and she shrugged her trench coat off her shoulders. Her dark kunoichi blouse underneath was low cut, to emphasize her goodly tanned D-cups, and her trousers rode suspiciously low on her wide, adult hips. She stretched her arms over her head, casually leaning forward and thrusting her big, firm ass backwards – giving Naruto a good and thorough view of her X-marked nether cleavage as her pants slid even lower.

Ibiko Morino was not, perhaps, the prettiest kunoichi in the Leaf (particularly not with the extensive scarring that covered her body) and her large, amazonian body made her look usually more intimidating than enticing, but this was not to say that she was without her feminine wiles. She was _stacked_ any way you looked at it, and rumors abounded regarding her allegedly abnormal bedroom preferences.

"Naruto," she said huskily, a wicked grin on her lips as she eyed the three Cloud kunoichi, "Do you mind? I think we need to give them..." She hooked her fingers under the rim of her pants and slid them down. She wasn't wearing panties. "...a more _thorough_ demonstration."

She wiggled her hips, making her ass jiggle, as she backed herself up onto Naruto's erection. The blond gripped her hips tightly, his dick being quickly enveloped by Ibiko's anus. The interrogator was not one to mess around, and she preferred to get straight to the point.

To wit:

Ibiko let out a theatrically lewd moan as Naruto began to thrust inside of her. She rocked her hips against his pelvis, making a point of demeaning herself as much as possible while he fucked her. She rolled her eyes into the back of her head, let her tongue loll out of her mouth, and threw her head to and fro letting out wild, animalistic cries of passion.

Contact of any sort with Naruto was indeed an incredible experience, and having actual sex with him was nothing short of mind blowing, but still Ibiko took the incredible things he was making her feel and exaggerating them for the benefit of their captive audience. The Kumo kunoichi needed to be shown the futility of resistance, and what better way to do so than by showing them how much she, the intimidating and stoic Ibiko, debased herself upon Naruto's manhood?

And, in all fairness, a good part of the show she put on _was_ quite genuine. Especially the praises she sang of his penis.

The blond was an _incredible_ lover.

* * *

A/N: Holy FUCK this got a ridiculous amount of faves and follows from just the first chapter. I had three pages in my email this morning pretty just from alerts of people faving and following this fic and/or me. Crazy. Like, it's already got more people following than _Mating Season_ does, and that's had ten chapters to build up a following. This might be the first time I've seriously tapped into the sheer _holy shit_ fan-power of the _Naruto_ fandom.

That's especially incredible when I consider that, like Mating Season, this is another fic of mine which I threw together from adds I did to one of my interactive stories over on Writing dot Com. :O

**Updated:** 11-1-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	3. ANBU T&A

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_this shit is wall to wall kink_)

* * *

Naruto let out a pleased groan when he felt himself about to come. He pulled out of Ibiko, his penis glistening brightly with her juices, and he let his semen spray all over her back. He gave her a shower of jizz, making her moan in delight and come all over his thighs.

"You are a _god_," Ibiko moaned shamelessly and sincerely. "You are an absolute and utter _god_ of _sex_."

Sakura was blushing, rubbing herself covertly through the visibly soaked crotch of her shorts. Sasuki was leering intensely at Naruto's gleaming manhood, licking her lips hungrily. Kagome-sensei had an amused look on her face, giggling pervertedly at seeing Ibiko reduced to this by her student.

"I know I am," said Naruto smugly, turned on even further by hearing these praises from someone like Ibiko. "And you're my dirty little slut, aren't you?"

Ibiko moaned, coming again just from being verbally degraded by the blond. And another voice spoke up.

"_I_ want to be your slut..."

It was Karui, of the Kumo kunoichi. She was biting her lip and whimpering, her nipples hard as diamonds and her pussy wetter than the Hidden Mist. She was bucking her hips desperately against the restraints which held her.

"Me too..." said Omoi, her cheeks ruddy and her skin covered with sweat.

"And I also..." added the presumed leader of this three-woman cell, Samui. "Please... let us be your sluts... Please... use us..." She moaned.

Naruto smirked.

"You know what you have to do before I can do that," he said.

"We'll tell you anything!" the girls responded. "Lady Raikage sent us here on rumors of a man! A man in the Leaf, siring a new generation of shinobi...!"

"Is that all?" intoned Kagome, standing in for the fucked-senseless Ibiko.

"We'll tell you anything you want to know!" cried Omoi. "Defense plans! Secret routes into the village! Bee-sensei's bra-size! Please, just fuck us!"

"Yeah!" chimed in Karui. "We'll do whatever you want! Please, we just want to be your sluts! We want to be raped and abused by you! Oh, God! We need it so bad!" She was practically in tears, half-delirious as she spoke.

"We're yours!" moaned Samui. "Now and forever. We give you our everything. So, please!"

"_Fuck us!_" all three cried out together.

Naruto grinned.

"Well, I can hardly say no to that, now, can I?" he mused to himself. Then he nodded. "Alright then. You pass. Now, just let me give you your reward..."

Samui, Karui, and Omoi were soaking wet with anticipation as Naruto walked up to them. His huge, erect member, glistening with the mingled fluids of Ibiko and himself, bobbed this way and that with each step, and the trio's eyes followed its every slightest movement with rapt attention.

Speaking of the interrogator, she was lying on the floor at the feet of Naruto's teammates, dazed and weakly whimpering from an overload of carnal delight. She was sweaty and panting and watching in awe as the bare-assed blond stalked so suggestively towards the three pleading Kumo kunoichi.

"Ahh... Naruto is surprisingly good at this..." said Sakura, sounding torn between a reflexive disapproval of his inexcusably lewd conduct and a burning desire to become a victim of his ravishing.

"He was taught by the best," remarked Kagome, who was eye-smiling at the way her pink-haired student was so shamelessly masturbating. "Lady Miraiya is without equal in the realm of _injutsu_, and she's taught Naruto everything he knows about the sexual arts."

Sasuki purred, humming delightedly as she ogled Naruto's firmly toned ass. "Give her my thanks, next time you see her," the Uchiha prodigy said to her sensei.

Sakura blushed even brighter at the implications of this sentence (not that it was exactly a secret) and she gasped suddenly, moaning and panting as she came in her shorts from the resultant mental image.

Kagome giggled in that perverted way of hers, noticing this, and she sidled over to give Sakura a comfortable pat on the bum.

"I'm sure they'd be glad to invite you, if you asked~" she said cheerily, causing Sakura's cheeks to go full-on infrared she was blushing so hard. The pinkette swooned, moaning weakly as her eyes rolled up into the back of her head. You could practically see the steam coming out of her ears before she went limp and collapsed bonelessly to the floor, unconscious.

"She _really_ needs to work on her endurance," remarked Sasuki dryly. Kagome nodded absentmindedly in agreement, her attention wandering now back to Naruto and the Cloud Village trio.

The first went to Karui, who was the first to break and surrender. Her chocolate brown skin looked deliciously smooth and soft, and he grinned toothily at her small but perky tits.

"You're like a chocolate coated version of Sakura..." he mused, conspicuously looking at Karui's chest as he said this. "I think I'll call you my Chocolate Cherry!" he decided.

Karui blushed, feeling herself grow even further aroused under the direct scrutiny of this gorgeous stud. God, this was the first actual man she'd ever seen outside of a history book – she'd never realized how _attractive_ that kind of muscular, distinctly _masculine_ body could be... That dick alone was singularly more sexually appealing than anything else she had ever seen or imagined in her entire life.

Naruto laughed, seeing the awed look on the redhead's face (idly, he wondered if maybe she had some Uzumaki blood in her veins). "Like what you see?"

"Does Bee-sensei like to rap?" she responded rhetorically, absentmindedly giving an automatic response. At the blank look on Naruto's face, she added belatedly, "Umm, that's a yes."

"Oh!" said Naruto, brightening up. "I see!" he cheerfully gave Karui a playful smack on the hip.

"Ahhhh!" she gasped, eyes going wide as her nerve-endings went wild from that brief, sharp contact. She bucked her hips unconsciously, moaning loudly and lewdly as she came like a torrent. "Ohhh, YES!" she screamed, wriggling her hips delightedly.

Naruto grinned. "You really like that," he observed. "Don't you? Being spanked, I mean."

He gave Karui another slap on the hip, and she loudly wailed, squirming and squealing from pleasure. She didn't need to say a single damn word to get her point across. Not here. Not now.

The empathic powers Naruto got from the combination of his sage training and Kumiko, the Nine-Tails's chakra, enabled him to _feel_ how Karui was feeling from the stimulation he gave her. And the sensations she got from being spanked on the hips a second time by him were enough to make Naruto himself come, just from the sensory feedback.

His seed spurted onto Karui's abdomen, a thick sticking mess of man-milk that starkly contrasted with her darkly toned skin. The redhead squealed, feeling his semen on her body, and she began desperately begging him to relieve this unimaginable ache which was building up in her womanhood. She was hungering for him terribly, and desire wracked her body.

Naruto felt this desire as if it were his own, and it aroused his lust greatly. Moving so fast that even sharingan eyes could only barely begin to follow the afterimage, the blonde undid Karui's restraints. The several highly complex and secure straps and locks released close to simultaneously, and Karui was suddenly dropped from the extremely tilted table.

Naruto caught her though, almost as soon as she started to drop, and the redhead could not help but swoon a little in the surprisingly muscular blond's arms as he grabbed her from the air and carefully set her down across his lap. He was sitting down, now, the to which table Karui had been strapped now leveled flatly horizontal, pushed into that position by a kyuubi chakra hand.

Karui could feel Naruto's massive hardness jabbing into her seed-covered belly as he bent her over his knee, in a perversely sexual parody of a father preparing to punish his child. The touch of his manhood against her skin left her in a state of complete euphoria, a state which even the sharp SMACK of Naruto bringing his hand down on her ass like a hammer on a nail could not break. To the contrary, it only _enhanced_ the sensation, and Karui grew even wetter and hotter from the feeling of his fingers briefly exploring the contours of her backside for a moment a two before retreating.

Again, Naruto brought a hand down on Karui's ass with a far from insignificant force. Lean she may have been, but Karui was nonetheless built of far sterner stuff than any civilian. Kunoichi in general were quite resilient, and rough stuff like this was practically part and parcel of having intercourse with one. Karui's frame jerked from the force of his open palm striking her firm, round buttocks, and his splayed finger dug into the supple, brown flesh of her posterior, squeezing and fondling appreciatively.

Naruto's other hand went to Karui's small breasts, which were well overhanging his legs with the position she was in. He heard her whimper when he cupped one of those perky little tits in the palm of his hand, and he felt the pleasure this action elicited in her body.

"You know," he said conversationally, casually teasing Karui's backdoor and soaking pussy alternately with one hand while groping her A or B-cup breasts with the other, "I think Granny Tsunade once told me that massaging a girls boobs helps them grow bigger..." He squeezed, and Karui whimpered, arching her back in ecstasy from all of the incredible sensations going through her body.

He raised his hand back up, then, and gave Karui's ass another hard swat. She moaned, the softer parts of her figure visibly rippling from the shockwave, and she came explosively, drenching her thighs and his hand.

"That sounds... wonderful..." Karui gasped. "Too... wonderful... too good... to be true..." She was panting so hard that she could scarcely string more than three syllables together without pausing for breath.

Naruto laughed, playfully fondling her small breasts a little more and giving Karui another, lighter, spank.

"Yeah, probably!" he conceded with a gay exuberance, unrepentantly cheerful in his laughter. Then he pinched one of Karui's nipples, mirroring the action down south with her clit.

The redhead's legs shot up and flailed wildly, her body seizing erratically as though a live wire had just been shoved up her ass. She came, her juices flowing like a fountain, and she let out a keening, ecstatic wail high and clear. Then she went limp with a sigh, satisfied and spent.

Content that she had been sufficiently rewarded for betraying her village, Naruto laid Karui down on the table.

"Mind giving her a quick check up, Sakura?" he said to his pink-haired teammate. "I wanna make sure this seal—" He pointed to a faintly glowing spiral mark on the redhead's left butt cheek. "—isn't interfering with anything Kumo mighta put on her."

The pinkette (blushing at being caught with a hand down her shorts) nodded, coughing nervously as she quickly assumed a more professional demeanor.

"Of course," she said, snapping her teammate a sharp salute. "But do you really think it's wise to mark a foreign ninja with _that?_ It might cause an incident..."

"No, the Hidden Cloud would have expected something like this to happen," interjected Sasuki in a voice scarcely above a whisper. "They sent a three-woman cell into Konoha to investigate Naruto's existence? _Please_. As if the Fourth Raikage and her sister haven't _personally_ gone on diplomatic missions inside his pants. They might as well have gift-wrapped those kunoichi and sent them here by post with a letter saying _Hope you enjoy!_"

Sakura blushed, partly from the implications of what Sasuki was saying, and partly just from the remarkable intriguing mental image of those three kunoichi wrapped up like gifts.

"I don't know..." she whispered back to Sasuki even as Naruto walked over to Omoi. "That seems a little..."

Sasuki shrugged. "Accept it or not," she said dismissively. "It's obvious either way. These three were sent over as a peace offering to the next Hokage."

Sakura frowned. "Do you really think...?"

"He's the single most obvious choice since the First," the Uchiha whispered bluntly. "But that's neither here nor there. Go and inspect that Karui girl. We'll have another one for you to look over soon enough, from the looks of it..."

She gestured to Omoi, whom Naruto was now pressing himself up against. The blond was fondling the white-haired kunoichi's breasts and nibbling on her curving, brown neck, leaving bite marks up and down her skin

Omoi moaned, bucking her hips as Naruto teased her body with his hands and his lips.

"Yes!" she said. "YESSS! Ohhh, it feels so _good!_"

Her nerves were on fire, molten ecstasy coursing through her veins as Omoi felt Naruto's body against hers. He was hard and toned, and her soft curves melded into him so wonderfully as his manhood pressed against her virtue. She was not technically a virgin, having done it with her teammates on one or two separate occasions, but this was Omoi's first encounter with a real phallus, and not one of Sensei's dildos.

Naruto went in smoothly, even though his size made it a snug fit indeed. Omoi squeezed down on him tightly just by the sheer virtue of _existing_ in a physical form on his throbbing hardness, and Naruto greatly appreciated the feeling.

He thrust back and forth, intuitively hitting the ideal rhythm for her body through a combination of the feedback his empathic abilities and a plain sixth sense cultivated through his considerable bedroom experience. Naruto fucked Omoi raw, drilling her pussy like a big ass steel rig, and it wasn't long before he struck oil.

Omoi came quickly from Naruto's ministrations, her purse clamping down tight on the blond jinchuuriki's wit. Her nectar drenched his shaft like a bath in sex-scented perfume, and her flesh milked him of his seed, drawing an orgasm from the unbelievably resilient blond.

The feeling of his seed shooting up into the core of her womb made Omoi shiver with delight, and she was panting and sweating from the exertion as he released her. She felt profoundly drained from doing it with Naruto, who was so unimaginably skillful in such things, yet also she felt content, satisfied with what she had gotten.

Naruto lowered Omoi's table and undid the girl's straps. She had a matching spiral seal to Karui's, on the same place as Karui's, an Uzumaki specialty which denoted its bearer as one of the one and only kind of slave that that clan had ever kept in all its long and storied history.

"You were pretty good," Naruto complimented Omoi. "Not many girls can make me come that fast."

Omoi whistled.

"That was _fast_ for you?" she said, openly marveling. "You must be made of _iron_."

"Just my balls!" Naruto joked cheerfully, giving Omoi a wink before stepping back and turning his attention to Samui.

Naruto got on top of the blonde beauty, fondling her large and supple breasts with a lustful abandon. She moaned and whimpered under his ministrations, and greedily took his length inside of her. He gave her a swat on the ass as they joined at the crotch, and a glowing spiral mark appeared on her left buttock.

He fucked her vigorously and insatiably for several long minutes. He made her come all over and scream his name at the top of her lungs. He shot her full of his seed without a moment's hesitation.

Samui loved every minute of it.

The three Cloud kunoichi were officially his bitches.

* * *

A/N: ADFAGASDFAF over 100 followers from just the first two chapters? Holy fucking shit. That is INCREDIBLE. I can hardly believe it, but I guess that's just the power of porn. XP

**Updated:** 11-2-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	4. But I Digress

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_this shit is wall to wall kink_)

* * *

Long, spiked tresses cascaded down an armored back. The visible swell of generous, child-bearing hips was evident even through the archaic splint mail, and one did not need the byakugan to be able to tell that a full, round bum was inside those trousers.

Arms were crossed over a generous bosom, the bulge of the maille at the breast being no small matter. Of ruddy iron the armor was forged, dyed perhaps with some pigment or mineral.

Regal gray eyes, a violet gray, rippled like the surface of a pond, stared out intensely over the bustling village of Konoha. The skin of her face, a ghostly pally, had the appearance of a strange, papery texture.

"This is unacceptable," muttered a feminine voice from beside this woman. "You willfully misinformed me."

The speaker had much creasing and scarring on the right side of her body, a sharingan eye peering out from a softly feminine face. Her hair was short and spiked, and she had a rather more modest figure than the first one.

"Did you think I would not anticipate your treachery, _Tobi?_" retorted the armored, long-haired woman in low, husky voice.

The younger woman scoffed. A single rinnegan eye met the rinnegan of the older woman.

"Treachery?" she said. "Do not insult me, Madara. Such plebeian labels are beneath us."

Madara glowered at the impudent Obito.

"You tread a fine line, child," she said. "Because of your incompetence..." She gestured to their bodies, indicating her meaning silently.

"Don't think you can shift all of the blame onto me!" retorted Obito hotly, her bosom heaving. "You foolish neglected to pass along highly important information."

Madara scoffed. "It was anything but foolish," she replied imperiously. "A pawn does not need to know the ever inner thought of his king. He must simply do as he is told, and give up his life in service of a greater cause."

"You are impossible to reason with," Obito muttered under her breath. Madara still heard it, though.

"What is reason but an avenue for deceit?" Madara responded rhetorically. "I possess the greater cause, and the superior will. I cannot be bent to the cause of another."

"A superior will?" said Obito bitterly. "Don't make me laugh. What part of this world was _your_ will? It's all Naruto."

Madara winced. "I will admit..." she reluctantly spoke, "...I greatly underestimated that boy... I did not believe that anyone could wrest control of Infinite Tsukuyomi away from me."

"Well, you believed _wrongly_," said Obito. "Now we are _women_, and Naruto Uzumaki is like engaging in all manners of sexual debauchery."

In spite of themselves, Obito and Madara felt their cheeks redden as they imagined the blond jinchuuriki letting his innermost desires run free. Unbidden, and half against their will, they envisioned Naruto's naked body, spending a great amount of focus on the general area of his groin.

As one, the two conspirators felt a little bit of blood trickle from their nostrils, their faces heating up.

"Ah..." murmured Madara, the image of Naruto's manhood burning itself into her mind's eye. "Perhaps we should seek him out... the Uzumaki, I mean."

"Yes," whispered Obito, cheeks bright pink. "Let's."

* * *

Elsewhere, in the Land of Wind, the Kazekage was locked in a heated debate.

"No matter how you look at it, mine are bigger."

"In a pig's eye, maybe. I'm sorry sis, but _mine_ are so obviously bigger."

"You two are both idiots. Can't you see that _mine_ are the biggest?"

The Fifth Kazekage, Gaara of the Cascading Sands, glowered icily at her two older sisters. Temari and Kanakuro were both topless, along with the Kazekage herself, and all three sisters were holding up their naked breasts as they stubbornly argued. Officially, the three of them were the same cup-size, but whenever one borrowed a bra from one of the others, they would always complain about it being too snug.

If Kanakuro borrowed a bra from Temari, she would complain about the bra being too small. The same thing would happen if Temari borrowed from Gaara, or Gaara borrowed from Kanakuro, or even if Kanakuro borrowed from Gaara, Temari borrowed from Kanakuro, and Gaara borrowed from Temari. No matter how they did it, each of them would insist that the others had smaller breasts.

Logically, of course, they couldn't _all_ right, so snippy comments were frequently passed between the three of them over accusations of lying and possessing smaller tits.

Now, some might say it was a little _odd_ that these sisters were borrowing each other's underwear so often that this kind of fuss was a regular occurrence, and those people would actually be half-right: this WASN'T a regular occurrence. Usually things would go no further than a snide remark, or a muttered complaint, but today it had just reached a boiling point.

"My boobs are TOTALLY bigger!" insisted Kanakuro, hefting her not inconsiderable melons up in the palms of her hands. "You two are delusional!"

"As _if_," replied Temari, arching her back and puffing out her chest to let her equally impressive bazongas stand out. "The only thing those glorified bug bites are bigger than is your _brain_. I, on the other hand, am CLEARLY the most well-endowed. I have the chronic back pains to prove it!"

Kanakuro snorted. "We _all_ do. And that's as much from carrying our weapons as it is from our boobs. Just admit it, sis! You're as flat as a board!"

"You're both small," Gaara interjected, drawing the pair's attention to a grotesquely over-sized bosom nearly as big as the Kazekage's desk. "At least, in comparison to _me_."

Temari grimaced, and Kanakuro blanched.

"Ugh, _gross_," said Temari. "Is that _silicone?_"

"There is no way that's healthy," contributed Kanakuro. "And implants don't count, anyways."

Gaara scoffed quietly. "You two are just jealous that _you_ can't do this."

Temari made a face. "Ehhh... I'd rather stick with what I was _born_ with, thank you very much. Cramming that much sand into your boobs can't POSSIBLY be healthy."

"Yeah, can you even _walk_ with a rack that big?" asked Kanakuro. "Those things must weigh a ton."

"I can control them quite easily," replied Gaara. Her breasts then began to flail around seemingly of their own accord, causing the redhead to fall down flat on her ass. "...for the most part."

Temari and Kanakuro rolled their eyes. Then Gaara whimpered when she felt her bosom stop levitating, the full weight of those monsters now pressing down on her chest. They were so heavy now that they compressed her rib cage, preventing her lungs from fully inflating.

Her face slowly started to turn blue as she gasped for air. Gaara's older sisters watched rather impassively as the redhead struggled with breathing for several long seconds, before finally giving up and gesturing with her hands.

Watching the particles of sand fly out of the pores in their sister's skin was a rather stomach turning sight, even for elite jonin kunoichi like Kanakuro and Temari. Once all the sand had left Gaara's breasts, though, they looked as good as new. Moreover, they looked to be the exact same size as her sisters' boobs.

"...okay, so maybe that was a terrible idea," conceded Gaara.

"Yeah," said Temari, "I dunno _where_ you got such an awful idea."

"I think Naruto's been rubbing off on you with a lot more than just his dick," remarked Kanakuro. Gaara blushed deeply, becoming visibly shy at the thought of her crush/obsession.

"Though _I_ wouldn't mind having him rub one out on me," Temari said with a perverted giggle, smiling slyly.

"Oh, of course not!" agreed Kanakuro. "By the breeze, sometimes I am just _so_jealous of you and Gaara getting to go to Konoha all the time."

Temari blushed a little at this. "Ah, well as for me, I've never actually gotten with Naruto, personally... I mean, he's usually booked solid."

Gaara allowed herself a small smirk. "And you're usually preoccupied with Shikamari, aren't you?"

Temari was silent at this, cheeks brightly erubescent.

Kanakuro then blinked. "Aha!" she exclaimed. "I've got it! I know how we can settle our little debate about bust-size: we can have Naruto be the judge!"

Temari, still blushing, smiled. "He's definitely seen enough tits to be a good judge, I reckon."

"Ooh, _definitely_," purred Gaara dreamily, a faraway look in her eyes. "Mm, I'm getting hot just thinking about it..."

At the very least, her nipples were stiff and erect.

"It's settled, then!" declared Kanakuro. "We're going to the Leaf, to have Naruto Uzumaki be the judge of who has the biggest tits!"

"Yeah!" cheered Temari. "We're going on a road trip!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Konoha, the long-imprisoned spy Kabuko Yakushi was being triple-teamed by Kagome-sensei, Sasuki, and Sakura. The white-haired medic writhed and moaned under the sensual torment being inflicted upon her by Naruto's teammates.

Sasuki and Sakura were each biting and suckling on one of Kabuko's modest C-cup breasts, nibbling her nipples and tasting her creamy mounds. Kagome-sensei, meanwhile, was molesting the spy's pussy, her fingers enveloped with the electrical current of a significantly nerfed raikiri as they mercilessly twiddled and tweaked Kabuko's most sensitive place.

"Give it up," said Naruto, watching sternly as his teammates wore down the intransigent captive's resistance. He was still pantsless from his round with the Cloud girls. "Or do you need another demonstration of what you'll get if you just tell us what we want to know?"

He gestured to three naked shadow clones of himself, who were standing at the ready alongside the equally naked trio of Samui, Karui, and Omoi. The three kunoichi, who had eagerly accepted their new lot in life, were quite clearly exceedingly horny and ready to demonstrate for their new master at the drop of a hat, all day and night long if they had to.

"N-never..." panted Kabuko weakly, biting back a moan as Sasuki breathed a bit of fire chakra onto one of her nipples.

She was gritting her teeth and swinging her head from side to side in an effort to distract herself from the immense pleasure surging through her body. She felt so good it _hurt_, but she couldn't afford to show any sign of weakness.

...not that her attempts at hiding her pleasure worked very well on _Naruto_.

"Keep telling yourself that, if you want," said Naruto nonchalantly. "...but I'd seriously suggest you just spill, already."

"No..." Kabuko gasped. "I don't know anything... I... I..."

She came.

Yakushi's nectar surged forth from her inner floodgates, dowsing Kagome's fingers. Her back arched, and she let out a shrill, keening wail. Her eyes were clenched tightly shut against the blinding light of fireworks inside her head, and her muscles refused to listen to her orders.

Kabuko's head rolled. She was panting heavily, redfaced and gasping for air. Her skin was flush with sweat, and she had a look of profound shame on her face.

"Your defenses were pitiful," remarked Sasuki, pulling her head back from Kabuko's bosom, along with Sakura.

"Next to our _offenses_, at any rate~!" remarked Sakura with all the bubbling cheer of a girl who was still riding the high of a recent orgasm.

Kabuko did not say anything. She merely whimpered, perhaps not trusting herself to speak without letting something slip.

"You were a pretty tough nut to crack, though," conceded Kagome-sensei with her characteristically laid back candor.

"But she cracked in the end, right?" came head interrogator Ibiko's voice from the doorway leading into Kabuko's cell. The scarred kunoichi was once more fully dressed, and she had a look of sadistic delight on her face.

"I think so," said Naruto, and he walked forward towards the white-haired double agent. His teammates stepped aside, allowing him access to the captive. "Well?" he asked her. "Will you talk?"

Kabuko glared at him impotently. There was no heat, nor ice either, behind her expression, and it was clear to Naruto that she was only hanging on to her resistance by a thread. She was _this_ close to spilling the beans, singing like a stool pigeon, telling them everything they want to know. She was at the end of her rope. The adopted daughter of the former director of Konoha's Medic Corps was just one gentle nudge away from toppling over the proverbial edge into metaphorical oblivion.

So Naruto leaned over and kissed her, smack dab on the lips. It was a light kiss, chaste, with no tongue or any chakra tricks, but that soft peck was all it took, and all he needed.

Kabuko broke. She spilled everything.

And even as the (apparently) career spy started finally cooperating with her interrogators, Naruto and team turned and left to report back to Tsunade. The three horny Kumo kunoichi were escorted to Naruto's place by three equally lustful shadow clones.

Both of the latter parties were naked, but that was no big deal. Uzumaki concubines traditionally went out in the buff more often than not, and most of the villagers were apt to greatly appreciate the view of Naruto's nude doppelgangers.

In the meantime, Kagome, Sasuki, Sakura, and Naruto headed back to the Hokage Tower. They were all once more properly dressed, and satisfied from a job well done, as far as their mission was concerned.

"I bet we'll get a pretty big bonus for getting that Kabuko to squeal," mused Sakura idly as they walked down street towards the center of the village. "Maybe even another commendation! I'm so close to jonin I can _taste_ it."

"You think so?" said Kagome, her visible eye lazily scanning through the text of her favorite work of literary smut.

"Definitely," said Sakura. "Naruto and Sasuki both made the grade, and I wasn't far behind them. Another couple good marks like this on my record, and I'll be a shoo in for sure."

Sasuki afforded herself a small smile. "Good for you," she said with rare sincerity, giving her pink-haired teammate a pat on the shoulder. "You deserve it."

Sakura beamed, a pink blush in her cheeks. "Thank you, Sasuki!" she chirped, looking ecstatic at this bit of well-wishing from someone she so greatly admired and adored.

Naruto smirked, seeing the way Sakura was looking at Sasuki. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at the pair, causing Sasuki to lustily smile and put a hand on her hip while Sakura flushed beet red with anger and swore at him irritably.

"You damn pervert!" snapped the pinkette at the blond, causing the bluenette to giggle and their sensei to sigh wistfully.

"Ah, young love..." said Kagome, teasing her students.

"Heh heh!" Naruto chuckled, throwing an arm around both Sakura and Sasuki. "You think so, Kagome-sensei? I guess they do make a pretty good pair, hanging off my arms!"

Sakura bopped him on the head, blushing bright scarlet from something quite distinct from anger. Sasuki gave him a suggestive smirk and a pinch on the ass.

"I'm game if Sakura is," she said, causing the pinkette's eyes to widen and her mouth to go agape. They could practically _see_ the steam pouring out from her ears as the poor girl overheated.

Then they looked up, and saw that they were at the Hokage Tower. Grinning, satisfied with a job well done, they went inside to report to Tsunade.

They did not notice the figures watching them from the shadows.

* * *

A/N: Fuuuuck, I hate getting fucking sick. Stupid stuffy nose and sore throat that woke me up so goddamn early this morning that I somehow managed to get TWO chapters worth of this stuff done in a single done.

On another note, re: that guest review by some guy who said '_hhhj:this is a yoai fic_' I can only say... lolwut? Haha, man, if this is what you would call yaoi, then _Undesired Arousal _would probably make your head explode. The only way you could call this yaoi would be in the most distant, tangential sense.

On another note, I completely forgot to mention it last chapter, but those of you who paid close attention may have noticed the phrase '_Kumiko, the Nine-Tails_'. This may or may not become relevant later. Mostly, I just bring it up because that is one name-change that I am rather proud of, since where Kurama means _Nine Lamas_, Kumiko I made from _Nine Miko_.

Also, I have no goddamn idea I was thinking with that middle scene. Gaara using her sand manipulation to give herself ridiculous silicone implants, and the whole arguing over who had the biggest boobs... Honestly, just an excuse to bring them to Konoha.

...although, supposing Naruto were to know hiraishin, and there just happened to be seals scattered across the Elemental Continent... AHHH BRAIN IDEA THINKINGS

Snort.

Fucking nose.

**Updated:** 11-2-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	5. Boldly Shameless

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_this shit is wall to wall kink_)

* * *

Tsunade looked over the paper in her hands, reading the written mission report. She had a pleased look on her face, smiling softly as she scanned her eyes across the sheet's contents. She hummed thoughtfully, reaching the last line of the account.

"So Kabuko has agreed to cooperate, then? And the Kumo kunoichi were successfully broken down?" she said, setting the paper down on her desk and looking up at the members of Team Seven. She leaned forward a little, resting her chest on the desktop and folding her hands in front of her face in a spot on Gendo Ikari impression. "Mm. Excellent work, you four."

She leaned a little more forward, her bosom pressing into the surface of her desk. A good deal of her bountiful, generous cleavage was exposed, and her deep brown eyes were strongly zeroed in on the blond member of the squad.

"Especially _you_, Naruto," she added. "I understand you broke down their defenses?"

The jinchuuriki chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Heh heh, yeah..." he said. "It wasn't easy, but I got 'em to talk."

Tsunade nodded, and she was looking intently into his eyes.

"You also marked those three Cloud kunoichi as Uzumaki property, correct?" she said shrewdly.

Naruto blushed. "Er... Yeah, I did. They seemed pretty eager for it, though. Why?" he asked. "It's not a problem, right?"

The Fifth Hokage sighed, but she was smiling. She shook her head.

"No," said Tsunade, "I have a feeling it will be just fine. You're responsible for their well-being, though. So take good care of them." She then turned her attention to the team as a whole. "Naruto, Sasuki, Sakura! You three are dismissed. And, Kagome! I have a bit more business with you."

All four nodded, voicing their comprehension, and Kagome's students turned and left the office while Miss Hatake herself stayed behind to confer with Tsunade.

* * *

Outside the building, Naruto and his teammates walked down the village's main street. Sakura was humming jumbled snatches of music to herself, and Sasuki was walking noticeably close to her rival. She was pressing herself up right next to him, literally rubbing shoulders with the famous male jinchuuriki. She was not shy of showing her claim on the blond, platonic or otherwise, and while she was certainly willing to share she was nonetheless very possessive in her own curious way.

And, certainly, Naruto _was_ the object of countless lustful glances from the village people, the sizable bulge of his groin quite visible through his trousers, which it should be noted were otherwise not even remotely formfitting or skintight, in particular being thoroughly ogled and admired.

"I assume we're still on for tonight?" Sasuki purred, leaning casually into Naruto's side as they walked. His body was hard and warm, and she could feel the outline of his muscles even through his clothes.

"Sure we are!" said Naruto, giving her a bright grin. He planted a light, but nonetheless suggestive peck on Sasuki's cheek, before turning his head to look at his other teammate. "Hey, Sakura-chan!" he said "You wanna come with me and Sasuki, maybe make this twosome a _three_some?" He waggled his eyebrows and grinned suggestively, making it quite obvious _exactly_ what he meant.

Sakura blushed.

"Um, n-no thanks..." the pinkette stammered nervously, steam practically coming out of her ears. "Sorry, but... b-but, I've gotta go home and help my moms with... um... Bye!"

Blushing furiously, the mortified medic-nin darted off down the street. Sasuki eyed Sakura's nicely shaped posterior as she went.

"Oh, too bad," remarked Sasuki, still looking after the quickly departing form of their surprisingly shy teammate. Then she shrugged, and turned back to Naruto, smiling seductively. "Well, I guess that just means more for me." She licked her lips, eyes briefly flicking up and down Naruto's form. "Remember," she told him, "My place, tonight at seven. I'll be _waiting_."

Giving Naruto a wink when she said that last word, Sasuki turned and walked off towards the Uchiha District, consciously making a point to put a bit of wiggle in her walk as she departed. The blond watched her swaying hips as she left, grinning a shit-eating grin and already imagining how _hot_ tonight promised to be.

As it would still be a couple of hours before the appointed time of meeting, Naruto decided to head back home and see how his concubines were adjusting... and maybe concubine wasn't _quite_ the best word for what the girls were, but the slightly more accurate _sex slave_ didn't exactly appeal to his sensibilities.

Naruto walked at a leisurely pace back to his family's place, waving hello to the various villagers as he passed them. Many tittered and winked at him, or blushed or swooned when he said hello or gave them a compliment. They adored the blond almost unilaterally, and there was not so much as a single sexually active female in Konoha who wouldn't want a piece of that fine jinchuuriki ass. It was not uncommon for ladies to just walk up and proposition him while going down the street, and thanks to his shadow clone jutsu Naruto rarely had to disappoint them with a "No."

The memories alone that he got from the clones were usually enough to get him off, and if he focused his sensory abilities he could literally feel everything that his clones experienced as they experienced it. Right now, for instance, as he drew nearer to his house Naruto could feel in his loins the phantom sensation of tongues going up and down an erect shaft, and a tight hole squeezing down against a rock hard dick. Unconsciously, he immediately knew that his clones were showing Samui, Omoi, and Karui the ropes – both literal AND metaphorical.

If he closed his eyes, or else specifically synchronized his chakra to that of his shadow clones, he could literally see what they saw, and feel what they felt, and all of it at once. Like the abilities of his sexy, masochist cousin Pain-chan's rinnegan, Naruto could use a combination of sage and kyuubi chakra to create a shared sensory field with any active shadow clones so that instead of just getting their memories as they dispelled, he could experience what they experienced even as they experienced it. Anything that a shadow clone of Naruto could see, smell, taste, hear, or feel, he could also see and smell and so on and so forth.

And as he got closer to his home, Naruto decided to do exactly that, tuning in to some of his various active clones throughout the village.

_"Ohhh, Naruto...!" moaned Hyuuga cousins Hinata and Nejie as a shadow clone used a kyuubi chakra cloak to attentively molest their inviting, voluptuous bodies. Hands of golden flame squeezed full, heaving breasts, cupping and groping heavenly mounds of the so-called __True_ Hyuuga Bloodline Limit. "It feels so goooood!" these two beautiful, pearly-eyed babes moaned in unison, writhing and wriggling as the shadow clone pleasured them.

_Hinata and Nejie's legs spread wide, and more chakra appendages were attending to their aching nether regions, forming brobdignagian phalli of pure life force to penetrate both vaginally and anally while hands caressed smooth, pale thighs and fondled plump, round buttocks._

"Hehe, looks those two are sure having fun," mused Naruto with a perverted snicker, quietly appreciating the sensory feedback from the shadow clone's chakra, which acted as an extension of its body in more ways than one.

The sight of those two Hyuuga princesses so thoroughly debased and pleasured also aroused him, filling him with a hint of pride.

Hinata might have been very eager to do it with him, but Nejie was famously frigid and impossible to please. That he could reduce the Ice Queen of Konoha to as big a puddle of orgasmic bliss as Hinata said amazing things about Naruto's sexual prowess.

_"Oh, yes!" wailed Anko Mitarashi, seated spread-legged on a horizontal pole that rode a little up between her lower lips. She was naked as a blue jay, and many long, narrow, violent red marks crisscrossed the skin of her back and her buttocks. "Whip me harder! This filthy whore needs to be punished! Oh God yes! Ahhh! Ah!"_

_A riding crop landed a sharp stroke across the snake summoning special jonin's back, wielded by the hand of a leather-clad dominatrix_ Naruko, _with the only difference from a usual female anatomy being the distinctively male cock and balls which Naruto sported even when he used the transformation jutsu to become otherwise female, rather like the tail of a kitsune which stayed with it no matter what form it took._

_Naruto's futanari Naruko kage bunshin leered down at the squealing, wiggling Anko who she marked with her whip like a cow under a brand. And the violette was in fact hooked up to an automated milk pump, the suction cups covering her nipples filled with white as they sucked Anko's tits dry. The lactic secretions were pumped into a clear tank, large enough to hold a full gallon of fluid._

_It was nearly half full._

"Ahh," murmured Naruto with a wide grin, "I guess Anko-chan really wanted to try that thing out. Wonder if she'll save any for me?" he pondered idly.

_"Ahn...!" moaned the pineapple haired brunette genius, Shikamari Nara, as a shadow clone plowed the metaphorical fields of her bum in the middle of a forest, surrounded by cautiously curious deer. "What a pain in the ass...!" she whimpered through tears of both pleasure and pain as her anus was reamed by a hard, throbbing mass that some would call comparable in size to her forearm and fist._

_He backdoor was incredibly tight, even after the many previous times that Naruto or a shadow clone had torn it a new one with their dicks, and the shadow clone was continuously at the brink of coming as it rocked furiously back and forth inside the lean kunoichi's rear end, making her tight ass jiggle as her modestly average tits were ground into the far from soft forest floor._

_A few feet away, another shadow clone was having its manhood expertly sucked off by the plus-sized and beautiful Choume, whose powerful build was adorned with curves that were like no other by the sheer virtue of the average Akimichi's body mass. The clone shot a load into Choume's mouth as she fondled its balls, and she smiled cheerfully as she swallowed down the salty treat._

Naruto felt himself get especially hard from this one. Shikamari and Choume did practically everything together, and the fact that this included sex was pretty common knowledge among their peers.

"I'm just surprised Ino wasn't there, too!" the blond joked to himself, grinning pervertedly as he thought of the Yamanaka lass. "But I guess she's kinda on a mission with Shiko and Kiba, at the moment, isn't she?"

He shrugged. That was unfortunate, but oh well.

_"Do you like that, Naruto-sama?" purred career chuunin and gate-guard Testuko, who was sandwiching the shadow clone's cock between her and her friend Izumi's breasts, both women naked as the day they were born._

_"Of course he does," replied Izumi, smiling lustily at her friend. Their endowments were fairly average in size, and by themselves a titfuck would be impossible. But by working together, these two could please a man (meaning here exclusively_ Naruto_) in ways that almost no others could._

_"Well," replied Tetsuko, "Do you think he'd like this, too?"_

_She leaned forward and planted a deep, passionate kiss on her friend and partner's lips. Izumi squeaked briefly in surprise, before moaning into Tetsuko's lips and beginning to reciprocate with some tongue. Naruto's shadow clone watched this occur with an erection and a grin._

"Ooh, _hot_," commented Naruto. A shiver ran up his spine at the mental image of Izumi and Tetsuko frenching one another with his dick mashed between their tits, and the blond felt one of his hands absently wander down south to his crotch, where a most visible tent had formed in his trousers.

Many villagers stopped and stared with unmasked lust and delight as Naruto half-unconsciously started to rub off his junk through his pants, making pussies to water and tops to burst just from being in relative proximity to him in this state.

It was one debatable "benefit" of Naruto's immense chakra, which was in turn both saturated with his preternaturally incredible life force and highly attuned to the natural energies of the cosmos, that when Naruto started to get really horny, the whole world around him kinda just _stopped_ and became obsessively focused on helping this anointed one remedy his problem. Even if he didn't _need_ the help.

The Universe was just _really_ eager to please him, even if Naruto insisted that he was perfectly fine, and thanks but no thanks – being the prophesied savior of an entire reality was weird like that. And the Universe _just so happened_ to include every person in the Leaf Village.

And "every girl in the Leaf Village" ALSO happened to include the devilish duo of Madara and Obito Uchiha, who had up to that point been trying to track Naruto down. These two questionably well-intentioned extremists were, by some grand cosmic coincidence, just on the other side of the street from the blond, having a lunch in a dango shop, when he started to get really hot and bothered from what and who all his shadow clones were presently doing.

They did not see Naruto at first, being absorbed in glowering silent accusations at one another as they bitterly choked down the sweet, impaled dumplings. But they did not need to see him to _feel_ the sudden pull on their loins* when the Uzumaki began to absentmindedly manhandle himself in public.

*Of course, to call it a _pull on their loins_, was a bit of a vast oversimplification. It was not as though they _literally_ felt some invisible force tugging at their hoohas like Naruto's dick was a supermagnet and their pussies were made up variously of iron, nickel, cobalt, and steel. That would be preposterous.

Rather, what they actually experienced was a complex series of physiological cues for arousal, including vaginal lubrication and enlargement, as well as a flushing of the skin in many parts of the body, caused by increased blood flow in those areas. Colloquially speaking, they got wet and ready for sex down south, while a bright pink blush spread from across their bodies. There was also an increase in heart rate, and a slight correspondent change in the pattern of breathing.

Madara, dressed conspicuously in her archaic armor, stood out even more with cheeks the color of Sakura's hair and cutely girlish whimpers escaping her lips as her nostrils were suddenly filled up with a musky, strangely addictive scent. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat as her body became increasingly sexually aroused, and these simultaneously foreign yet familiar sensations filled her with undeniable lust.

Obito handled the abrupt arousal slightly better, in that she did not immediately begin tearing futilely at sturdy armor to free painfully sensitive breasts from their suddenly far too confining prison. Instead, she simply began casting her mismatched eyes this way and that in a desperate search for _something_, although she knew not WHAT she was looking for. But she felt the ache in her loins, and the almost irresistible desire to fill what now felt so unconscionably _void_.

Naturally, the pair being perhaps the only people in the world to remember what the _real_ world had been like, Obito and Madara were baffled and slightly afraid, initially. All of their conditioning was useless against this inexorable onslaught of carnal desire, which washed away their mental defenses with all the languid ease of a lava flow incinerating a house made of straw in the middle of a drought.

As two of the most skilled shinobi of their respective times, this pair of Uchiha misfits rather _prided_ themselves on having near complete control of their bodies and all related functions. But this arousal was beyond their power to resist, and even as they struggled to concentrate on who they were and why they were there, their bodies began to move seemingly all of their own accord.

Like a waking dream, Madara and Obito were only just lucid enough to be aware of what was going on when their bodies walked out of the restaurant – moving almost without any apparent input from their conscious minds – and crossed the street to where Naruto was strolling down the sidewalk, shamelessly touching himself through his trousers to much catcalls and applause and offers of sexual services from all of the nearby village women. And the moment they saw the blond, and realized what he was doing, Obito and Madara found themselves immediately drawing a blank on any subject that didn't involve the immediate sight of Naruto all but whipping out his dick and publicly masturbating, or the potential prospect of getting to have sex with Naruto and see that dick up close and personal.

Regardless of what their inclinations or orientations might have been prior to the execution of Project Tsuki no Me, Madara and Obito found that they were now at the very least firmly _Naruto-sexual_.

Not the most comforting thought for the two, but then they were kind of distracted by the hungering, implacable ache in their pussies and the pleasantly numbing buzz in their frontal lobes that kindly asked their critical thinking to kick back, relax, and allow the reptilian hindbrain to take over things for the time being.

Maybe it was a little disconcerting, somewhere in the back of their minds, but at the moment the longer they stared at Naruto, and the closer they got to that brazen, chiseled body of a physical sex god, all they could think about was how good it would feel to let their cares go and surrender themselves temporarily to the unknown whims of this gorgeous stud.

They were feeling _just that horny_.

* * *

A/N: Man, it still feels so surreal to be getting this kind of insane traffic on ANYTHING for me. But, hey! I'm not complaining*. Keep the reviews and hits coming! :D

*About that, at least. I _do_, however, feel compelled to grumble over the fact that I am STILL being afflicted by this goddamn sore throat. Ugh, it is _so_ fucking annoying, especially since I am about halfway through my weekend now and it has still not shown any signs of letting up. :argh:

In other news, I'd thought I'd made the setting of this fic pretty clear, but since someone asked me in a review when this was supposed to be set, I suppose I might as well make it so obvious that the only way anyone could still be confused about would be if they randomly skipped large sections of text, including this A/N:

_A Lewd New World_ takes place inside Infinite Tsukuyomi. For all intents and purposes, the world as it is outside of the illusion is the same as in canon, up to some point near the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War, where everything has pretty much gone to hell for the good guys. Except that Obito misunderstood how the technique worked, and the genjutsu wound up being highjacked by Naruto's subconscious.

This all happens _before_ this fic actually starts. In its entirety, this story is set inside a hypothetical (read: "crack as fuck") ideal reality as determined by the teenage libido of somebody who spent three years training on the road with the inimitable "Pervy Sage" Jiraiya.

So, from a certain point of view, you could say that this is all "just a dream/illusion". Because it _totally is_.

And therein lies the "parody"(?) aspect.

**Updated:** 11-4-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	6. Big Babe Duumverate

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_i am utterly without shame_)

* * *

When Naruto saw two beautiful, Uchiha babes come up to him with desperation in their eyes and pink in their cheeks, he knew at once what they wanted from him. He could sense their emotions, after all, and pretty much the only thing he could feel coming from them was unadulterated _lust_.

Naruto might not have recognized these girls as anyone he knew, but that had hardly deterred him from lending a hand before. Plus he was feeling really horny himself, at the moment, so his interests were almost certainly intersecting with the interests of these two cute and randy strangers.

"Heya!" he said with a cocky grin. "Like what you see?"

The blond removed his hand from his crotch to point, without an ounce of subtlety or tact, at the massive tent in his trousers. Then he did a couple of short pelvic thrusts to emphasize, and winked suggestively at the pair.

In spite of themselves, Obito and Madara only got more turned on by this, and they practically swooned at Naruto's feet.

"_Yes,_" said the normally proud and stubborn but currently so-horny-it-hurt Madara Uchiha through clenched teeth, and her hands started scrabbling senselessly again at her armor. She was so desperate to strip, it seemed, that she couldn't even remove how to take it off.

"And then some," added the second girl, Obito "Tobi" Uchiha who was currently wanting nothing more than to be fucked by this gorgeous Adonis. She was visibly salivating, staring without an once of shame straight at Naruto's crotch.

Naruto chuckled, absentmindedly noticing that both of them appeared to have the rinnegan, like Pain-chan. The second one even had a sharingan, too. How odd.

"Well, I can say the same for me," he told them with a waggle of his eyebrows, playfully leering at Obito and Madara's very feminine figures. The two blushed under the cheerful scrutiny of those gleaming cerulean eyes, and they whimpered softly at the feeling of an exponentially increased wetness in their vaginas.

"You do?" said Madara, uncharacteristically giddy at the thought that Naruto might enjoy the sight of her body.

"Do you... think we're pretty?" whimpered Obito bashfully, unable to function at all properly with so much burning lust inundating her mind, body, and soul.

Naruto laughed. "Pretty?" he said, taking a short body flicker forward to move behind the pair and smack them both playfully on the rear. "Baby, I think you're _smokin'_." He gave her a Fonzie signature double-pointing thumbs up and a click of the tongue and a wink.

Obito's heart did gymnastics, and she suddenly felt far too hot to be so heavily dressed. Her cheeks were bright red, and she raised a hand to the scarred and creased side of her face.

"You... You really think so...?" she asked nervously, feeling far too invested in Naruto's opinion for it to possibly be healthy.

He smirked, and wrapped an arm around her waist, slipping a thumb down the waist of her trousers.

"I _know_ so," he told her confidently, causing what little resistance Obito may have still had to crack.

"Take me now," she said to him, her mismatched eyes boring intensely into his. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body tightly and desperately against his. "I _need_ this."

Madara scowled at Obito, feeling oddly jealous of the attention her stupid distant descendant was getting from their flaxen haired Casanova.

Naruto grinned, feeling the pleasant sensation of this stranger basically spooning him standing up.

"Heh heh," he chuckled. "Do you want your clothes in one piece, or do you want me to go wild on you?" He thrust his pelvis against the girl, rubbing his erection against her groin through their clothes.

Madara glowered enviously, and went up to press herself into Naruto from behind.

"No fair," she said peevishly. "I want him too."

Naruto laughed.

"Don't worry, ladies! There's plenty of me to go around!" he said.

Immediately, Madara heard a poof, and then she felt hungry lips on her neck, kissing and biting the sensitive skin. She moaned, turning around to see a Naruto shadow clone had been conjured up for her. The clone grinned at Madara suggestively, and she felt her armor fall from her body, undone in movements too fast for even _her_ to follow.

She was left standing naked in the middle of the street, being ogled predatorily by a visibly lustful shadow clone of Naruto Uzumaki. Her full breasts heaved and jiggled with every breath, and her soaking womanhood was visibly reddened and swollen with desire.

Madara moaned, perversely delighted.

Obito, meanwhile, had decided that she wanted to go at it fast and furious.

"Fuck me raw!" she begged Naruto desperately, feeling so starved for sexual stimulation and moral degradation. "I don't care what else you do, so long as you _please fuck me!_"

Naruto chuckled, seeing the girl tearing lustfully at her clothes, desperately flailing to remove them. She threw them off, stripping shamelessly and swiftly in the middle of the street, completely uncaring who saw her like this. Her nipples were visibly stiff and hard, and Naruto leered companionably at her modest, heaving breasts and soaking, flushed womanhood.

Sweat beaded down the girl's skin, running down her arms and torso and legs. Moisture dripped down into the nice cleavage largish C-cups, glistening temptingly on her pale skin.

Naruto saw that the scarring extended all the way down the right side body. Even her right breast looked for all the world like it had been completely reconstructed after some terrible accident. It was far from off-putting, though. Shinobi like himself were far from inexperienced with messy injuries and bad scarring. What most civilians though of as ugly or grotesque, many shinobi would as a mark of pride.

You could only get scars from injuries that _didn't_ kill you, after all. Just surviving the kind of physical trauma that would induce such extensive scarring bespoke a considerable grit and toughness. Shinobi were those who endured hardship. Naruto had taken this lesson firmly to heart.

So as far as he was concerned, it only made him that much more intrigued to see that this girl had so much scarring. She was obviously a kunoichi, and one who had gone through Hell and still managed to come out the other side. That was hot, in the sense that he perceived her to clearly possess many beneficial traits to pass on to a next generation.

Her eyes in particular.

Naruto knew of the rinnegan from Pain-chan, his distant BDSM-loving cousin who ruled Ame, where she was worshiped by the people a living goddess. It was an exceedingly rare visual prowess of considerable lineage, yet _both_ of these girls possessed it. That intrigued him. Because even as thick as he could be, Naruto was no fool. He knew that there was something _special _about these two girls, even if he couldn't tell exactly _what_.

He smiled, eyeing this girl's naked body. As far as he was concerned, the scars only made her that much more desirable.

"You want this?" he said again, chuckling softly as he casually dropped his trousers down to his ankles. "Well, alright then, babe."

He gave her a wink, before pushing her back into the side of a building, pinning a moaning Obito against the wall as he began.

Naruto bit this girl on the neck, grabbing her breasts in his hands even as he pushed his hardness up against her pelvis. He groped her lustfully, giving her violent red hickeys all up and down her neck and shoulders as he thrust himself roughly into her.

Obito gasped as Naruto entered her. Not from pain, because it did not hurt. No, she gasped for the sudden surge of ecstasy that flooded her body. The instant Naruto went into her, the last of her resistances crumbled. She wailed out shameless at the top of her lungs, scraping her nails up and down the blond's back as he pounded her private place hard enough to make the building behind her shake just a little.

Like a hammer, Naruto nailed that beautiful, tough bitch to the wall. He fucked her hard and without restraint, giving her a feel of his full strength.

Madara, at the same time, was bent over on all fours, mewling and whimpering as Naruto's shadow clone violently plundered her bountiful booty with a sword of flesh great enough to rival one of steel. Her considerable breasts swung back and forth like pendulums with the rocking of her body. Her curves jiggled, was the best way to put it, as the shadow clone fucked her with all the dominating ferocity and power of a bull in rut.

"Oh, yes!" Madara moaned, ripples of pleasure and kinetic energy alike making her lascivious figure act like a gelatin sculpture, wiggling and wobbling as she whimpered and mewled. "Yes! Yes!" she repeated, gasping and panting, chest heaving delightfully as the horny shadow clone jackhammer-ed her. "Grind me!" she wailed. "Grind me into dust with that marvelous cock! Oh, God! YES!"

The shadow clone grunted as it thrust back and forth frenetically inside of her. There was a grin on its face, though, and it leered down at this woman playfully.

"Hehe, and here I don't even know your name," it said, pumping inside her body like a marathon runner's heart.

"Mari!" replied Madara without a second's hesitation, supplying a fake name for the clone. Except, a part of her was already taking to that name, and wanting to make it her one and only identity. "Mari Uchi—!" —_ha_, she tried to say, but her words were cut off as a sudden, loud cry bubbled up from her throat, her body shuddering in delight as she came unto the shadow clone._  
_

The clone grinned, seeing Mari melt into a puddle of orgasmic euphoria. Her face was red, and her tongue was lolling out of her mouth as she panted, squealing and whining in delight as it fucked her.

"That's a nice look for you, Mari-chan~!" said the shadow clone brightly, before casually redoubling its efforts.

Madara – now _Mari_ – let out a scream as the clone took her to heights of ecstasy of which she could never before have conceived, until now.

The original Naruto, meanwhile, was still thrusting the daunting full length and girth of his manhood into Obito, who was moaning and gushing nectar and tears, whimpering and wailing with unimaginable arousal as the blonde fulfilled these new desires she had never before known. Filling her up, in particular, which he did and then some, bumping her innermost depths with a nigh lackadaisical ease, Naruto made this girl feel things she had never before imagined could be possible.

He kissed this scarred beauty hungrily as he fucked her, stealing her breath while he gave her his meat. She moaned and she groaned as he made her his own, pounding her poon with a pen island cone – extra thick and doubly creamy.

"YESSSS!" she wailed, feeling herself come as Naruto slammed her ass against the side of some building on the side of the street, punching right through her allegedly lost heart with his kindness and prowess in life and the sack.

Naruto smiled, smelling the intensity of her sex, and feeling the heat and the wet of her magnificent womanhood.

"I'm glad you like it so much!" he said cheerfully, licking his lips as he took in her visage. "Hehe, we should totally get together again sometime, once we're finished!" he added, thrusting into her again, eliciting a gasp from the girl.

"Obi...!" she squealed, head rolling on her shoulders as Naruto picked up the pace. "Uchi...!" she yelped, scarcely able to think _or_ to speak as he fucked her.

Naruto laughed even as he pummeled her sex with his multiple gigaton penile warhead.

"Obi-chan, huh?" he said. "You must be Mari-chan's little sister!"

Obito, now cum _Obi_, did not refute or in any way dispute this claim. Whether this was because she thought it would be a good cover, or she just couldn't bring herself to care while Naruto was ravishing her, nobody can say for certain. Not even Obi herself.

All she would be able to remember, looking back later on, would be how _incredible_ Naruto had been, then and every inevitable time after.

Time flew quickly as Naruto and his shadow clone did Mari and Obi. Though it was not perhaps as long as an hour that they had sex with the pair (it was doubtful if the girls even had enough stamina for that) it was nonetheless certainly a nontrivial stretch, at least relatively. But they could not last forever, not against a lover like himself, and the girls were rendered unconscious after some tens of minutes of hardcore Uzumaki intercourse.

So naturally it was over when the girls passed out. The shadow clone dispelled, shooting a load into Mari (and interestingly speaking, a shadow clone's semen was as good as Naruto's own, and did not vanish when the shadow clone dispelled) and Obi went limp from exhaustion, smiling beatifically up at Naruto.

The blonde hummed to himself as he glanced between the two girls, wondering what he should do. On the one hand, the gathered crowd of civilian spectators could certainly be trusted to bring the girls home safe wherever they lived. On the other hand, though, Naruto was curious about these two very _unusual_ girls.

It wasn't mistrust, or doubt of their motives. He had sensed well enough that they'd been completely up front about what they wanted, and aside from that he was not even a particular mistrustful person to begin with.

But he was still curious. The rinnegan alone would be enough to warrant inquiry, and he had been able to feel out the chakra of these two girls.

They were strong. Strong as a kage, at _least_. Obi-chan was at least on par with Kagome-sensei, he could tell, yet he had felt also an incredibly potent chakra inside of her. It was hollow and frail, but it could not be mistaken for anything but what it was: _sage chakra_. And Mari-chan, too, had a crazy amount of chakra, and a body like wrought iron reinforced with damascus steel and a healthy outer layer of Version 2 kyuubi cloak.

So of course Naruto wanted to get to know them better. He was very interested in these two girls. Few people ever managed to intrigue him this much (at least without whipping out the fishnet or maid outfits...).

Which was, in the end, probably why Naruto decided to dress the girls back up, summon a toad, and ride with their unconscious bodies the rest of the way to his house. He could let them rest in one of the guest rooms, and have his mothers or the Cloud girls take care of them while he went off to his date.

"Thanks for the lift, Gamachu!" said Naruto, stepping off the toad with Mari and Obi swung over either one of his shoulders.

"No problem, boss," the summon replied dutifully, before promptly dispelling.

Walking through the smoke, Naruto pushed the front door open with his foot, walking casually into his house carrying the two Uchi babes. His family's place was pretty nice, by all accounts, and the blonde grinned a little looking at the swanky decor. It was stylish without being stuffy, and spacious without feeling empty.

"I'm home!" he called out cheerfully. Obi and Mari stirred a little, purring contentedly as the snuggled themselves up against his warm body while he carried them.

In a flash of yellow, his blonde mom Mina appeared. She was dressed in her shinobi clothes, breasts bound down to allow ease of movement. At her feet, a hirashin seal was cleverly woven into the pattern of the welcome mat.

"Hi, dear," she said warmly, eyes glittering as she beheld her son. "Who are your friends?" she asked him, smiling at the two lovely ladies slung over his shoulders as though this kind of thing happened every day.

And, honestly, it more or less _did_.

"Obi and Mari Uchi," said Naruto cheerfully. "I met 'em on the way home."

Mina laughed. "My, but you were busy today!" she said. "First those girls from Kumo, and now these two? Oho, Kushina will be delighted to hear that you've started to take your role as clan head seriously!" she clapped her hands together, smiling lustily at the two girls in a way that made it all too clear just what she meant.

Naruto blushed. "Ah!" he stammered, "N-no, it's not like that... with these two at least... I just thought I'd bring them over since they conked out after doing it."

Mina smiled and shook her head.

"Oh, how sad your mother will be!" she said mostly jokingly. "She was really hoping you gather yourself an amount of chattel properly befitting the next Hokage_and_ Uzumaki Clan headsman. She was even talking about taking you down to the market tonight..."

"Er," Naruto's ears were bright pink, knowing exactly what kind of _market_ his mom was referring to. "Well, I kinda have a date with Sasuki-chan tonight..."

Mina perked up at this. "Really?" she said. "Ooh, how sweet! You _must_ tell me all about it when you get home!"

"Well, um... it's not for another hour, yet..." said Naruto sheepishly. "And besides that, it's... ah, not exactly a _going out on a walk_ sort of date, if you know what I mean."

Mina smiled wolfishly, leaning forward a planting a hand on her son's behind.

"Oh, I know _exactly_ what you mean," she said huskily.

Naruto squeaked.

* * *

A/N: So I read all the way up to chapter 653 of the Naruto manga, officially catching myself up. And, you know? It actually felt a little surreal when I saw them yank the bijuu out of Tobi. Not just because it was awesome, of course (and if that moment in the anime isn't accompanied by _some_ version of the original Naruto main theme I will be INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINT) but rather because _holy fuck the fight is actually over?!_

So weird. XD

Of course, Madara is still kicking, and Lord only knows what's going on with Kabuto in his little time loop, but seriously: the whole overarching Akatsuki plot is pretty much reaching its final resolution. There are still loose ends to wrap up, of course, and info to be dumped and relationships fleshed out, but with the defeat of Obito I think we can truly, finally say that the manga is nearing its end.

The story arc of the manga feels likes it's come nearly full circle, now. The callbacks to the earliest parts of the series made me so happy: Naruto's nindo, Haku and the precious people, and _There is no shortcut to Hokage._

I honestly got a bit of a shiver down my spine when I read that. Full circle, man. Full. Fucking. Circle. This arc, I'd say, is pretty much the climax of the whole damn series. After this, I imagine, it's pretty much all denouement from here on out. There might be one or two more story arcs, I suppose, but unless someone highjacks the Juubi there's just no conceivable way Kishi could create a point of action even _beyond_ this. This fight was built up to for hundreds of chapters, and there is really any practical way to escalate it martially without maybe bringing back the Sage of Six Paths himself.

...Now watch as Kishimoto does precisely that. XD

**Updated:** 11-5-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	7. Sisters, Doing it for Themselves!

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_i am utterly without shame_)

* * *

It was with no small amount of trepidation that Naruto twisted his body out of his mother's grip, smiling shamefacedly at her as he ducked aside and cantered down the hall. The softly, sleepily mumbling forms of Obi and Mari dangling over his shoulders and bouncing (in more than one way) as he went.

Mina smiled at her son's retreating back, laughing quietly to herself.

"Mm. What a nice ass," she observed, licking her lips while leering after her son's trouser-clad posterior. "He definitely gets _that_ from Kushina."

Naruto, meanwhile, headed on down the hallway in search of the guestroom. It was, by some odd quirk of design, one of the furthest rooms from the entrance, being at the far end of one of the entry hallway's branches. He did not walk with any particular hurry after that initial spurt, and he neared the destination after about a minute of walking.

He heard the moans well before that.

"Ohhh, Mistress Kushina...! Yes! Fuck, yes! _Yes!_"

"Break me! Break me, please, Madame!"

"I'm dying! Oh, _fuck!_ This feels too good! Ahhn❤!"

Naruto's cheeks blossomed with a rosy tint, a ruddy bloom that glowed from out his face. Even without hearing the mention of his other mom's name, or recognizing the voices, his sensory abilities alone made it quite clear what he was going on there.

His mom, Kushina could be very old fashioned, sometimes. The Uzumaki were a very old clan of great power and wealth going far back. For centuries, they had oft taken enemies alive in battle, and indoctrinated them as slaves. It had been a very widespread practice among many clans, of course, but the Uzumaki and their seals had perfected it into an art form. So called "war wives" were numerous among the most affluent and powerful Uzumaki, and some old accounts spoke of some clan grandmasters taking more than a hundred enemy shinobi captive over the course of their lives.

Naruto had always been a little skeptical of those sorts of numbers, and despite everything else had never exactly been of the disposition to enslave captured enemies. Certainly, a few had offered themselves to him in the past, perhaps feeling that life in servitude would be better than death or punishment at the hands of the mistresses, but until today he had never done so.

Part of him wondered almost why he had decided to do it _now_, of all times.

That part was quickly and ruthlessly silenced.

Still, Naruto walked past the room stealthily, where his mom Kushina was evidently trying out Samui and Karui and Omoi. Probably this was as much to assert a position of dominance as it was to get herself off on their nubile bodies.

Feeling a little embarrassingly hard at that thought, Naruto finally made it to the guest room. He slid the door open easily enough with his foot (it was one of those old fashioned sliding _shoji_ deals), and carried Obi and Mari over to the bed. He laid them down on top of it, pulling down the covers.

After a moment of thought, he leaned down over the girls and took a cursory whiff of their clothes.

He immediately blanched, recoiling and shuddering.

"Ugh," Naruto muttered. "Yeah, okay. Those totally need a wash."

Proceeding with a kind of swiftness both inherited from his mother Mina and honed through his training under Miraiya (occasionally literally, when she felt like topping), Naruto's hands blurred through the air. Fingers instinctively sought out strategic straps, ties, buckles, and buttons to deftly undo; hands masterfully slipped garments off of womanly frames without disturbing their rest.

Faster than even most sharingan could follow, Naruto had undressed the pair and thrown their dirty clothes into a conveniently placed laundry basket. Before having them taken away to be washed, though, he did pause to check if the closet had anything for the two lovely ladies to wear in case they awoke before their clothes were finished washing. A quick inspection of the closet revealed that, aside from a pair of matching french maid outfits, it was well equipped with several fine kimono and yukata in various sizes and colors.

That would do, he decided. Making a cross-seal with the first two fingers of both hands, Naruto brought another shadow clone into existence.

"Take care of their laundry, will you?" he said to his ninjutsu doppelganger. "And don't try to swipe their panties, you creep!" he added warningly, recalling what had happened the _last_ time he'd let a shadow clone do a guest's laundry (not that they'd _minded_, but it was the principle of the matter, or so he insisted).

"Tch." The clone gave its creator the stink eye. "Fine. Whatever, _boss_."

Naruto gave the kage bunshin a swat on the back of the head, light enough to not dispel it, but still plenty hard enough to smart.

"Just do your job," he told it irritably. His clones could be so _annoying_ about having to do this sort of boring, menial work.

"Can I at least cop a feel offa one of them?" the clone said, eyeing Obi and Mari lying under the covers. "Give myself one happy moment before I have to burst?"

Naruto scowled.

"Only _after_ you do the laundry," he told it. Then, not waiting for the shadow clone to get another word in edgewise, he waltzed out of the room and back down the entry hall. He had just enough time to change clothes before his date.

Enjoying the moans coming from his mom and the Kumo trio as he once more passed the place where they were sequestered, Naruto made his way to his own room, walking more briskly now.

...briskly for himself, at least. Which, for most other people, would be considered closer to _sprinting_.

Just to really emphasize, again, how FAST he was.

The walk to his room was short, and it only took Naruto a few seconds to put on cleaner clothes (not that they would be staying on _long_ where he was going) and freshen up with a light application of deodorant. Then he headed back out, dressed in a pair of clothes virtually identical to what he had been wearing when he came in, walking down the hall to the entrance.

"Oh! Hello, dear!" came his mother, Mina's, singsong voice as she body flickered purposefully into him from behind, pressing her restrained bosom against one of her son's arms. "You heading out for your date with sweet little Sasuki-chan~?"

Naruto nodded, blushing a little from the feeling of his mom's breasts pressing against his arm, which he could feel even through her flak vest. Deciding to retaliate, he raised his hand to her cheek, tickling it. Mina giggled, cheeks pinkening.

"Yeah," he told his mom, feeling a bit of hardness grow in his groin as she pressed herself so cruelly against him. "I'll probably be out all night, too. Can you take care of those Uchi sisters while I'm gone? I have a shadow clone doing their laundry, but if they need anything when they wake up..."

A vulpine smile curved Mina's soft, full lips. Her cerulean eyes twinkled in a matter most like her son.

"Yes, I will take _very_ good care of them," she said. "But don't worry about me, dear! Go out, and be sure to have plenty of _fun_ with Sasuki-chan~" she sang suggestively, winking at her son. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then, and if that kiss contained significantly more _tongue_ than would be strictly appropriate for a mother-son kiss...

...well, I'm certain it would hardly surprise you, by this point.

Naruto chuckled as he waved goodbye.

"Don't worry!" he said. "I will!"

With that, he rushed eagerly out the door.

And, again, Mina eyed her son's swiftly departing posterior with an appreciative wolf whistle.

* * *

In the home of the Uchiha clan head, Fugako Uchiha's second daughter patiently awaited her date. Sasuki was dressed in a sheer, semitransparent, low-at-the-chest-and-high-at-the-thighs cut nightgown. Her nipples were faintly visible through the cloth, if you looked from the angle. She lay suggestively across her bed, striking a sensually brooding pose as she awaited her lover's arrival.

Across from Sasuki, seated in a chair and dressed in nothing at all, was her older sister Itami. The ANBU captain and Uchiha prodigy was concealed under a heavy genjutsu, one through which Sasuki could see with her sharingan, but which Naruto would be unable to detect.

The older girl had an interest in the blonde (for which Sasuki could scarcely blame her) and had more than once sat in on Naruto and Sasuki's "dates" recording the whole affair for posterity with her considerable visual prowess. She enjoyed the voyeurism on her end, of course, and certainly Sasuki had lots of fun with the secret exhibitionism from her end, but that was not their _only_ motivation for doing this.

It was the majority reason, to be sure, and was very enjoyable for all involved, but there were certain fringe benefits, too. Replays of Sasuki and Naruto's bedroom encounters, shown to paying customers in the form of a relatively simple but effective genjutsu, were a hot commodity in the Uchiha underground, and one of their aunts had even been working on a way to convert these genjutsu into physical, written seals that, when fed a bit of chakra, could replay the recordings countless times over.

Strictly speaking, it was not the most altruistic of motives, but money was money. And they _were_ very fond of Naruto, so it wasn't as though they were _using him_, or anything. Not _really_.

But, digressing from that tangent, Sasuki awaited Naruto's arrival. She had been laying here like this for a few minutes, now, getting into position a little bit before the appointed time for this tryst. She was getting a tad wet already from anticipation, along with the slight jitters of antsiness that were starting to dance through her limbs, but she knew it wouldn't be long, now.

She eyed the _hiraishin_ seal engraved into the hardwood floor beside her bed.

The Yellow Flash was _not_, contrary to what many believed, the only person alive able to use that jutsu. Aside from her former bodyguards, there was one other.

Her son.

Naruto appeared before Sasuki's bed. His arrival was heralded by naught but a flash of color as he materialized there, and a slight sound from the sudden displacement of air.

"Hey, good lookin'," the blond remarked, looking down at Sasuki's body (which, for how little was actually concealed by her nightgown, might as well have been naked) with an appreciative grin. "What's cookin'?"

"Your _ass_, if you don't hurry up and strip," replied Sasuki, smoldering lust making her impatient for the main course.

Naruto smirked at her, and with a quick ram seal, his clothes vanished in a puff of smoke. A small storage formula glowed briefly below his collarbone, before fading into his skin. Hard, sculpted muscles rippled enticingly beneath his ruddy, bronzed dermis. The seal containing the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, Kumiko, was visible on Naruto's belly, the center-most of the lower spokes of the trigram seal's outer shell vanishing into the thick, golden forest that crowned a dually intimidating and intriguing mass of throbbing manflesh roughly twenty centimeters in length and three centimeters in girth.

Sasuki delicately quirked a single slim black eyebrow, her attention focused as much on the storage seal as on Naruto's frankly _delicious_ body.

"That's a new trick," she observed.

"Just worked out the final kinks of it yesterday," Naruto replied. "You like?" He raised his arms and flexed them. They were far from massive, but still the muscle on them was nothing to sneeze at.

Sasuki licked her lips, purring appreciatively. "_Very much so._"

She lowered her hands to slip up the front of her nightgown, then, only to find nothing there.

"Oh, yeah," Naruto said a little sheepishly. "I kinda seals away _all_ clothes inside its area of effect. That was the best I could do."

Sasuki blushed, but she did not particularly protest this development.

"Even _better_," she purred lustily, smiling up at Naruto and batting her eyelashes seductively. Her eyes twinkled as she spread her legs, giving the blonde an open approach to her cave of delights.

Naruto got down on top of her, kissing his teammate and rival hungrily, passionately. She moaned into his lips, arching her back as his hands grabbed her hips and pinned them still to give himself a clear shot. The blonde pressed himself into her, plunging his hardness inside of Sasuki's soaking fun house.

Itami moaned quietly, getting aroused as she watched Naruto get jiggy with her sister. Her eyes devoured the sight of his firmly, bobbing ass as the blond thrust himself back and forth, rocking his hips against Sasuki's. He had the body of a bronze god, that Naruto did, and even the famously stoic Itami could not help but melt a little bit every time she saw him in all his naked glory.

Licking her lips, the genius ANBU captain started to masturbate to the spectacle of Naruto and her sister doing it. In spite of herself, every time they did this, Itami found her barriers breaking down so quickly. It was frightening, how much she found herself desiring the blond's touch every time they did this.

Usually, Itami only spread 'em for her cousin Shimizu, whom she so greatly loved and admired, and her mother. That mistress of the _shunshin_ was the only woman Itami desired as a lover, and she could never, of course, say no to her _mom_.

...of course, Naruto _wasn't_ a woman, was he?

Itami blushed a little, in spite of herself, and she shivered, plunging fingers desperately into an aching, hungering womanhood. She moaned piteously, wriggling and writhing in her seat as she diddled herself dutifully, never once taking her eyes off of the scene in front of her.

Naruto grinned foxily, grunting briefly as he came into Sasuki, whose juices soaked his thighs. "Enjoying the show, Itacchan?"

Itami let out a most undignified squeak. He had seen through the illusion? How...?

"Did you forget?" he said, speaking almost as though he could read her mind. He was bucking his hips and shaking his ass, too, presumably solely for the ANBU captain's viewing pleasure. "I'm a sensor. The best in the world, probably. I knew about all of this from the get go."

Sasuki whimpered, looking rather shamefaced. Naruto just grinned at her, though.

"Haha! Don't act so scared!" he told her. "What, do you think I'm _mad_ at you girls, or something?"

Itami discarded her illusory concealment, realizing now that it was completely pointless. "_Aren't_ you?"

The blond laughed.

"Of course not!" Naruto said. "What'd make you think that? No, I think it's hot. I like having an audience, you know?" He grinned over his shoulder at Itami, waggling his eyebrows at her. "Now, why don't you come over here, sweet cheeks, and let me give you something to shoot sales through the _roof?_"

Blushing, but also highly aroused and still a little ashamed, Itami readily did exactly as Naruto asked.

"Hehe... Here," said Naruto, pulling out of Sasuki, who honestly pouted at being interrupted like this. "This should triple your sales, at least, once the word gets out..." He held his erect, throbbing cock in his hands.

The enormous phallus glistened with the slick sheen of Sasuki's vaginal lubricants, as well as a mixture of her and Naruto's ejaculate, and Itami's mouth watered at the sight of it. Naruto's penis was so close she could _smell_ it, and it had one of the most gloriously arousing musks she could have ever imagined.

Itami knew immediately what Naruto wanted her to do. And she was eager to do it, soaking wet just at the thought of it.

Keeping her sharingan active the whole time, the Uchiha prodigy slowly went down on Naruto, being sure to burn every smallest detail of his cock into her memory as she took it into her mouth. Though only a third of the full length could fit in there without choking her, Itami nonetheless made the best of it.

She sucked Naruto off eagerly, and she traced every inch of his gorgeous body with her eyes as she did so. She tasted Naruto's beefiest ramen, moaning in ecstasy from the flavor and from getting to service him with her own mouth. Itami had deeply envied Sasuki for a while now, though she repressed it well, who could get a piece of this blond stud any time she wanted, but now that she had him to herself, she was making sure to get her proverbial money's worth.

Using nothing more than her lips and her tongue, Itami eagerly sucked Naruto all but dry over the course of twenty glorious minutes. At the end of it she felt bloated and overfull, but the lingering taste was like heaven in her mouth. And then Sasuki shoved her bodily aside, and proceeded to do the exact same thing for just as long.

They spent the rest of the night alternating as they had wonderful, incredible, mind blowing sex with Naruto Uzumaki.

It tasted like miso.

* * *

A/N: Another day, another chapter. Still have this fucking cold or some shit, and it's really pissing me off because _gah_ it hurts so bad if I am not keeping myself on a steady regiment of ibuprofen and junk.

In other news, the name _Shimizu_, was pretty lazy because all I did was change the _sui_ reading of the "water" in Shisui's name into the alternate reading _mizu_. Dunno if that's even technically valid by Japanese naming conventions, but then I've been playing pretty fast and loose with that from the get go...

**Updated: **11-7-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	8. Naked Master

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_title a spoof of "drunken master"_)

* * *

When Naruto woke up the next morning, it was to an influx of foreign memories. Foreign, at least, in the sense that they belonged to one of his kage bunshin.

In particular, it was the shadow clone he'd left back at his place to take care of Obi and Mari's laundry. It must have only recently dispelled itself, too, judging by how fresh the memories were in his mind. It was a little difficult for most to sort through several hours' worth of experience all at once, but Naruto had plenty of experience in that field.

Even with the warm, curvy bodies of Sasuki and Itami pressing into him, slender arms draped over his modestly ripped frame, the blond was easily able to discern everything the clone had done in his absence.

_Laundry was fucking boring._ He had several memories of silently swearing at himself and wishing himself a painful, messy death. This would have been sufficiently surreal to weird out most folk, but Naruto was used to this kind of thing. His shadow clones could be a very belligerent and petty lot, being made from the same mold as Naruto himself.

But aside from the laundry, the clone had also taken the liberty of helping Kushina with the love slaves – Naruto got hard, recalling how aggressively sensual Karui and Samui had been in their fight over the right to suck his cock, the redhead slapping Samui's lewdly generous tits and the blonde giving Karui what could only be describe as a _cunt punt_.

The debate had eventually been rendered moot, he recalled, when Mina abruptly barged in with her hiraishin and proceeded to greedily guzzle down his man-milk. Naruto knew from experience that the ladies seemed to get downright _addicted_ to his wild and wet oats.

After that, the clone it seemed had then gone in and copped some very rude feels off of Obi and Mari, spanking them a little bit in their sleep, solely for shits and giggles.

At least it hadn't pulled a Shinji and jerked off all over them. His shadow clones seemed to have a real problem with impulse control. Which was crazy, because Naruto was the most sensible, restrained, self-disciplined person in the world.

Lazily sticking a thumb up Itami and Sasuki's asses, Naruto lifted the two sleepily moaning girls off of him and got up out of the bed. Then he smacked them sharply across their asses (leaving a note on either of their buttocks that said _Same time next week?_) and waltzed boldly out of the room naked as the day he was born. Leaving through the kitchen, he paused just long enough to give an early bird Mikoto a thorough quickie on the dinner table, before walking all the way to the other side of the village, where his house was.

Again, Naruto was stark naked, and he did not hesitate to show off his bone for anyone who happened to be up at that wee hour of half past nine in the morning. In particular, he happened to come (in both senses of the word) upon Tenten and Shiho, from the Cryptanalysis Department, in the middle of a heated, em, _training session_. The former blithely offered to meet up with him for "lunch" at Ichiraku Ramen, while the latter blushed and promptly begged him not to tell Shikamari of her indiscretion.

Naruto, purposely neglecting to mention the fact that the Nara genius was quite obviously involved with Temari from Suna, agreed to keep her secret. Shiho, of course, was so grateful that she immediately offered to give him anything he wanted.

"Even your ass?" Naruto had inquired crassly, feeling quite randy this fine morning.

Shiho, beet red, had anxiously replied, "_Especially_ my ass!" at a volume he guessed to be several decibel levels above what she had intended.

"Meet me at my place, then," he said with a wink. "Tonight, if you mean it!"

Shiho had nodded, blushing, and Naruto had turned and resumed his trek home. Aside from that encounter, Naruto also got three offers of oral sex while going down main street, eight declarations of undying love, and twenty-three propositions of baby-making from assorted comely village lasses. The first, he accepted on the spot, the second he wrote down in his Big Black Book of Love Confessions, and the last he made a mental note to finagle into his schedule.

But eventually, Naruto got home, and Suzume-sensei (from the Academy) wiped her lips, thanking him for the "meal" and pressing a small bundle of crisp five ryou bills into his hand.

Some might have considered that a little suspect, but Naruto controlled the only source of male sex in the world, and demand for his supply was consistently sky-high. He didn't actually _charge_ people for the opportunity to have sex with him, but some time after the approximately five hundred and twelfth time of refusing an offer of payment for his services he finally caved and began just accepting whatever people gave him.

Besides, it wasn't even too far removed from the rather mercenary shinobi mindset, anyways. That's what Sasuki and Sakura kept telling him at any rate, and both took quite eagerly to the informal role of _Madame_ to his _escort_.

But that aside, Naruto walked into his house, cheerfully naked and whistling a jaunty tune. He was promptly greeted by two simultaneous, cheerful, girlish proclamations of: "Welcome home, Naru-sama!"

The two Uchi sisters, whom Naruto had brought back to his place last night after a vigorous session in the middle of the street, were standing before him with bright smiles on their faces.

The two lovely lasses were dress in the skimpy black silk and white lace of matching french maid outfits – which Naruto knew his parents to use for roleplay in the bedroom whenever things started to get a little stale. To be clear, these were not actual maid outfits – at the most generous, they could be called maid-themed lingerie, being scarcely more than a partially transparent boob-window apron over a short, frilly miniskirt so small that it was closer in surface area to a handtowel than any kind of modest attire.

Mari, the more buxom one, appeared a perfect fit for Mina's outfit, which said a _lot_ about her bust size, since the Yellow Flash was second pretty much only to Tsunade and Fugako in terms of boobage. And Obi, logically, was thus wearing Kushina's.

A slight breeze from the open door stirred the criminally short skirts of these french maid outfits. Naruto caught a flash of naked, pink flesh, and a neatly shaven snatch. This was interesting not only because it meant that neither girl was wearing underwear, but also because Naruto _distinctly_ recalled them being quite shaggy yesterday.

For a moment, the blond was caught off guard by the appearance of these two like this. But to his credit as a pupil of Miraiya, it was _only_ for a moment.

"Hey there, ladies!" he greeted the two sisters casually with a wink and a peck on the cheek each. "Looking good!"

Mari giggled, cheeks bright pink. She leaned forward and grabbed hold of one of Naruto's arms, pressing her scarcely restrained breasts up against it. "Thank you, Naru-sama," she said with a ditzy titter. "These are, like, _soooo_ comfortable."

Obi nodded, moving in and mirroring Mari's motions on the other side of Naruto, pressing her cleavage against his arm, enveloping it a little bit in the valley of her breasts. "When we woke up, Kushina-chan and Mina-chan said it was okay for us to wear these. Wasn't that, like, so nice of them?"

"I know, right?" tittered Mari.

"Yeah," agreed Obi brightly. "Oh, and by the way, Naru-sama!" she said, remembering something. "Thanks for last night. We _really_ enjoyed it."

Mari purred, a borderline orgasmic expression of bliss on her face. "Oooh, yes. That was _sooo_ much fun."

Naruto chuckled, seeing how grateful (and half naked) the girls were. He let them guide him inside, leading him by his arms into the living room, where the couch was. He sat down, and Obi and Mari immediately cuddled up to him in a manner that was at once both adorable and erotic.

"No problem," he said to the two, smiling down at them. "I'm glad to give you what you want!"

The two sisters immediately glanced down at his cock, which was quite erect from the walk home, and the proximity of these two sexy ladies. Then they looked back up at him, and their orbs gleamed with unadulterated adoration.

"You girls have beautiful eyes," he commented, his smile warm and his compliment sincere. "Especially you, Obi-chan. Where did you get them?" He brushed Obi on the cheek with a finger, watching as she blushed bright pink.

"I... I..." Obi stammered, getting lost in Naruto soulful blue lamps. His gaze held her attention firmly on him, and all the world seemed to melt away. "I guess... I don't really remember. Everything before meeting you on the street... It's all kind of, like, a blur. You know? All I remember is my name. When Kushina-chan woke us up this morning... well, we just found that we couldn't remember anything but our names. Our names, that is, and _you_."

Naruto's eyes widened, and he whipped his head around to look at Mari. She seemed to be giving off a visible gloom, her face downcast.

"Is that true, Mari-chan...?" he asked her.

"Y-yes," she said quietly, anxiously. "All we remember are our names and the night we had with you. Everything else is... kind of just _gone_. Your moms felt so sorry for us when we told them..."

Obi nodded. "Kushina-chan even decided that we can stay here until we recover. She even gave us a job as your personal maids." She blushed, then looked away. "If... that's okay with you, Naru-sama...? I mean, if you don't want us, then I understand..."

If there was one thing Naruto couldn't stand to see, it was someone getting sad. Whenever he saw someone who looked like they were about to cry, he always felt compelled to try and cheer them up. It was maybe his one true weakness, and whether or not they were doing this intentionally, Obi and Mari had successfully got him in the one way he could never say no, even if he wanted to.

"Ah! N-no, that's okay...!" he exclaimed nervously. "Don't worry, Obi-chan, Mari-chan! I'd be _glad_ to have you girls as my maids."

The two sisters instantly perked up. Mari hugged him tightly, and Obi kissed him.

"Oh, _thank you!_" they said. "We'll be the best maids you could ever ask for. We'll wait you hand and mouth, Master."

"Don't you mean hand and _foot?_"

"Not unless you're into that," said Mari, smiling up at him suggestively. She placed a hand on Naruto's lap, her fingers curling teasingly around his erect shaft. Obi, at the same time, leaned in and started to kiss his chest.

"Oh. _Oh!_" said Naruto, and he got a grin on his face as he realized _exactly_ what they meant, and how much they meant it. He placed a hand on Obi's posterior, coyly flipping up the back of her frilly micro-miniskirt to fondle her finely toned buttocks. His other hand, meanwhile, found its way down Mari's apron, where it proceeded to tease and squeeze her generous teats.

The girls moaned euphorically under the ministrations of Naruto's magic fingers, Mari squeezing his dick tight as she bucked her hip,s and Obi biting down on one of his nipples, soaking wet and burning up down under. Naruto came with a delighted groan, a shiver running up his back from the base of his spine. His seed splattered Mari's hand, and much of it landed on the floor in front of the couch.

"Whoops, looks like you girls made a mess," remarked Naruto cheerfully, smiling mischievously at the pair of sisters. "One of you should probably clean that up."

Obi, blushing, nodded in understanding and got down on the floor. She crawled on all fours to the soiled spot of polished hardwood, her skirt hiding _nothing_ as she wiggled her hips for her master's amusement. She was soaking wet just thinking about how the blond was no doubt leering so hungrily at her naked nether regions, and even as a sponge appeared in her hands, sorta _swirling_ into existence the moment she thought about it, Obi took one hand to her toy box and started to masturbate.

Something about dressing up like a maid, intentionally degrading herself like this, was just getting her so hot and bothered. She moaned, twiddling her aching privates as she started sponging up her master's spunk.

Then she felt the hands on her hips, fingers spreading her buttocks, and the huge, hard, throbbing mass poised against the rim of her anus. She came all over her fingers, squeezing the sponge in her hands so hard that a good deal of the wiped-up spooge was promptly squeezed right back out all over the floor.

"N-Naru-sama...!" she gasped, feeling his erection press against her backdoor. "Ahn! It feels...!" She trailed off, whimpering and mewling piteously as he began inching his length inside of her. "Oh. Oh! _OHHH!_" she screamed, her eyes widening as more and more of her master's cock slip into her asshole.

It felt so warm and tingly, where he penetrated her, nothing like the pain she would have expected from anal sex. If anything, a sense of vigor and health seemed to spread through her body, emanating straight from her stuffed-full rectum.

"Wha...What is this feeling...?" she moaned, eyes rolling up the back of her head. An intoxicating warmth spread through her body, and she felt like she was going boneless, like every cell in her body was caught in a state of continuous, never-ending orgasm and she had never realized it until right this moment. "I feel... so..._GOOD!_" she came again, and again, her frame shaking and shuddering, and jiggling in all the right places.

Naruto smiled down at Obi, his naked body encased in the flaming, gilded radiance of his kyuubi chakra mode. The pure Yang chakra coursing through his body was being injected into Obi like a vaccine against every conceivable ill or woe. Life energy flooded every cell of her squirming, nubile body in the form of absolute carnal ecstasy.

It was kind of cheap for him to use Kumiko's chakra in sex like this, since it just made it so easy to pleasure his partner beyond anything they could ever imagine without even trying, but he felt sorry for Obi and Mina, he really did. Some small part of Naruto, perhaps, blamed _himself_ for the sisters' loss of memory, since they had seemed perfectly fine before their tryst yesterday. So maybe this was his way of making it up to them: by giving them the greatest sex in the history of sex.

Back on the couch, Mari was wailing ecstatically was a similarly Yang chakra-cloaked shadow clone plowed her pussy, driving its empowered shaft back and forth inside of her most sensitive place as it attentively kissed and fondled her bosom. The top of her scanty french maid apron/brassiere flopped uselessly between their bodies, the upper loop having been slipped off over her head.

After a few minutes of this, Naruto and his clones relented. Obi and Mari were not tired out by the mindblowing sex – if anything they felt more energetic than ever before – and they immediately got to work cheerfully cleaning up the mess of bodily fluids that had been spread all over during the brief but intense twin lovemaking sessions.

Naruto smiled at the two.

"Well, I'll leave you girls to your work," he said brightly, winking. The two new amnesiac maids tittered and blushed girlishly.

"Of course, Naru-sama," they said, bowing low, giving him a goodly glimpse of their fine, fine cleavage. And with that taken care of, Naruto went further inside (still nude, of course).

* * *

A/N: I really like the idea of Naruto (or any male MC in something like this) going everywhere naked just because _why the fuck not_. XD

This is probably an insight into the kind of horrendously filthy imagination behind this stuff, as well as the utterly irreverent sense of humor. And, yes, Naruto purposely walked all the way home naked when he could have just used hiraishin to insta-port there (or anywhere else). When you can do something like that without getting in trouble, being bothered by inclement weather, or feeling emasculated, then why the hell wouldn't you? :P

Also, I imagine that KCM would be a _total_ cheat mode in bed with that crazy potent Yang chakra. Like, one touch and, VOILA: _instant orgasm_.

Because this is your brain on crack(fic). XP

**Updated: **11-9-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	9. The Objective Unreality of Originality

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_the focus actually shifts away from naruto?!_)

* * *

With the matter of Obi and Mari taken care of, Naruto headed further inside, looking for his mothers. His footfalls echoed softly through the hall, his bare feet flapping on the hardwood floor. His semi-flaccid member swayed to and fro with every step, like an elephant's trunk.

"I wonder where they are?" he murmured quietly to himself, scanning his eyes left and right down the modestly adorned hallways of his family's house.

Even as he said this, he heard a soft thump of feet behind him.

"Wonder where _who_ are?" Mina asked her son playfully, a sensual spark in her eyes.

Naruto gave a start. Then he turned to face his blonde mother, and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck in a rather intimate embrace. He smiled at her, and gave Mina a peck on the cheek.

"I was looking for you and mom, actually," he remarked. "But I guess one out of two isn't bad."

Mina giggled, and she gave Naruto a kiss on the cheek in return.

"Well, Kushina took those Cloud girls out. She said they would be perfect material..."

Naruto sweatdropped at that.

"Ah. You don't mean she's going to have them work at that strip joint she manages, do you?" he said in a bit of deadpan voice.

Mina sighed wistfully. "Yeah, she really broke them in good," she said. "They were calling her Madame Kushina and everything."

Naruto shook his head. "No wonder she's always nagging me to take concubines and junk..." he drawled. "It's a little scary she could have broken them so quick, though..."

"I know, right?" said Mina, though she sounded far more amused than disconcerted. "She has a real gift for that sort of thing. I think it might be a secret Uzumaki kekkei genkai or something!"

Naruto chuckled. "That would be a heckuva bloodline limit, wouldn't it?" he mused wryly, snickering a little at the thought of it. "A real scary sort of power."

"I think it's hot," Mina supplied, giving her son a kiss on the other cheek. Then she pulled her arms off of him, and stood up straight. "Well, I'd love to stay and talk, dear, but I have to go."

"You got a mission?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, Lady Tsunade delivered it personally just before you got home."

Naruto pouted theatrically. "Aw, damn. I missed getting to see Granny up and out of the tower? She hardly ever takes that ass of hers off of the Hokage's chair."

Mina laughed. "That's because she knows you'll take it for your own, if she does!"

"The chair or her ass?" Naruto asked with a wide grin.

"_Both_," said Mina, winking.

Naruto guffawed. "True!" he declared. "I totally would." He shook his head, grinning a little pervertedly at the thought. "So?" he said. "What's your mission, ma?"

"Oh, I'm going to Suna with a small four woman team," she answered cheerfully. "We're supposed to meet up with the Lady Kazekage and her bodyguards and escort them here, to the Leaf."

Naruto's eyes sparked delightedly. "Oooh! So Gaara-chan and her sisters are coming here?" he said, snickering. "Niiice. Been a while since I've had some one-on-one time with another jinchuuriki," he remarked.

Mina giggled. "Oh, _you!_" she said teasingly. "What am I going to do with you? Having such a pervert for a son...❤"

Naruto chortled, giving his mom a playful smack on the rear. He winked at her, too.

"You know you love it," he said.

Mina tittered. "Too true! I wouldn't have you any other way."

She gave him one last kiss, this time straight on the lips. There was a good deal of tongue involved, and her hands wandered gladly up and down her son's naked frame for a few minutes. She pressed herself tightly against him, feeling his hardness pressing hungrily against her abdomen.

Then she pulled back, just as Naruto's arousal was beginning to peak. A glimmering trail of saliva was the last thing connecting their lips as Mina pulled away, a sultry smile on her face.

"Well, I should be going," she said. "I've already informed Kushina, so she knows I'll be away for a few days."

Naruto nodded, a little dazed and horny from the incredible smooch. "Yeah..." he murmured. "See ya later, mom... I'll miss you while you're gone."

Mina smiled. "The same here, son."

She then turned and headed out the door.

"Bye, Mina-chan!" Naruto heard Obi and Mari call out from behind him. They must have finished cleaning up already. Pretty impressive. He'd have to give them a considerable bonus if they kept up this kind of work ethic. "Have a nice trip!"

"I will!" Mina hollered back, just a step out the door. "Please take care of that sexy, incorrigible son of mine while I'm away!"

The two villains-cum-maids tittered and beamed.

"Oh, we will!" they promised warmly, even as the door slammed shut behind Mina. "We'll take _very_ good care of Naru-sama."

Naruto heard the pair giggle pervertedly as he made his own way to his room.

* * *

It was a quick use of the Flying Thunder God Jutsu, one of the _many_ techniques invented by the inimitable Second Hokage, for the retired Yondaime and Yellow Flash to reach the great village gate. A massive structure raised in times of war and mistrust, the gate was technically the weakest point in the massive, all but impenetrable walls which encircled _Konohagakure no sato_.

_Technically._

In practice, however, the gates of the Hidden Leaf as much a fastness as any other section of the village's considerable defenses. Seals integrated into the very grain of the wood made it as hard as steel, and when the gates latched shut they completed a chakra circuit which sealed them as fast as if they were merely but a gate's _likeness_, hewn masterfully into a great timber monolith.

Mina Namikaze smiled, seeing the sight of those great gates held wide open. She was not old by any stretch of the imagination, yet still she could remember how in her youth such a sight would be considered a sign of impending disaster. The world was peaceful now, or at least as much so as it had ever been in human history, and the gates were closed only at the dead hours of night, when no merchants or ambassadors would be expected to come.

Just outside the village walls, she knew, were a number of inns and other..._establishments_... for the rest and refreshment of weary travelers, many boasting prices far cheaper than were to be had inside the Leaf proper. Though land was hardly at a premium within the walls, without them it was largely unsettled and effectively unclaimed. Most clans and businesses that called the Leaf home stayed inside the walls, for they were a reassuring fastness even in these happy days of amnesty and sisterhood.

Back when Mina was young, nobody would have been fool enough to build outside the walls so close to the village. Even during the uneasy periods of peace, War had been a constant companion. Konoha was kept as safe as any of the Great Villages, but beyond the walls it had been a no-woman's land.

Raiding parties had oft strayed uncomfortable close to the walls, testing the village's defenses, and the land outside the Leaf still bore some of the worse scars from the many resultant skirmishes. Much of the forest outside Konoha was fairly recent growth, much of the older woods having been devastated by the engines of war, and its battles.

Fights between higher level shinobi, particularly those skilled in the advanced arts of elemental ninjutsu, could level vast swathes of forest. Mina herself, though lacking in more direct wide impact techniques, had knocked down more than her fair share of trees with high level toad summons and redirected enemy ninjutsu. Even with her very _precision_ style of fighting, compared to most other kage level kunoichi, the Yellow Flash could still incur a great deal of collateral damage when she got going.

But then, that was not really a concern, these days. There were still occasional skirmishes, to be sure, and shows of strength between the villages, but for the most part there was very little loss of life. Mission related fatalites were nearly unheard of, these days, thanks to a number of mitigating factors. Like increasing skill levels of the average kunoichi, and the spread of mandatory medical ninjutsu training under Mina's successor, the Slug Princess Tsunade (who was, ironically, something like a _decade_ Mina's senior).

Peace, or something very close to it, reigned across the Elemental Continent. Conflict between villages was at the lowest it had ever been since the earliest years of their founding. Violent confrontations almost never ended in death, and grudges passed on quickly and without note.

In no small part, this was thanks to the magnanimous spirit of her and Kushina's beloved son, Naruto. The last man to walk the earth, according to history books, had been First Hokage Hashirama Senju, whose idealistic vision and peerless virility had paved the way for a brief but prosperous era of peace between clans, with the founding of the Hidden Villages.

And Naruto, the Sage bless him, seemed to be well on the track to following in Hashirama's footsteps. International dialogue was frequent and open, thanks in large part to him and his bartering, and even the most bitter enemies have proven willing to set aside their differences if it meant a shot at the blond stud.

Sex was perhaps one of the most fundamental forces in human history, and Naruto Uzumaki represented an entire plane of sexual possibility that had not existed since the time of the First Hokage.

Not for no reason were people calling him the next God of Kunoichi. Aside from Lady Sarutobi, the Honorable Sandaime, who had been rather _**megami** no kunoichi_, the last to hold that title had been Hashirama Senju himself.

So Mina was proud of her son. Prouder than almost any other parent in history, or so she fancied.

Smiling, the Yellow Flash pulled herself out of her musings and greeted her teammates for this mission.

Before Mina stood three expert kunoichi handpicked from the Leaf's most elite jonin, the best and brightest of their generation.

Kagome Hatake, the legendary Copy Ninja, was reading a signed copy of _Make Out Naruto 12: Kunoichi Kink and Pervert Pink_. A considerable bosom, perhaps only a cup-size below Mina's own, strained against a standard shinobi flak vest, and a slanted hitai-ate covered her transplanted sharingan eye.

Kagome was Mina's star pupil, and a child genius rivaled by pretty much only Itami and the Sannin. Her signature raikiri was a formidable assassination technique, and a lightning ninjutsu which even Kumo would be proud to call its own.

Next was Asuka Sarutobi. Daughter of the Third Hokage, modestly endowed, and dressed in roughly the same fashion as Kagome. The only real difference was a small sash on one side with the kanji for _fire_, a mark of one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja who protected the daimyo. An unlit cigarette was in her mouth, and her short, spiky brown hair complimented a smooth, dusky tan.

Asuka was an accomplished kunoichi in her own right, Mina knew, and her wind manipulation and Flying Swallow technique alone could put her on the short list of elite shinobi. But like her mother, Asuka was a Jill of All Trades, skilled in a wide variety of techniques and styles.

Lastly was Might Gal (or _Maito Gyaru_, for the more weaboo-inclined readers), the powerfully built, spandex clad taijutsu mistress. Her shining black hair was done in a short bob cut, and her eyebrows were dark and well defined. Her muscular arms and legs were accompanied by a stacked chest and rear – her "boobs of steel", as Gal called them. She didn't wear any underwear beneath her spandex, and those suggestive camel toe and wedgie were ever-present. If not for her flak vest, Mina imagined that Gal's nipples would also be perfectly visible.

Gal was the most specialized of these three, consciously choosing to use martial arts and nothing else. She rarely even employed weapons, and when she did they were never the conventional shuriken or kunai. Gal was a hard worker of the most extreme sort, and she had a drive to improve that only her student, Leah, could match.

Mina smiled at these three.

"So you'll be my team for this mission?" she said.

"Looks like it," remarked Kagome, lazily snapping her book shut and stowing it away in her flak vest.

"The Beautiful Green Beast of the Leaf, Might Gal reporting for duty!" shouted the spandex clad taijutsu mistress.

"This should be a hell of a mission," mused Asuka wryly, glancing between her teammates.

Mina laughed.

* * *

A/N: I suppose it was inevitable that my imagination would wander, however briefly, from depraved smut to curious world building. Because, even if this is all _technically_ an illusion, the people inside it still believe it's real.

Also, I got maybe the closest thing to a flame for this fic yet just recently:

_terrible. come up with your own ideas dont make spin offs due to 'insperation' you are the reason people hate fics. because you have no originality. burn._

That this is the closest to a flame this fic has gotten yet is, in my opinion, nothing short of mind-boggling.

...okay, so there was that _shut the fuck up_ review, but eh. I'm mostly counting this one because it gave me an excuse to rant about originality.

_Eh? What are you talking about? This IS my own idea. The Mating Season I'm talking about is a Teen Titans BBxharem fic of mine that is similarly smutty and shameless. As far as I know, the premise for this fic is more or less as unique as you can get. I mean, I suppose you could call the idea of a Naruto-centric harem derivative, but then that would open up a whole world of questions as to whether the concept of pairings as a whole can be called derivative or unoriginal._

_Honestly, I must say that, out of all the VALID complaints one could level against this fic (shameless, disgusting, degrading to women, degrading to men, devoid of plot or purpose, completely without an ounce of decency or restraint), I can hardly believe that UNORIGINALITY is the one you would choose to level. I mean, maybe a "last man on earth" premise has been done elsewhere, I had to have come up with the idea from SOMEWHERE... but, if it was sufficiently widespread, wouldn't it just be a cliche, and not a spin off?_

_...Hell, what is it even a spin-off OF, in your accusation? Only in the loosest sense (a male character with a big female harem and lots of sex) can this be called a "spin off" of Mating Season, and technically the earliest parts of this were written down AGES before I ever got the idea for MS._

_And, seriously, there are a million other sorts of fics that could be called more unoriginal than this. Like, practically ANY OTHER idea has probably been done more than this. high school AUs, vampire fics, arranged marriages, demon offerings, et cetera... I've only ever done one of those aforementioned cliches, to my recollection, and that was still only a part of the fic's plot. I've not read a lot of Naruto fanfics, recently, because most are crap. What, is there some big fad that I am unknowingly cribbing off of?_

_Actually, now that I think about it, I do faintly recall seeing a fic with Naruto as the only male ninja in the world... AFTER I'd started this. Seriously, the whole first chapter, and some bit of the second, existed since back in May, and at that time I hadn't intensively read Naruto fanfiction in months. So if this is somehow paralleling the plot of another fic (which not ONE of the other eighty-odd reviews have mentioned), well, it's a matter of parallel evolution, and not "spin off", or whatever you want to call it._

_And, strictly speaking, more people hate fanfiction for "generally poor quality writing", "geekiness", or "creepy unnerving smut" than anything to do with alleged unoriginality. The only people who hate unoriginal fanfics, in my experience, are people who have already read a shit ton of fanfiction. Pretty much any idea will seem novel the first couple of times you encounter it._

_Finally, accusing someone of unorginality is, quite frankly, as bland a blanket statement as accusing someone of being human. Everything in literature is built off of common foundations of ideas and archetypes. Plots and ideas have been reused wholesale for centuries. Every idea someone comes up with is informed by every other idea they have ever been exposed to. We devise plots and premises influenced by the things we have enjoyed or been affected by in some way, and nothing exists that is truly original. That is impossible. The human brain doesn't create ideas ex nihilo. Every quilt is woven from preexisting cloth._

_So, yes, in that sense I am certainly unorginal. So are you, and so is everyone else. Broadly speaking, originality is a pipe dream, an unattainable ideal created in a distinct contrast to reality. "There is nothing new under the sun." That's from the Old bleeding Testament, and is furthermore an adaptation of an even older Egyptian proverb._

_Maybe I'm ranting a little, but the whole concept of "originality" is just so laughably unrealistic that it boggles my mind how anybody can truly think it's an actual thing, to the point where they will use "unoriginal" as an insult. Cynically speaking, it's not about how original the plot is, but how engaging a read you make it._

_So, no, accusing me of having no originality is not a burn. You might as well accuse me of being mortal, or existing upon a material plane. Both are equally correct, and just as broadly applicable._

_Frankly speaking, this fic is as much my own idea as anything can be. Maybe other fics exist with a similar premise, but that doesn't make this a spin off of those any more than having a fic with a tragic romance makes it a spin off of Romeo and Juliet (which was, itself, an adaptation of a much older, classical Greek myth)._

_Thank your for reviewing, and thank you also for giving me an excuse to rant about the concept of originality and how it is a wholly illusory construct of the limited human mind._

What can I say? It's a pet peeve of mine. There is such a thing as dreadfully derivative fics, but I'd think this is at least sufficiently well written and not-grammatically-shitty to be judged on its own individual merits as a fic. Unoriginality is best used tacked on at the end of a long list of complaints against something that is truly, irredeemably awful on every level.

...which I suppose some might argue that to be, but I'd say that my writing has evolved and improved enough over the years that a lot of it would be technically subjective.

Long ass A/N.

_'Cause I was born a ramblin' man~_

**Updated: **11-11-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	10. Blooming on the Stage

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_going to a strip club~_)

* * *

Alone in his room, Naruto threw on some clean clothes. While he could waltz nude into the Hokage's office without a single complaint from anyone, and indeed certainly _enjoyed_ going au naturel all over town, there was still something to be said for clothes. What went unseen could be even more arousing than that which was shamelessly paraded out in the open. Just taking off his shirt could be even more potent an aphrodisiac than outright letting his dick flop out all over the place.

The more something was wrapped up, the fiercer people would tear at the packaging to get at it. Under the right circumstances, at any rate.

And aside from that, going out clothed was helpful for when he _didn't_ want to get immediately swamped by horny babes. Very useful when he had somewhere he needed to be. Or simply _wanted_ to be.

Like now, for instance.

"I wonder how ma's doing with those Cloud chicks?" Naruto quietly mused to himself, putting his arm through his sleeve. "The Playful Fox already has plenty of part-time workers, so it's not like she really needs to get new attractions right away... Hinata-chan alone brings in _tons_ of cash."

Naruto couldn't help grinning at the thought of the girl who was, by all accounts, perhaps his most serious girlfriend. Certainly, the buxom Hyuuga heiress had been one of the very first in their age group to take note of Naruto as a _boy_. Her mom and aunt had definitely encouraged Hinata in her pursuit of Naruto, but the initial revelation was all her. She had seen that he was different from the other kids in the Academy, and realized on an instinctive level what this difference had meant.

Now, Hinata was just one of a multitude of girls their age with hots for Naruto, but she had been the first in their immediate generation to perceive his difference and find it attractive. The two of them had been a couple to some degree or other for several years, now, and indeed Hinata had a special place in Naruto's heart and loins as his real first. Definitely, at least, she was the nearest to being considered his wife out of all possible candidates, and while polygamy was not illegal, a first wife traditionally held a position above any who came after.

Out of all the girls Naruto was with on a regular basis, Hinata really was the one where the most sentiment lay. He had a soft spot for her, and a relationship with her on a level above what he even had with Sasuki or Kagome-sensei, who most considered to be the next closest to him.

Of course, there was also Sakura, who had been his first real attraction back before Hinata had worked up the courage, in the Academy, to approach and court him. The feisty pinkette was certainly the object of many strong emotions for the blond, but he was never really clear on what it was they _had_. Back before the girls in his class really knew what a male meant, Sasuki had by far been the subject of the most juvenile desire and childish infatuation. Naruto, with his cockiness and loud mouth, had done little in those days to endear himself to his female classmates. While there were sempai in the upper classes who saw him as a promising investment, most of the girls Naruto's age had simply seen him as, well, a particularly annoying girl.

Sakura especially had been very intensely devoted to Sasuki, and had all but outright loathed Naruto for his obnoxious behavior. Even with the passage of time, and the gradual softening of her heart, the pinkette was – regardless of any saucy rumors to the contrary – completely uninvolved, sexually or romantically, with Naruto Uzumaki. She had a certain attraction to him, of course, and could appreciate how rocking his body was, but there was still a certain intransigence toward the idea of actually being _with_ the blonde.

Familiarity, as they say, breeds contempt. Being on the same team as Naruto since they became genin had done much to harden Sakura's flower against Naruto. She was, you could say, largely immune to the combination of pheromones and looks that usually got most women burning and drenched at the first sight of him. This, combined with the lingering sour impression from their youth, when he had so annoyingly tried again and again to court her, left Sakura Haruno as perhaps one of the few women alive who simply did not want to fuck Naruto.

Or, more accurately, her desire to fuck him was outweighed by her tsundere instincts and natural irritability.

Getting back on topic however, Naruto was zipping up his signature orange and black jacket as he pondered the matter of Kushina and the Kumo girls. If his mom was training the three (whom he had brought home as _his_... well, "indentured love servants" sounded relatively inoffensive, even if it was a tad misleading), he figured that he should at least go down and get a free show out of the deal.

Hell, he might even be able to negotiate a certain amount of royalties from any earnings Karui, Samui, and Omoi wound up making down at the Playful Fox strip club.

Naruto grinned at the thought of this, and he walked out of his room and down the hall. He saw that Obi and Mari appeared to be hard at work dusting and sweeping, dressed in their highly suggestive and revealing maid outfits. He could see quite clearly how their breasts jiggled as they moved to and fro, and how they cheerfully wiggled their asses wherever they went.

"Yo," he said, greeting the two sisters. "I'm heading out. Gonna check up on Kushina, maybe take in a show at her strip club. I'll probably be gone for a while, so don't expect me back anytime soon, okay?"

The two pouted adorably at their master. "Awww!" they whined together.

"Are you sure you can't stay, Naru-sama?" Obi said, her mismatched eyes glimmering with heartbreaking sadness.

"Yeah," said Mari, pouting cutely and squeezing her bosom innocently between her arms. "Do you really have to go? We want you _here_..."

Naruto laughed, knowing right away what the girls _weren't_ saying. "Don't worry, Mari-chan, Obi-chan!" he told them cheerfully, before bringing his hands together in his signature croos-seal. "These two will take good care of you girls, as long you don't slack off."

He winked at the two, who each felt a pair of strong arms wrap around them from behind, and a noticeable erection tenting between each of their buttocks. The two shadow clones of Naruto breathed suggestively on the sisters' ears, making Obi and Mari shiver and mewl in such and adorably sexy manner.

"Thank you, Naru-sama...!" they cried out adoringly after his departing back, feeling the clones nibble lightly on their ears and sneak some roving hands up their skirts.

"Don't mention it," Naruto replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, pausing and turning to look back briefly. "You kids have fun, now~" he said to the two maids and his clones, before laughing and heading out the door.

Now, because the Playful Fox was owned and operated chiefly by Kushina Uzumaki and her wife Mina, there were a number of hiraishin seals located throughout for ease of travel back and forth. And while Naruto certainly enjoyed taking strolls through the village in his off time, that was not to say that he was averse to using the Flying Thunder God technique to reach his destination with minimal effort.

The instant he stepped out the front door, Naruto used the jutsu Mina had become famous for and shifted through space to a spot in the most VIP backstage area of the joint, where the employees unwound between shows and the owners had free rein. The employee wasn't particularly busy at this time of day, so there were only a couple of girls present when Naruto showed up.

Comfortable lounge seats, beanbags, and artsy sofas were scattered throughout the heart of the employee lounge. The lighting was dim, and most everything was done in dark shades of navy and maroon. There was a counter set, coffeemaker, microwave, and fridge in one corner of the room, and the far wall was lined with cryptically labeled doors which Naruto knew were connected to the various show-prep rooms.

Looking around, the blond idly cast his eyes over the same spiral Uzumaki motif on the walls and floors that he had seen every other time he'd come here, as far back as he cared to recall. The Playful Fox was one of the oldest and most venerable establishments in the Leaf, having been founded by Mito Uzumaki – the first wife of the First Hokage – back in the earliest years of Konoha's history. She had actually built it, in fact, as a place where people from both the Senju and Uchiha clans could come together over a shared appreciation of feminine beauty and sexuality.

Glancing to the wall opposite the many doors, Naruto saw another larger, ornate door of solid stone, engraved with a stylized depiction of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox in her animal form. At the door's center, located between the carven jaws of a chained Kumiko, was the Uzumaki spiral. Naruto felt the faintest tug in his belly at the sight of this symbol, which he knew was linked to a massive sealing array that enveloped an entire, huge chamber of the Playful Fox, a single room that comprised nearly seventy-five percent of the building.

It should be noted, by the way, that the Playful Fox, aside from being one of the oldest establishments in Konoha, was also the single largest building in sheer surface area. Hokage Tower may have stood technically above it in height, but aside from the older, smaller portion of the building where most of the business happened, most of the Playful Fox had been constructed for the express purpose of containing the kyuubi's body outside of her jinchuuriki.

While Kumiko's Yang chakra was sealed inside of Naruto, the greatest of the bijuu was simply too large to be sealed within a single person, even an Uzumaki. Since the time of Mito, Kumiko's first true jinchuuriki, it had been tradition to contain half of the Nine-Tails's chakra within a living person, and the other half in the Playful Fox, where she had come to serve willingly as one of the chief attractions.

Glancing sidelong at one of the girls present (when did Ayame-neechan get a job here?) Naruto paused to ask, "Are Kumiko or Kushina in?"

The girl-next-door brunette, dressed in a sleek, lacy dress, glanced up from the book she'd been reading to see the son of the Playful Fox's owner, and the strip club's unofficial assistant manager. She smiled at him, shifting in her seat to give Naruto a better view of her cleavage.

"Yes and yes," she said warmly. "Madame Kushina came in with three new acquisitions a little bit ago, and she's out on stage training them in."

Naruto grinned. "And where new girls are being trained, Kumiko is helping do it. Right?"

Ayame nodded, slyly brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "You _are _right," she purred, smiling foxily at the blond. "Her and Hinata are both helping."

Naruto's grin widened.

"Hinata-chan is in, too?" he said, pleasantly surprised. "I didn't think she worked this early in the day."

"She doesn't," replied Ayame. "I believe she came in to pick up something _special_for a night with her boyfriend." She batted her eyelashes at Naruto, casting her eyes up and down his clothed frame. "I envy her, sometimes," she remarked huskily, eyeing in particular the bulge of Naruto's mostly flaccid manhood.

She licked her lips, and Naruto laughed.

"Well, if you're back working at Ichiraku's in time, I've got a lunch date there with Tenten," he said cheerily. Ayame's eyes brightened at this.

"Oooh, really?" she said. "I'll _definitely_ be there. I only have to do one more show, anyways, before my shift is over."

"Maybe you should try going naked apron, while you're at it," Naruto told her cheekily. "That would make it a lot easier to get at the good parts."

Ayame tittered lustily, and she gave the blond a nod. "We'll see," she said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "We'll see."

Winking at Ayame, Naruto turned and headed out to the stage where she had told him his mom and the others were.

When he stepped out through the prep room (he didn't notice which) it was to see the three girls he had broken down and claimed as sex slaves just yesterday putting on a truly expert strip show for Kushina, Hinata, and Kumiko.

Naruto couldn't tell what the three had originally come out dressed as, because by this point they were down to pretty much just their lingerie, but he could immediately tell that they were doing a bang up job. The movement of their bodies was smooth and graceful, the gyrations of their hips tastefully suggestive as hands slowly danced up and down their own half-naked bodies,

The blond watched, aroused and intrigued, as Karui fluidly slid her hands down a smooth, gently curving waistline. Her hips swaying side to side, the redhead slipped her thumbs under the lace bands of her panties, then inched them teasingly, slowly down her hips in a way that made every smallest motion seem like a natural part of one great single movement.

Like the flow of a river, she slid her underwear down so confidently and gracefully that it looked like the most natural thing in the world as she bared her pussy to the spectating audience of three.

Omoi moved her body to the beat of the music, rocking her hips and snapping her underwear against her booty like a rubber band. She twisted and swerved this way and that, every member of her body describing the countless steps of some primal dance of passion. She was an extension of the music, and physical medium through which sound became sight, a display of understated sensuality and languid intensity.

As naturally as lifting one foot while setting the other down, Omoi undid the strap of her bra, letting it fall to the ground while her back was turned to the crowd.

Samui was naked already, by all appearances. She pressed her hands to her nipples, sensuously kneading and rolling her most generous breasts while gyrating her naked hips. A flower blooming up on stage, petals unfurling in the spotlight for all to see. Nectar glistened on the flesh of ripe fruit, plump and shapely and perfectly appetizing. Her loveliness was made a tribute in sexual dance, a show of her skill and her natural beauty.

She let it all hang out, running hands all over her body, cupping supple flesh and kneading sensitive curves for the pleasure of her audience, as small as it was.

All three were naked now, and they continued dancing for a number of minutes more, revealing and concealing to inflame the lusts of the spectators. They offered their bodies to the stage, to the crowd, baring every inch of themselves and their nakedness. Proudly, they displayed the spiral brand of ownership on their buttocks, the seal of Uzumaki which marked them as Naruto's.

The music ended.

Kumiko clapped her hands, smiling lustily at the three, who stood now at attention front and center. Her appearance was, in a nutshell, that of the late Mito Uzumaki in her prime. As a shapeshifter, the bijuu had modeled the appearance of this human form after her original jinchuuriki, as much out of respect as the fact that Mito in her prime had rocked one _hell_ of a bod. She was dressed elegantly as a high-class courtesan, a long, slender pipe curled delicately between slim, pale fingers, the clothes revealing little of the underlying figure.

"Excellent, excellent," she said in a husky, womanly voice. Her eyes were half lidded and sensual, her smile subtle and confident. In every way, shape, and form, Kumiko was a true courtesan of the highest caliber, a woman of utmost class and refinement. "You girls did very well, I must say."

Hinata, dressed in her usual heavy clothes, smiled and nodded. "Yes, they must have taught you very well back in Kumo," she remarked innocently, the sweetest expression on her face.

Most would have found it odd to find someone like Hinata here, but the fact was that the Playful Fox was very much a cultural institution of the Leaf, a part of their heritage as shinobi of Konoha. Noble daughters oft came here for training in various sensual arts, and while most left once their training was complete, it was far from unheard of for some to stay on as part-time showgirls. Hinata just so happened to be one of those people who got a rush from doing striptease and dances and other things like that.

"Yeah, Naruto really picked the cream of the crop, with you three!" added Kushina cheerfully, leering shamelessly at her three newest attractions. No doubt she was already imagining all the money they would bring her.

...not that Naruto could blame his mom.

Stepping out of the shadows, the blonde gave the Kumo trio a grin, causing all eyes present to widen a little in surprise at his sudden appearance.

"That was a great show!" he said.

* * *

A/N: Apparently Kushina now owns a strip club, and both Hinata and the Nine-Tails work there. As well as Ayame.

At least half of this is purely a product of my own perverse imagination. The other half is thought up by one of the contributors to the interactive this comes from.

I wonder how many of you can guess which without looking at the source?

**Updated: **11-13-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	11. Can You Tell I've Shipped NaruHina 4eva?

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_this smut is wack_)

* * *

The three former kunoichi of Kumogakure bowed low to Naruto, happiness visible on their faces. Their body language was completely deferential, and their naked bodies were every bit as fine as the blond remembered.

"Thank you, Master," they said, speaking in unison. Their tone was even and reverent, perfectly respectful and obedient. "We are honored to know that you enjoyed our performance."

Naruto couldn't help but sweatdrop at how the girls were acting. They were more reserved in their speech, now, and obviously restrained themselves quite well from throwing their horny, nubile bodies at his feet and begging him to have his wicked, violent way with them.

"I guess mom broke you three in real good..." he said, glancing sidelong at Kushina, who gave him a cocky, vulpine grin in response. Her eyes focused south of his belt, where he had a goodly bulge going.

"Yup!" said the former jinchuuriki of Kumiko's Yang chakra. "These girls are _great_, Naruto! We'll seriously be raking in some real cash with them...!" Her eyes were gleaming gleefully.

Kushina had not been an active kunoichi for well over a decade, ever since she had gotten pregnant with her son (nobody thought to question the _how_ of that matter). While she had a jonin pension, and the money Mina earned as an on duty jonin and former Hokage, she had something of a taste for a very lavish lifestyle. Their house alone cost a small fortune in property taxes every year, even with Mina's _de facto_ discount. Ever since she had taken over full time operation of the Playful Fox, Kushina had put a great deal of time and energy into maximizing her revenue from the establishment, and she was actually a scary in how ruthlessly she tracked down and hired potential new attractions.

And of course, former kunoichi from the Hidden Cloud, broken in and made slaves by her son, represented a potential **goldmine**. Karui and Omoi both had the distinctively exotic look of the doughty, resilient folk of the mountainous _Kaminari no Kuni_, and Samui herself had a bust the equal or superior of even star attractions Hinata and Kumiko. The gentle-ladies of the Leaf would no doubt pay a small daimyo's ransom for a glimpse of these foreign beauties.

And, speaking of Hinata, the girl herself sprang energetically up onto the stage and all but jumped into her boyfriend's arms. She pressed her thickly clothed bosom tightly against Naruto's chest, smiling warmly and practically purring as she nuzzled a cheek affectionately into the crook of his neck.

"It's nice to see you again, Naruto-kun," she said cheerfully, openly snuggling her boyfriend up on stage. "I hear you spent the night with Sasuki-san?"

There was no accusation in her voice, or jealousy either. Hinata and Sasuki were, while not the closest, still fairly good friends. As noble daughters of two grand auld clans, the pair had bonded somewhat in the Academy, each bringing out some of the other's better traits. Hinata had helped soften Sasuki's once-cold heart, and Sasuki had helped Hinata come out of her shell.

They respected one another, if nothing else, and saw each other as worthy rivals for Naruto's love and loins.

"Yeah," Naruto said, smiling as he squeezed Hinata hard with a suspiciously handsy bear hug. "And her sister, too."

"Ah, Itami finally stopped hiding in the corner?" Hinata purred.

"Well, I called her out, is more like it," said Naruto sheepishly. "But she was definitely happy to get on board once I did."

"I don't doubt it," said Hinata, subtly suggestive. "Most women would be, I think."

Naruto laughed, and he gave his de facto girlfriend's behind a playful grope, making her giggle and grin.

"I guess so," he conceded. "They certainly seemed like they enjoyed it!"

"I'm glad," said Hinata warmly. "Sasuki is a nice girl, underneath that cool facade. And Itami is too, I'd imagine. They deserve a little slice of happiness like that, now and then..."

Naruto grinned, and he gave Hinata a peck on the lips. The other girls present (including Kumiko and the sparse audience who had been there to watch his Kumo love slaves strip) all flushed pink, just a little, with repressed jealousy at the sight.

Hinata, smiling, returned the kiss with interest, exponentially so.

* * *

Shuriken whistled, a sound high and sharp, as they flew through the air. Tempered pig iron embedded itself in wood and straw. Four black pointed tips, emanating radially from a central point, gleamed in the morning sun.

The projectiles spun as they went through their trajectory, cutting a swathe through the air, fixed tips rotating like a windmill.

More shuriken impacted the target. So close together, they were, that some glanced off the metal of an earlier hit and fell, deflected, uselessly to the ground.

"Damn," muttered Sasuki, the smallest of frowns marring her face. "I keep doing forgetting to adjust for that."

"Your aim is _too_ precise, little sister," observed Itami, standing next to her sibling. They were in a training ground just outside the Uchiha compound, one which the two daughters of the clan head often frequented for practice in their spare time. "You need to spread them more. You still concentrate your fire on too tight an area."

"Yeah, I know," Sasuki said. "Like casting a net, right? You have to send your shuriken wide against highly evasive targets. Make the field of threat too narrow, and they can easily dodge out of it. Not that I've ever actually had a _problem_ with this, in live fire situations. I always get my woman."

She shuffled a blunted training shuriken between her fingers.

"Indeed you do," said Itami, smiling at her little sister. "You are very skilled, and I am proud to call you my _imouto_." Her gaze then hardened infinitesimally. "But you have been neglecting some of your more basic training, lately. That is a mistake."

Sasuki sighed, looking abashed.

"Yeah, I know..." she said sheepishly. "I've been focusing so much on the high level stuff recently that I haven't really had time." She shook her head, and produced a few more shuriken between her fingers. "But the fundamentals are fundamental for a reason. Right?"

Itami nodded, and she observed appraisingly as Sasuki slipped once more into a throwing stance.

"You're leading too much," she remarked. "With your right foot, I mean. Your stance is solid, but it's easy to see where you're aiming just by reading your body language. Shuriken are mainly for breaking the enemy's concentration, and this works best when done obliquely. You're too straightforward."

Sasuki rolled her eyes. "You're the only one who can read my body language that easily, sis."

"You should still try to improve yourself wherever you can," Itami replied softly. She slid fluidly from a standing position into a shuriken stance. Throwing stars appeared immediately in her fingers, and she swung her arms wide. The projectiles flew quickly through the air, moving in a curving arc as one by one they quickly impacted the target dummy. They formed a perfect circle around Sasuki's cluster of embedded shuriken.

The younger sister blushed, abashed at this show of skill from her elder and idol.

"I guess I still have a way to go, yet," Sasuki quietly conceded, scratching the back of her neck.

"And so do I, it would seem," said Itami, frowning softly at the circle her shuriken made around Sasuki's. "I was trying to make an _uchiwa_."

* * *

Hinata moaned delightedly, feeling her boyfriend slip his tongue past her lips. Her jacket was unzipped, a goodly deal of milky Hyuuga cleavage visible through the underlying fishnet. They were in one of the show prep rooms, Naruto hungrily pressing his girlfriend up against a wall as they made out.

Slender, pale fingers danced down Naruto's torso, tickling his skin through his clothes. Like it was second nature, Hinata casually sent small, precise bursts of her own chakra into Naruto's system. By stimulating certain pressure points throughout the body, she could increase or decrease the flow of chakra, and overall manipulate it in very specific ways.

Like getting her boyfriend to come in his pants just by tickling a few tenketsu along his biceps, or getting him erect with a single touch anywhere on his body. Though she was not as skilled as, say, her cousin _Nejie_ in the more combative aspects of the gentle fist, Hinata Hyuuga was certainly the best in all her clan at manipulating a person's chakra circulatory system to their benefit.

Naruto groaned into her mouth, feeling the sticky mess Hinata had just made him shoot into his own trousers. He pulled back from the kiss briefly to say, "Jeez, Hina-chan... So mean..." in a teasing tone, before redoubling his tongue's assault on the sacred grounds beyond his girlfriend's luscious lips.

Hinata smiled into the kiss, trailing her hands to the zipper of his jacket. As deftly as Naruto himself, she tapped a point on his chest, just between his collar bones, and formed a ram seal.

Their clothes vanished in a puff of smoke. Naruto's erection sprang out so quickly, unbound from the confines of his trousers, that it smacked Hinata's thigh with enough force to snap bones on a lesser mortal. But as shinobi, they were made of sterner stuff than most folk. Hinata may not have been warlike or aggressive, but she was far from vulnerable or weak.

"Hehe, you're pretty impatient this morning, Hinata-chan," Naruto observed wryly, glancing down appreciatively at Hinata's fine, generous bosom.

"Sasuki-san got to be with you last night," she replied, hungrily running her hands up and down her lover's naked body. "She is my friend, but you are my love."

Naruto's eyes twinkled, and he grinned knowingly.

"_Hot_," he commented wolfishly, giving her a playful wink as he squeezed and fondled her heavenly lumps. "I didn't take you for the competitive type, babe."

Hinata giggled demurely. "Because I am not, usually," she told him, smiling beatifically. "But I need you inside me. I'm ovulating today."

It was, perhaps, a testament to either his composure, or else how accustomed he was to this sort of thing, that Naruto's eyes widened only infinitesimally, and just for a moment. When he recovered from that split second of surprise, he let out a long whistle.

"You serious about that? I thought you wanted to wait until you made jonin and got yourself a better pension like Kurenai-chan, or your cousin. You know?" he said. "Your training will have to pretty much come to a stop, if you do this. Once the whole thing is over, you'll be about eight or nine months out of fighting shape, and probably never get another shot at advancement."

Hinata whimpered.

"I can't help it," she said, bucking her hips hungrily. "I just want it so bad. I need you inside me, Naruto-kun. I want to have your babies."

"You sure?" Naruto asked her again. "This is a big step. I know your sensei chose to go that route, but she still has her Asuka-chan to support her financially, and a jonin pension of her own. Plus, like, genjutsu is a really mental field, and would take a lot less re-conditioning for her to be mission capable again, if it came to that."

"You can provide for me, Naruto-kun," Hinata said, and the implication of her words sank deep into Naruto's mind.

With most of the girls he was with, it was a purely physical thing. If someone wanted to get pregnant, or just had a hankering for a dicking, then Naruto was the one to call. But most of them had their own lovers to provide for them, already, especially the adult ones. While there were a not inconsiderable number of ladies who got infatuated with him and him alone, they still provided for themselves, or had their families do so.

For Hinata to _implicitly_ trust in him to take care of her, and provide personally for her and any child they might make...

"You really _are_ serious," Naruto said, a little surprised. "Like, _wedding bells _serious."

Hinata smiled warmly. "I would be _honored_ to take your name, Naruto."

He grinned, chuckling wryly. "Heh, Sasuki-chan will probably be bummed that you wound up getting to me first," Naruto mused, wrapping his arms more tightly around Hinata's body.

"Right now, I could not care less about Sasuki," moaned the Hyuuga heiress lustfully, pressing herself against his burning loins. "I just want you inside me, Naruto. I want to have your babies!"

Naruto kissed her on the lips, and pushed himself in. "And I wanna give 'em to you," he said frankly, warmth in his voice. He penetrated her womanhood, making her squeal and squirm.

Naruto's manhood throbbed menacingly inside Hinata, hot and hard and loaded with lust as they fucked. Their hips slapped together at a frenetic pace, loud enough to wake the dead, and wet enough to fill a small lagoon. The Hyuuga's nectar gushed from her blossom like fountain, spraying and splurting all over Naruto's raging erection.

Her hands explored his body, stimulating his tenketsu to the best possible results. She pinched his ass with gentle fist precision, making him orgasm and shoot what felt like a bucket load of his seed inside of her. Naruto, himself, grunted in the heat of pleasure, but he also decided that two could play at that game.

Golden tongues of chakra like flame danced up from Naruto's skin. The slightest contact between his body and Hinata's was sufficient for incredible quantities of chakra to flow between them unimpeded. He made her libido erupt from the inside out, Kumiko's Yang chakra stimulating Hinata's nervous system to a point just short of completely blowing it out.

Hinata came like a machine gun. Life energy filled with lust and arousal permeated every fiber of her being. It stimulated her every erogenous zone to the highest possible capacity at once, overloading her senses with pleasure like none other, making her come instantaneously. But more than that, it filled her cells with vitality and vigor, eliminating any need for something as silly as a _refractory period_.

Her body was wracked with explosive, rapid fire orgasms.

But Naruto was not the only one giving. Even as his chakra flooded her system, Hinata redirected it back into him with pure gentle fist strikes. The kyuubi chakra boosted her abilities such that she could send precise bursts of chakra from _any _part of her body. Her pussy alone manipulated the tenketsu in Naruto's cock thoroughly enough to put even the Sixty-Four Palms to shame.

If she kissed him, she sent chakra from the tip of her tongue. If her breasts rubbed against his torso, she shot it from her nipples into his system. Every inch of her body, Hinata turned into a weapon with the sole purpose of making her lover come again and again. And it worked like a charm, Naruto's testicles churning out enough seed to fertilize literal _acres_ of cunt, and their bodies were subsisting almost entirely on the Yang chakra of the Nine-Tails as they doused every surface in the dressing room with their leakage of their juices.

Strictly speaking, they were having sex at a level that actually transcended human existence. Their bodies were effectively acting as conduits for the sensual energies of the infinite cosmos as they made love. It was closer to a religious experience than mere intercourse, a moment of carnal enlightenment in which all the petty, mortal cares of this world fell away at their feet, leaving them floating in a sea of stars outside the boundaries of mortal comprehension.

And, all hyperbole aside, Hinata and Naruto really were stimulating one another in ways that nobody else could manage. The Hyuuga heiress was the only person alive, perhaps, with the sensual talents to rival the effects of Naruto's kyuubi chakra mode, and make him experience every bit as much pleasure as he could make her feel.

And they could have gone at it for hours, in all honesty, without tiring, but they both had their obligations to the world outside the two of them. After maybe half an hour or more of nigh continuous orgasm for both parties, they pulled apart with one last kiss – Hinata feeling assured of her chances – and headed each their separate ways.

Kushina immediately ordered Samui, Karui, and Omoi to clean up the mess the vigorous couple had made of the prep room. She did not provide them with any sponges or mops.

They preferred it that way.

* * *

A/N: Naruto and Hinata fucking is apparently, in my headcanon, power perversion potential pumped up to eleven and beyond the impossible. Because kyuubi chakra mode pretty pretty much kicks "accuracy to reality" right in its goddamn whore ass.

Also, Jebus H. Cripes, this fic is over five hundred favs and follows, and more than one hundred reviews. And the most hits (over 80k) out of ALL my fics. Period.

After _seriously_ just a little more than two weeks. Fukken crazy, amirite? Only _Remember the Name _has more reviews than this, but in every other category it falls short.

This never ceases to astound me.

**Updated: **11-15-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	12. On Literary Merit and Pettiness

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_shit, it's the fuzz! cheese it!_)

* * *

This is not actually an update to the fic. In fact, it is very possible that this will end up deleted because of a single petty jackass who cannot take the idea that people exist who have different opinions from him (or her) self.

This first class prick, whose irrational aggression suggests that they are likely compensating for perceived shortcomings in their real life, goes by the truly _inspired_ (/sarcasm) name of God-ShadowEx100. If this fic gets deleted, and any of you are dismayed by that, firstly: you can find a link to it on AFN in my profile, and secondly: you can blame God-ShadowEx100 for going narc because, and this is a direct quote from a review:

_This garbage has now been reported for adult content for the sole fact of the Naruto x Hinata garbage have fun knowing you just made your biggest enemy on this site, also you will be reported for every chapter uploaded and or any future uploads to this trash you call a story because I am gonna have your pathetic bitch ass banned._

Keeping in mind that, in a previous review, this same stool pigeon ALSO wrote:

_Hinata is a useless piece of shit better used for bandits to rape on a daily basis, Hinata is a fucking pathetic weak ass bitch, a whore with no skill, and a cum dump used only to serve bandits and ruthless and blood thirsty demons._

And my response to that was a simple:

_ Dude, what? You even reading the same manga I am?_

...and the latest chapter also just happened to be a heavily NaruHina one, with a title lampshading the fact that I have been shipping that pairing for as long as I have been writing fanfiction (more than seven years).

Really, while the utterly petty outrage is amusing, I cannot help but feel that God-ShadowEx100 clearly wasn't hugged enough as a child. So, if this fic DOES get deleted, and you my readers are vexed by that occurrence, then feel free to take up your complaints with God-ShadowEx100.

And, in closing, just because I am feeling rather petty myself, my retort to this God-ShadowEx100's threat:

_Oy, I can get not liking NaruHina, but going narc just because I happen to be someone who has shipped NaruHina since before I even started writing fanfiction? Talk about petty._

_But, seriously, you, I have been on this site for over seven years. I have written upwards of eighty fanfics of varying quality. I am usually a very patient and easygoing man, but you clearly have zero sense of humor and even less tolerance for anything outside of your own interests. I have spite and bile built up over two years of washing dishes for minimum wage, more than five hundred followers for this goddamn fic, and far too much time on my hands._

_I was perfectly willing to just be passive aggressive. If someone else had reported this out of actual moral outrage or strict adherence to the rules, I could accept that. But doing so out of pure spite, simply because it contains a pairing you dislike? No, you, I do not cotton to that sort of pettiness. I don't have to take this shit from some wannabe-hardcore poseur twit who has never even posted anything of their own. You are, to my perception, nothing but a facade with no substance, an utterly shallow, wholly artless oaf who cares for writing only inasmuch as it can immediately satisfy their own shallow interests._

_In parting, sir or madame, you are a pissant at best, who has clearly contributed nothing to the literary discourse of this site, and most likely is possessed of an unpleasant body odor and questionable personal hygiene._

_Good day to you._

**Updated: **11-15-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	13. 与えなさい私を」あきらめさせる試みることを!

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_holy fuck all the feedback my irritable spite-chap got_)

* * *

Heading back through the employee lounge, Naruto had a shit-eating grin on his face. He was dressed once more, having unsealed his clothes from the storage formula below his collar, and he walked with a cocky, satisfied strut.

"That... was _awesome_," he remarked proudly to himself. "Some of the best sex me and Hinata have had yet."

The smell of sex coming from him was overpowering, and the few showgirls who were in at this time of day all gave him knowing grins as he passed. Yoshino smirked, batting her eyelashes at him, and Hana tittered wolfishly with her mother and sister, Tsume and Kiba, the three of them wearing _inumimi _and dog collars with matching canine bikinis.

Naruto winked at the girls as he passed (recalling that the Inuzuka trio did a "dog show" in the morning this time of the week) clicking his tongue playfully as he swaggered on toward the exit. Feeling energized from his rendezvous with Hinata, he swung his hips for the viewing pleasure of the ladies, who followed the movements of his pelvis with intense interest.

However, as he passed out of the employee lounge and into the maintenance hallway that led to the employee entrance, the blond was stopped by a familiarly sultry voice, low and husky and brimming with sexuality.

"Naruto-dono, may we have a word before you go?"

Turning around to face the door he had just come through, Naruto saw the sensual Yin half of his tenant, Kumiko. She wore her scarlet hair in the same fashion as preferred by the late Mito Uzumaki, and the fine silk of her luxurious kimono seemed to shimmer even in the lifeless fluorescent lighting. Countless intricate designs of silver and gold were woven into the deep crimson fabric, forming flowers and vines and spirals and leaves.

It was a subtle embroidery, woven so naturally into the garment that only the sharpest eyes, through the closest observation, could make out the design clearly. Otherwise it simply appeared an intriguing mystique, an indefinable sheen that seemed to dance across the dress, accentuating the natural appeal of her plentiful hills and valleys, contrasting perfectly with her smooth, alabaster skin.

To all appearances, the only differences between Kumiko and Mito, after whom this form was modeled, were the eyes, red and slitted like a cat's, and the nine magnificent fox tails, which she hid usually within her garment, coiled stealthily around her own legs. Like the Scandinavian _huldra_, or indeed the Japanese _kitsune_, even when in the form of humans, Kumiko and her sisters still kept the mark of their true nature in the tails of beasts, for they were of course _the_ Tailed-Beasts.

Of course, Naruto's attention was drawn specifically to the generous swell of Kumiko's bosom, and the gloriously bountiful valley of the cleavage which she now strategically exposed. Usually Kumiko wore her kimono in the correct, traditional fashion which have it closed right up the collar, exposing nothing of her "valley of the goddess." Even during her shows, she only exposed her cleavage like this while in the process of disrobing. She was a little old fashioned like that, having inherited many of her sensibilities from times long past.

The only time, indeed, that Kumiko deigned to compromise her manner of dress like this was when she wanted something very much, and was willing to do _anything _to get it. Naturally, of course, this meant she had Naruto's interest immediately.

"Hmm?" he hummed, eyes zeroing in half against his will on his the Nine-Tails's generous bosom. "What is it, Kumi-chan?" He smiled at her.

"I hear tell you have maids, now," said she, unperturbed by Naruto's affectionate form of address. "And I mean maidservants _proper_, something quite apart from those three slaves whom Kushina-dono and I have been training." She licked her lips, red and glossy and full. "I was on my way to 'check up' on them, see if they are up to the task of _serving_ you, my lord, and it struck me that I may as well ask if you have any requests. I would not want them to disappoint you in _any_ way, so I shall be... _ahem_... 'examining' them quite thoroughly."

Naruto smirked, eyes twinkling wickedly. He could figure out quite well how Kumiko would be _examining_ and _testing_ the girls, and it was a very_ sexy_ mental image.

He thought for a moment, though, seriously considering what he might want Kumiko to do as long as she was over there at his place.

"Hmmm... Well, maybe you could take a look at them?" he suggested. "Give them a check up, I mean, see if there's anything you can do to heal them."

Kumiko gave him a sultry smile, and stepped closer, the hem of her kimono passing various loose tools and bottles of cleaning agents that were stacked haphazardly along sections of the wall in between doors. The floor seemed to glow like new, clean and pure wherever she stepped. Her feet cut a gleaming swathe of cleanliness through the stubborn, encrusted dirt and grime that clung otherwise unfailingly to the surface even after countless scrubbings and moppings.

Coming close close to Naruto, feeling a reassuring radiance emanating from him like the warmth of a campfire against one's bare skin, the invisible glow of the blond's incredible human chakra mingled to even greater effect with the Yang half of her own chakra. She leaned forward slowly, sensuously.

Soft ruby lips tingled erotically against delicious, tanned skin. Kumiko kissed him on the cheek, letting her bountiful bosom press casually and enticingly against the blond's chest as she did so.

"I shall see what I can do," she purred huskily, pulling back from the kiss with a sensual gleam in her crimson eyes. "...on the condition that, tonight, you... I... the maids... Kushina-dono..." She trailed off, smiling suggestively to make her meaning one hundred percent clear. "Are these terms... _acceptable_ to you, Naruto-dono?"

Naruto gulped a little, honestly just a wee bit intimidated by Kumiko's powerful sexuality. She was like a force of nature in many ways, even quite apart from her raw power and majesty. It was scary at times, how intense she could be.

But it was also _hot_.

Smirking, Naruto lifted a hand up to gently stroke Kumiko's cheek. "Sure," he said. "I've always wanted to try it _that_ way..."

Kumiko returned the smirk, a victorious spark in her eyes as she leaned forward and gave him a matching peck on the other cheek. "Charming as always, my lord," she purred huskily, suggestively licking her lips. "We shall go at midnight. Prepare yourself for a _magnificent_ time."

Naruto laughed good-naturedly as he turned to head out the exit. "Can do, Kumi-chan, can do!" he declared cheerfully.

He walked out the door.

* * *

Hinata was ecstatic, practically skipping through the village streets. She was dressed in a spare change of clothes, practically singing under her breath as she took in the beautiful, golden sunshine. It was a glorious day, magnificent in every imaginable way. She felt like she was on top of the world.

And why wouldn't she? Her boyfriend had all but outright said that they would be getting married, now that she was probably pregnant.

Of course, it wasn't one hundred percent certain yet, and Hinata would likely need her mother, or a doctor, to check for any of the signs of quickening. But, still, she felt sure of it. Naruto-kun _would_ be taking her as his first wife, this was certain. He would take care of her, and she would care for him in return. Even if she wasn't pregnant, they had still had but confirmed one another's intentions. They were completely serious, the both of them.

And anyways, the odds were in her favor that she _was_ pregnant. Even aside from Hinata being at the peak of her fertility today, ovulating and ready for fertilization, Naruto's bijuu chakra was the very essence of life energy. His sperm, when imbued with this chakra, was immensely potent, and furthermore Hinata had been manipulating the chakra pathways inside her own gender to maximize the odds of a sperm cell reaching its destination successfully.

So she was sure she would get pregnant from this, certain that she and Naruto had successfully conceived the beginnings of a new life. And she could not wait to share this news with her friends, and her family.

But before anyone else, she intended to tell her _rival_.

Thus, Hinata was headed to the home of Sasuki Uchiha, the second daughter of the Uchiha clan head.

"I can't believe it!" Hinata cheered silently to herself as the walls of the Uchiha compound came within sight. "He said yes. He actually said _yes! _I'm going to be a _mother!_" She squealed aloud at this thought, so lost in the euphoria of this revelation, this certainty of her belief.

She was excited, to be sure, as she strolled into the Uchiha clan's section of the Leaf. The compound was practically a village within a village, so vast and self-sufficient inside its own bounds, and Hinata could not help but admire how impressive it was as she made her way to the house of her friend, and rival in love.

Even the Hyuuga compound was pretty much just a great, sprawling manor that housed the members of her clan. It was large, to be sure, but nothing like the Uchiha compound. The latter was like a small village unto itself, where the former was essentially just an extra-large manse.

"I hope Sasuki-chan and Itami-san don't mind..." Hinata murmured to herself as she neared the home of the two sisters and their mothers. "I know they both like Naruto-kun, too... and Sasuki-chan is very competitive..."

Sweatdropping slightly, Hinata came to the door of the clan head's house. Only just a little worried for how her love rival would take this news, she knocked.

The door slid open. Itami Uchiha's onyx eyes flicked down to meet Hinata's cloudy opals. The genius elder daughter of clan head Fugako analyzed her visitor for a moment, as though looking for any signs of an imposter. The off duty ANBU captain was wearing a dark navy, high collared tee of a fashion favored among her clan.

The swell of her goodly breasts, maybe the same size as those of Hinata, who was – in contrast to Itami – still filling out (believe it or not) creased the front of her shirt around her bosom, accentuating the bulge of her womanly lumps.

Hinata gave the older girl a warm smile. "Hello, Itami-san," she said politely, giving a short bow.

Itami reciprocated the gesture, smiling and bowing to Hinata as well. "It is nice to see you, Hinata," she greeted the Hyuuga heiress with the familiarity of an old friend. She stepped back and gestured graciously for her guest to enter. "Please, come in. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Thank you," said Hinata, beaming at Itami as she stepped inside. "I am happy to visit."

She removed her sandals at the entryway, storing them neatly out of the way, as was only proper when entering someone's house. Then she followed Itami further inside.

"So what brings you here, today?" the young Uchiha heiress politely inquired of her acquaintance and guest. She was not as close to Hinata as her young sister was, but still Itami was nothing if not a good and friendly host.

Hinata beamed brightly, joy evident in her expression. "I have some very good news," she said. "And I can't wait to share it with Sasuki."

Silently, Itami pondered the import of this statement. She had a feeling that there was much more to it than Hinata was readily divulging, but she was not about to force anything out of the girl.

"Is that so?" she said. "Good for you."

Hinata smiled a little bit brighter.

"Thank you!" she chirped gaily, and the exuberance of this reply bemused Itami, who did not know Hinata Hyuuga to be a very vocal or extroverted individual.

"You're welcome," she said absently, before coming to her sister's bedroom door. She knocked on it, Hinata standing patient, yet also visibly excited, behind her. "We have a visitor, Sasuki."

The door opened. Itami's little sister stood behind it, dressed in shorts and a black bra that she appeared to be in the middle of fastening. Her hair looked damp, like she had very recently taken a shower.

"Yeah?" she said, looking a little vexed by this sudden intrusion on her routine. "What do you want, Hinata?"

* * *

At the same time this was going on, Naruto was at a training ground near where he and his team had originally taken their _true_ genin exam. There were still a couple hours before he had that lunch date with Tenten, and he and the others had today off from missions.

So he figured he would take some time out of his schedule to do some training. It was more to keep his skills honed nice and sharp than to actually get stronger, because there was seriously very little he _could_ do now to really improve beyond the level he had reached. As it was, practically no one alive would stand a ghost of a chance in a fight against him, no matter how many strategic advantages they might try to stack up.

Naruto was simply at a level of skill and power where, even asleep and unarmed with zero reinforcements miles behind enemy lines, he just could not be realistically threatened by any human enemy. Even most _supernatural_ powers would balk at the idea of going toe to toe with the Number One Hyperactive Knucklehead Ninja.

So he really only trained to keep himself sharp, these days, and refine his technique every now and then. He had mostly grasped the basics of sealing, and even genjutsu was not beyond his ability with the help of Kumiko's chakra or sage mode. His taijutsu – the frog style kempo in particular – was really down pat, even if Naruto still preferred an uncomplicated haymaker to any sort of real fancy maneuver, and he had mastered the most fundamental schools of shurikenjutsu. He had wind manipulation down to nearly an art form, and he'd even worked on establishing an affinity for the other basic elements.

And that last one, in fact, was what he was working on now. While he was good enough with most of the elements to handle D and C-rank techniques (up to mid B-rank for water and earth) Naruto did not want to settle for just that. With senjutsu, he had an increased connection to nature, and at those he could _feel_ the pull of the different elemental affinities on his chakra. Moreover, he had more than once entertained the possibility of teaching himself _advanced_ elements, as in ones that typically were reserved for people with specific bloodline limits.

While at first glance this would seem a mad endeavor, Naruto's efforts were actually not without some limited success. Using various instructional scrolls that had been sent to him by some lady friends across the elemental nations, Naruto had thus far seen limited results with three different _kekkei genkai_ elements – hyouton, bakuton, and mokuton. The first two, he had more success with, presumably because the 'wind' component of both was his natural and best affinity, while the water and earth affinities were roughly tied as his second best.

This would also explain why wood was the most difficult to use of the three advanced elements he had achieved results with, and why he had no success thus far with any others. As for why he was able to use elements usually reserved for bloodlines or specific bijuu at _all_, well Miraiya-sensei had theorized that it probably had something to do with his mastery of both sage mode and the Nine-Tails. By mastering both of these, he had gained an subconscious insight into the workings of chakra that perhaps nobody since the Sage of Six Paths had been able to boast.

In layman's terms, he wasn't breaking any rules of nature, but rather using them in ways people hadn't even realized were possible. Present theories of chakra were incomplete and questionably accurate, but since Naruto didn't care much for the academic aspects of ninjutsu anyways, he didn't bother to let those hold him back.

_"Achievements in ignorance,"_ Miraiya had called it. Ironically, because Naruto barely understood the theories behind chakra use, he was not restrained by the same preconceptions that plagued other, more learned shinobi. Because he didn't really know what was supposed to be possible or impossible with ninjutsu, Naruto was able to innovate in ways that otherwise only the greatest of geniuses could.

Naruto, in the middle of the field, was surrounded by six groups of shadow clones. Each group of twenty-five kage bunshin was working on a different element. The ones assigned to fire were concentrating on igniting heavy logs without any manner of tinder or kindling, while the ones assigned to water worked on making water leap between stationary buckets, and the ones assigned to earth tried to alternately soften and harden the soil beneath their feet in rapid succession. And so on and so forth.

All in all, Naruto had clones working on each of the remaining basic elements, as well as ice and explosion. And he himself was sitting lotus position in the midst of this controlled chaos, seated opposite Kagome-sensei's kouhai from the ANBU, Captain Nadeshiko. With a forehead protector like the Second Hokage, and the unique abilities of the First, she was tutoring him presently in the basics of wood-style ninjutsu.

Also, she was completely naked.

There was probably a goldmine of dirty jokes to be made somewhere in there about her teaching Naruto how to use wood.

* * *

A/N: SO tired am I that only after writing this do I realize this chapter is completely devoid of sex. Welp.

On another note, I dunno, it's not like Naruto will ever actually be _fighting_ anybody in this fic (OR WILL HE?!) but I still couldn't help but make it so that he is still able to get even _more _ungodly hax powerful. If he really wants.

I am working under the assumption that explosion style is a combination of earth and wind, which makes sense to me because a big part of an explosion is the rapid expansion of air, and the shockwaves. Plus magnetism is totally lightning + earth because _fucking duh, physics and shit_. For some unfathomable reason, the illustration on the Naruto wiki graphs magnetism as wind-lightning and explosion as lightning-earth. I don't even know what the fuck.

Besides, the idea of Naruto being able to use an element geared _exclusively_ towards blowing shit up is awesome and you are a terrible human being if you think otherwise /tongueincheek

And, if anyone can't figure it out, Nadeshiko is supposed to be Yamato (or Tenzo, whatever). Because, y'know, _yamato nadeshiko__._ XP

Lastly, OMGWTFBBQLOL this has nearly breached one hundred thousand (100,000) views. That is crazy, and has only been possible because of the support of you crazy awesome bastards (and maybe some crazy awesome bitches too, I dunno). Seriously, I still haven't finished sorting through all the reviews and alerts in my inbox. You guys are GREAT. :D

**Updated: **11-17-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	14. Got Wood?

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_naruto has wood to spare_)

* * *

It tickled. The blades of grass in the training field tickled Nadeshiko's nether regions with their movements. Her pussy was bare as she sat on the grass in a cross-legged lotus position, as was every other part of her body. The only thing she was actually wearing was her forehead protector.

Her skin was rosy from exposure, and the nipples of her modest B-cup breasts pointed like an arrow at Naruto Uzumaki, who was seated opposite her. He was not naked.

And, strictly speaking, Nadeshiko had no reason to be in the buff right now, either. It wasn't doing anything to improve her teaching and it didn't particularly illustrate anything (except maybe that even a plain Jane like her could be downright sexy under the right circumstances), yet still she was doing it like this. And, even while channeling a mixture of earth and water chakra to illustrate for the blond how to best nature his energy as wood, she knew full well that there was only one reason she was naked.

So she could be ogled by him.

Yes, feeling Naruto's intent gaze on her naked form, seeing him leer so hungrily at her womanhood, made Nadeshiko get aroused oh so very much. Her clit ached with longing as she blended the Yin and Yang of water and earth in her belly, letting the new _wood_ flow up and out through her limbs, her modest life energy passing into the environment.

Of all ninjutsu elements, mokuton was perhaps the one most closely bound to nature and vigor. The purest essence of wood style was the creation of life, the nurturing of growing things. Already it thrilled her to possess such a rare and valued ability, and the warm glow in her abdomen whenever she put a small part of herself into the miraculous genesis of a living thing, the creation of a growing tree out of nothing but her own chakra, was very much how she fancied motherhood to feel.

In a sense, the trees she made with her ninjutsu were like her own children.

And naturally, using her mokuton jutsu for Naruto, displaying the creation of life for this gorgeous, virile young man, made Nadeshiko so horny. She consciously linked wood style with motherhood, the creation of a tree with the birthing of a child. The plants she made with her ninjutsu possessed her genetic material, albeit the arboreal equivalent. In a very literal sense, the trees she made _were_ her children, her saplings, her daughters and sons.

So doing this for Naruto naturally made her horny. It made her imagination leap to thoughts of making other kinds of children with him, of creating more _animal_ forms of life with his help.

Her pussy was soaking wet as she clapped her hands together in a snake seal.

"_Wood Style_..." she murmured, blushing in spite of herself under the knowing gaze of Naruto's glistening sapphires. "_Arboreal Genesis_."

Naruto watched intently, eyes turning yellow and becoming lined with orange pigment. He could feel how the chakra in Nadeshiko's body was being twisted and molded as it was channeled into the ground through her legs and... well, her _fanny_. Like both the earth and water styles of ninjutsu, Naruto knew from experience that wood style chakra was almost always channeled out through the extremities, as in either the hands or the feet.

Nadeshiko's chakra pooled and concentrated, for a few seconds, in a point in the ground between her and Naruto. When the energy in that spot reached critical saturation, the first big rush of chakra now dwindled to just a slim thread linking Nadeshiko to the small, globular accumulation of elemental power, the natural properties of mokuton began to be expressed.

A sapling – a small, living sprout – spontaneously generated from the wood natured chakra. It was small at first, very small, nearly microscopic, but it grew quickly as Nadeshiko channeled more of her chakra into it. Compared to the initial investment, it took only fraction of the energy to make the plant grow now that it existed in the soil. It was life in fast forward as a small root network spread out from the point of genesis in milliseconds, the trunk of the minuscule sapling bursting up from the soil, thickening and lengthening much like something else did at the sound of Nadeshiko's lewd moaning.

Branches quickly, well, _branched out_ from the plant's central body, leaves sprouting from the woody tendrils to catch the light of the sun. Roots began sucking in water and minerals from the ground, but still most of the growth was fueled by Nadeshiko's chakra. The plant twisted and writhed in an almost grotesque fashion, now a foot tall, now two, now four, now eight. It stopped at nine and half foot high, after a brief stretch of time that could not have been more than four seconds total, a modestly sized young tree of healthy girth and foliage.

Naruto let out a low whistle in spite of himself, admiring the honestly amazing spectacle of the tree growing. With his sage mode, he could actually feel the plant beginning to synchronize with the natural energy around it. Though Nadeshiko herself could not use senjutsu, Naruto could tell that the tree had actually begun mixing the chakra she poured into it with the ambient natural energy. Not a conscious action on anyone's part, but rather a fundamental mechanical reaction. Trees were, of all life forms, among the longest lived and slowest moving. They naturally accumulated natural energy simply by existing, and introducing compatible human chakra into that system would result in the creation of sage chakra.

This was, it seemed, how mokuton ninjutsu could create _life_. The reasoning was a bit circular, but it made sense. More than just an elemental affinity, wood style was a natural connection with trees, a one in a million compatibility with these all but alien life forms. Plants were in a whole other kingdom from animals, more different from humans than humans were from earthworms. On a cellular level, flora were something entirely apart from fauna.

The First Hokage had been so attuned to trees, by the end of his life, that his DNA was as much plant as it was animal. His cells were a strange hybrid somewhere between two wholly separate kingdoms of life. Structurally, his body's tissues completely defied conventional taxonomy. Senjutsu and mokuton ninjutsu had so morphed his body that, on a cellular level, he was almost as much tree as man.

...not that Naruto really understood what all this sciencey shit meant. All he knew was that wood style ninjutsu was clearly something more complicated than just combining two different elements.

Although one could argue as much for _any_ advanced element. The reason they were kekkei genkai, more often than not, was because of certain physiological peculiarities that were necessary for melding separate elements of chakra. Chakra was a much physical as spiritual, and there was a metabolic component to the art of nature transformation. It was a certain unique property within one's body, a genetic quirk which biased one's chakra towards certain elemental modes. And advanced elements were a step up from this, something which required the body to become a little bit more like the element it molded.

There were theories to what these particular peculiarities might be best described as, but that was neither here nor there. Again, Naruto only had a general idea of what this all meant.

And, as it was, he was a little distracted by the sight of his mokuton tutor coming all over the grass.

"Ahhh!" cried out Nadeshiko, eyes wide and cheeks pink, moaning loudly as her juices rushed out from her vagina. Her nectar doused the grass where she sat, fluid bending blades under the force of ejaculation. She was breathing heavily, her skin slick with sweat, whimpering piteously as she felt Naruto behold her in this humiliating state. She was vulnerable and aroused, her body ready to surrender itself at the drop of a hat to Naruto Uzumaki.

"Captain...?" said the blond, walking around the trunk of the tree to get a better look at Nadeshiko. He had the beginnings of a smirk on his face when he saw more clearly the state of her body, and got an empathic flash of what she was feeling at that moment.

His smirk widened into a shit-eating grin, and his eyes twinkled mischievously as a tent started to be pitched in his trousers.

"You came," he said, a note of smugness in his voice. But there was also a touch of confusion. "...from using that justu? That's a surprise. Never pegged _you_ for a perv, Nadeshiko-taichou."

The brunette's blush deepened. A lusty smile crossed her face, and she glanced up into the blond's eyes.

"Well," she said, smiling as she leaned backwards on the grass, holding herself up with her arms. Pushing out her chest and spreading her legs, she continued, "I guess there's a lot you don't know about me, Naruto."

The way she said these words was suggestive enough to make the blond get a bit hornier himself. The bulge in his trousers swelled more, now unmistakable for anything but his goodly-sized, semi-erect manhood.

"Mm, is that so?" He took a step towards her, a playful glint in his eyes.

"Oh, most definitely," she replied huskily, giving him bedroom eyes and a come-hither grin. "We do all _kinds_ of things in the ANBU." She licked her lips, inching her hips a little forward while Naruto got down on his knees in front of her, leering at her naked body with obvious mirth in his eyes.

"Kagome-sensei's told me lots of stories about her ANBU days," Naruto remarked conversationally, glancing briefly at the tattoo on Nadeshiko's upper arm.

Nadeshiko smirked. "What kinds of stories?"

Naruto returned the smirk with interest. "Oh, you know. Orgies, BDSM, raping captured enemies, seducing officers, sleeping with marks before killing them. The usual stuff, right?"

The brunette laughed, a musical, lilting sound. "Right," she said. "Kagome-sempai always did focus on the... more _sexual_ side of the job. She was a very _attentive _mentor."

She winked suggestively, and Naruto growled with delight.

"_Nice_," he said. "She really likes butt play, doesn't she? Always sneaking her fingers here and there... Heheh."

Nadeshiko cocked an eyebrow, intrigued. "She does that to you, too?"

Naruto scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah... She really gets a kick out of seeing her partner squirm."

"It is _sublime_, though," Nadeshiko purred. "Oh, I haven't gotten that from her in years..."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, I guess it is nice to mix things up once in a while." He cast his eyes playfully up and down Nadeshiko's naked body, taking in the rather nice view.

Casually, he placed a hand on her thigh and _squeezed_. She moaned lewdly, the sound greatly arousing as she squirmed a little under his hand.

"Ohhh," she groaned. "Yeah... Just like that..." She bucked her hips, grunting and panting.

"You're a naughty girl," Naruto purred amusedly, and he scootched his hand up and back to grab a handful of the brunette's firm, round ass. "You get off on that," he told her. "You like being felt up, don't you? What a little whore."

"Yessss," Nadeshiko hissed through grit teeth. "I am a whore! A filthy, shameless whore!"

"You want this, don't you?" Naruto remarked, using a subtle application of kyuubi chakra through his erection to unzip his trousers from the inside. His cock, lined with veins and throbbing mightily, sprang out from its confines. "You'll do anything for this." He grabbed one of her breasts with his free hand and fondled it roughly.

"Yes, yes!" Nadeshiko cried. "I want it! I need it! Oh, God! I need your dick so bad! I want you inside me!" she wailed without any sense of shame.

"Beg for it," Naruto told her with a feigned callousness. "Beg me to fuck you, and maybe I'll let you have it."

"Fuck me!" she pleaded immediately at the top of her lungs, a theatrically desperate wail that rose high in the air. "God, fuck me! I Please! I'll do anything, Naruto! Naruto-sama! Please I need your cock! I need you inside me! I'll do anything you want, just fuck me!"

Naruto grinned, getting further aroused by this dirty talk.

"Well, alright," he said, as though making a grudging concession. "If you _really _want it that bad..."

Nadeshiko squealed delightedly, and she presented herself eagerly, giving Naruto his choice of delights. She lifted her hips, spreading her buttocks and showing him her tight anus, while also spreading apart the lips of her soaking wet cunt.

Naruto licked his lips, hungrily eyeing the options Nadeshiko was presenting him with. Her pussy was tempting, to be sure, but she had also indicated an enjoyment of anal play. Not everyone liked having his dick shoved up their aft end (at first), so if she was willing to give him the option, well then he was willing to take it.

"Roll over," he told her, moving himself into position. She gladly did so, perceiving what he intended to do.

Getting on all fours, Nadeshiko gladly wiggled her ass, teasingly shaking it to entice Naruto in. It worked like a charm, and he gripped her hips tightly before thrusting his cock between her buttocks. Her impaled her asshole, making her scream in pleasure, and that was just the start.

He rocked his hips like a ship in a hurricane, ravaging the interior of her posterior as he ravished her with his dick. He smacked her toned thighs as he fucked her, spanking and groping her athletic hips while he smacked her tight ass against his pelvis.

Nadeshiko was screaming and moaning in ecstasy. Naruto's manhood stretched out her asshole like a log in a sock, and her tits were being scraped back and forth against the grass from the rocking motion of her body as the blond had his way with her. The blades of grass scratched and tickled her peaky, sensitive nipples, making her even hornier and wetter.

She came a number of times from his masterful ministrations, his rough and tumble treatment of her needy, aching body. Her thighs were drenched with her nectar, and her knees and elbows were being rubbed raw on the coarse ground, to say nothing of her bosom.

She was loving this experience, and urging Naruto on deeper and faster and harder. She didn't know whether it lasted minutes or decades, but either way this sex was maybe the best in her life. It felt incredible, unbelievable, and when Naruto finally came, shooting his load up inside her ass, well Nadeshiko collapsed with one final, massive orgasm.

Naruto pulled out of her with a wet sound, a bit of overflowing spooge leaking out of her back door. Grinning, he gave her a final smack on the ass.

"_Ahn!_" she squealed, her eyes widening. She lost all strength in her limbs, and collapsed onto the grass, spent and exhausted, but satisfied.

"That was fun!" Naruto chirped, getting back up. His dick was still erect, but the sun was near its zenith in the sky above. "I'd love to stay and chat, too, but I have a date with Tenten and a naked apron at Ichiraku's."

Nadeshiko moaned unintelligibly. It sounded vaguely like _"Have a good day."_ Or maybe _"That's a good lay."_ It wasn't entirely clear.

Naruto laughed, waving goodbye. Casually, he willed another twenty-five shadow clones into existence. Each one had an erection sticking out of their unzipped pants, because that was how Naruto looked at that moment.

"Work on that wood style, you guys," he informed the clones. They just shot him irritable glances, though. Darkly glowering, they nodded silently at their erections, and Naruto rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine," he muttered. "_Harem Jutsu_."

In a puff of smoke, twenty-five buck naked 'Naruko' shadow clones appeared. By all accounts, they were smoking hot blonde babes with racks and booties and everything else to rival even the sexiest women in the elemental nations. The only difference was that they all had dicks, because that was that one constant of Naruto no matter what form he took with _henge_.

"Could you girls get those idiots off?" he told the group of futa-Narukos. The buxom beauties, themselves horny and erect, could not bend over fast enough before they too got their sexy jutsu asses stuffed full of kage bunshin cock.

Seeing the clones get down to business, Naruto turned and walked away. For some, this might have been a surreal thing, but Naruto's empathic powers already let him feel whatever the women around him felt. He was no stranger to what it felt like for ladies on the receiving of his dick, which was a big part of the reason he was such a masterful lover.

So, erect and needing to get to Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto focused and used hiraishin. He appeared instantaneously at his reserved seat in the establishment, the largest and most popular restaurant in all the Land of Fire, with lovely waitresses from all over. The building covered an entire city block, and most people needed to book a reservation at least two days in advance to get any kind of good seating.

Smiling, Naruto looked one of the floor to ceiling windows that comprised the four walls of his private "booth". He had the entire top floor of Ichiraku's _permanently _reserved for himself and anyone accompanying him. Because of a huge favor he had done for Ayame, the owner's daughter, back when he was young, the blond got a blanket ninety percent discount off of _everything_ on the menu.

Naturally, he ate here whenever he could. He was also an extremely generous tipper, and well over half of his income usually got funneled directly into his tab so that he didn't have to worry about waiting for the bill. He could just pop in, eat, and pop back out whenever he wanted, day or night (the place being open all hours of the day, and manned by a staff of the finest ramen chefs from across the continent, all of whom studied fervently under Ayame and her mother).

And out of all the facets of Infinite Tsukuyomi, truly _this_ was the single biggest indicator of this world being Naruto's fantasy ideal. Because: _ramen_.

* * *

A/N: What? Did you really think that, in a world modeled off of Naruto's subconscious fantasies, Ichiraku's would still be just a _stall?_ Haha, you _silly_.

And, yes, Naruto's sexy jutsu is, in this world, futanari. Maybe full on hermaphroditic, too, I dunno. This was pointed out several chapters back, in that clip-scene with Anko, but I wouldn't be surprised if some people missed it.

If futanari Narukos being bum-fucked by Naruto shadow clones weirds you out, well, good for you. I guess. Just be glad I haven't been including my _number one_ fetish.

...and, no. By "number one fetish", I do NOT mean watersports... although that _can _be kinky, under the right circumstances...

...well, either way, just be glad I ain't been trying to shove vore in here. Chiefly because I know that would probably alienate a majority of my present audience, and would hardly even make sense in the setting of this fic.

**ALSO** we have officially breached 100k hits on this fic! WOO! :DDD

**Updated: **11-19-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	15. A Very Seinfeldian Chapter

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_very talky_)

* * *

Tenten was waiting for Naruto at the table. She wore a white and gold cheongsam with a hemline that stopped several inches from her knees, and her hair was loose. The long, silky brown tresses hung down to the swell of Tenten's bum, accentuating the tantalizing curvature of her hips and posterior. This was a very attractive look for her.

"Damn, she looks _good_..." Naruto whispered under his breath. This was his first time seeing the weapons mistress with her hair down, and he had to admit that it made a very stunning difference for the usually somewhat plain kunoichi.

He walked over, hands in his pockets. His dick, still sticking out of his pants from his 'training' session with Nadeshiko-taichou, bobbed a little with his movements, and it twitched delightedly at the sight of Tenten's smooth, creamy thighs. He saw her turn her head, and saw her eyes widen infinitesimally when she noticed him.

"Hey, Tenten-chan!" he greeted cheerfully, well aware of where the girl was looking. It always excited his dick to have an audience, and it _loved_ to show off.

He sat down next to her, and Tenten licked her lips.

"_Hi_, Naruto," she said suggestively, giggling pervertedly when she felt his hip press against hers. She planted a hand on his lap, right next to the blond's penis. "Nice to see you could make it."

Naruto grinned, feeling Tenten's hand brush against his dick. "No problem!" he said. "I _always_ keep my promises."

Tenten smiled. "So you do..."

Her fingers curled casually around Naruto's shaft.

* * *

"I think I'm pregnant," Hinata told Itami and Sasuki with undisguised cheer in her tone and expression. The eyes of the two Uchiha girls immediately widened, and Sasuki in particular had a gleam of jealousy in her onyx orbs.

"Pregnant?" said the younger of the two sisters, casting a dubious glance down to Hinata's abdomen. "You don't look like it."

"Oh, it just happened today," Hinata replied. "But I'm ovulating today, and Naruto-kun and I made love so thoroughly... he was even using his Kyuubi Chakra."

Itami nodded in understanding. "I see," she said quietly. "So it hasn't been confirmed, but you have reason to believe that it will be so."

Sasuki was scowling, though. "I don't see how this concerns _me_," she muttered a little bitterly, glowering enviously at Hinata.

"She is your friend, Sasuki," Itami gently rebuked her younger sister. "Clearly she wanted to share this wonderful news with you."

"She doesn't even _know_ if she's pregnant, yet," Sasuki replied. "She's getting all worked up, but we don't _really_ know whether she was actually knocked up. Have you even taken a pregnancy test, Hinata?"

"It was just this morning," the violette replied. "It takes more time than that for pregnancy to become evident."

"His sperm might have not even reached any egg cells yet," added Itami.

"If any _will_ reach," retorted Sasuki. "You girls are too optimistic. Even under ideal conditions, there's no guarantee that anything will get fertilized."

Itami smiled knowingly at her baby sister. "Are you just being negative because every time _you_ have tried to get pregnant with Naruto's children, you've gotten no results?"

Sasuki flushed angrily.

"It's a matter of probability," she said. "_Probability_. Nothing is certain, pregnancy least of all."

Hinata smiled softly. "I see," she said. "But have you ever _told_ Naruto-kun that you want his babies?"

Sasuki was silent. She knew what the Hyuuga girl was getting at.

"If I ask, he can make it all but sure..." she muttered half to herself. "Yeah, I've heard that before. But I'd rather leave this to nature. Having him stack the deck like that... it's almost cheating."

Hinata gave Sasuki a sheepish smile. "Then I suppose you will just have to call me a cheater."

Sasuki froze, eyes wide. "You _didn't_," she hissed, disbelieving. "Fucking him while he's using that bijuu chakra, that's one thing. But, actually _telling him_ that you want to have his babies...? Shit. You probably _are_ pregnant," she conceded, sounding a little unhappy.

While they were friends, after a fashion, Hinata and Sasuki were _also_ rivals. Specifically for Naruto's love. Next to Hinata, Sasuki had been one of the first girls their age to get interested in the blond, and her affections for him ran incredibly deep. Of all the girls their age that they knew, probably only the Kazekage could rival Hinata and Sasuki in the intensity of their feelings for Naruto Uzumaki.

"Sasuki... chan..." Hinata said quietly. "If it really upsets you that much, you could go to Naruto-kun and ask him to impregnate you as well. I mean, if there's anyone I could gladly share him with, out of all the girls in the world..."

She blushed, smiling at Sasuki. Sasuki blushed a little bit too, in response.

"Ah..." she said. "That does sound tempting. I really do want to have his..." She trailed off, and frowned. "...but, _share_ him? Hinata... why would you even be in the position to say that?" she asked. "It's not like you're mar...ried... to..."

Sasuki's jaw dropped.

"You _didn't_," she gasped.

"I'm sorry, Sasuki..." Hinata said weakly. "But I asked him to marry me."

It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

"He didn't say no," said Sasuki. "Did he? He's not the kind of person to say no. Not to you." She swore. "Dammit. So is this it? You win, you're his first wife?"

Hinata blushed. "I... no, nothing is set in stone, yet..." she said. "All we did was talk about it."

"With Naruto that's all you _need_ to do, though," Sasuki pointed out. "He stands by his word. If he said that he would marry you, then you might as well just start calling yourself Mrs Uzumaki."

"Maybe, but there's still time for you, Sasuki-chan. If you tell Naruto-kun what you want... well, I won't stop you. I'll support you as much as you need me to."

Sasuki was silent for a moment, pensive, sitting there topless on her bed, wearing just shorts and a bra.

"Even if that means not being his first wife?" she said at length. "I mean, you liked him even before I did."

"If it were someone else, it might be different," Hinata conceded, "but if it's you, Sasuki-chan, then I can accept it."

"You're too nice," remarked Itami, standing a little aside from the two.

"Me and Sasuki are best friends," replied Hinata. "I respect her, and..." She blushed. "...well, I really like her, too... " She cast a shy glance at the Uchiha lass's modestly generous cleavage, breasts masterfully lifted and separated by that bra.

Sasuki smirked, seeing where Hinata was looking. She cast her own gaze at the Hyuuga's own large bosom, concealed though it was within that sweatshirt.

"You're not half-bad yourself," she conceded wryly, and she leaned forward. A hand reached up to stroke Hinata's cheek. Onyx black eyes stared into milky opals, and she caught a faint whiff of seductive lavender.

She pulled Hinata's face down, leaning forward and up. Her lips met hers, smiling lustily as she tasted the tongue of the Hyuuga heiress. For several wonderful seconds, she kissed her friend and love-rival, hungrily exploring Hinata's mouth. Their tongues danced together, and she smiled against her rival's lips.

At last, Sasuki pulled back.

"Okay," she said. "You have a good point. I'm not out of this game yet. You may have started it, but I'll be the one to finish in first place."

Hinata smiled, a little dreamy from the surprising intensity of the kiss. While her heart still belonged ultimately to Naruto, that was not to say that she did not have other attractions as well. She felt warm and fuzzy, and she looked content as she eyed Sasuki.

"May the best woman win," she said softly and warmly.

* * *

At the same time that Hinata and Sasuki were agreeing, in so many words, to compete for Naruto's affections, the blond himself was preoccupied with a very different sort of matter.

"Gah... how am I supposed to choose between them?" Naruto opined morosely. "It's impossible... they both mean so much to me. I could never pick one over the other!"

Tenten nodded absentmindedly, her attention more focused on the array of mirrors she'd set up at the table earlier to let herself get a multiple angle view of Naruto's crotch – or, failing that, give Naruto a not-so-discreet peek up her skirt. She wasn't really paying that much attention to what her date was saying. The second she'd seen that he was letting his dick hang out for anyone to see, the weapons mistress had been unable to concentrate on anything else.

...Not to say that Naruto wasn't fun to talk to, or just listen to, but that body of his was simply too damn distracting for Tenten to pay attention to anything else.

She drooled a little, seeing the veiny surface of Naruto's penis twitch and throb. He was still fully erect, and Tenten greatly appreciated the view.

"I don't know..." Naruto muttered. "I mean, both of them have been such a big part of my life. As far back as I can remember, they've been there for me. No matter what happens, I can always trust them to make a bad day _good_."

"Mmm..." hummed Tenten absentmindedly, thoroughly zoned out as she ogled the multiple reflected angle views of the blond jinchuuriki's erection. "Why don't you just have both? I mean, you've got a big enough appetite to have those two, and a dozen more, just in one sitting..."

Naruto shook his head, and let out an exasperated sigh. "No!" he said. "Don't you get it? _Principle._ It's the _principle_ of the matter. I know I can have both, and a lot more. And I'm sure I will! But, the one I have first is important. The first one affects every one to come after. The first sets a standard, and has, like, a moral significance. I could have a hundred of them if I wanted, but the first still has to be chosen very carefully, you know?"

"No, I don't," said Tenten bluntly, engrossed in her furtive bird watching. "It's not like you're picking the first _hokage_, right? It's just ramen. Pick something off the menu at random if you're having that much trouble choosing."

Naruto pouted. "You're lucky you're pretty, Tenten-chan."

The brunette blushed, and she giggled. Distracted at last from ogling her date's junk, she looked up into the blond's eyes.

"I could say the same for _you_, lover boy," she joked, giving him a playful wink. Naruto's scowl faded, and he chuckled.

"Do you want me to jerk off in your ramen?" he said, playfully threatening.

"Oh, yes!" said Tenten with a smile, eyes twinkling. "That would be _wonderful_. Mm-mm. Ramen that's had your dick in it? That sounds way better than anything on the menu."

Naruto chortled. "Then maybe I'll have some Tenten-flavored ramen!" he joked. "That pussy of yours _is_ pretty fucking tasty." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, you _perv~_" Tenten giggled huskily, leaning back in her seat. She teased the hem of her cheongsam up her thighs under the table, subtly adjusting the mirrors to let Naruto in on the color of her underwear, or lack thereof.

"Decided to go commando today, huh?" Naruto remarked, glancing into the mirror next to his elbow. He was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. "When did you even set this up, actually?"

"I came early," was the only explanation Tenten offered.

Naruto smirked.

"You need better endurance, then," he teased bawdily, making the brunette blush. "Learn to be fashionably late."

"Even Kagome-sensei doesn't take as long to come somewhere as _you_ do," Tenten responded in a playful jibe.

Naruto whistled. "And how would _you_ know how long it takes her to come somewhere?"

"Gal-sensei can be _very_ talkative, if you know how to persuade her."

"Mmm... Yeah, she's real intense. Awesome bod, but fucking _intense_."

"Really?" Tenten looked at him disbelievingly. "You were even... y'know... with _Gal-sensei?_ Eww. She's a total _butter face_."

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno, I think she's hot."

Tenten quirked an eyebrow, staring disbelievingly. "You're _joking_," she said. "What about..." she gestured to her eyebrows, fanning her hands out.

"They're a charm point," Naruto said noncommittally. "Y'know, like a mole on the cheek. Not perfect, but it's part of her appeal."

"That would have to be one big, _hairy_ mole," said Tenten wryly.

Naruto shrugged. "Well, either way, her face wasn't where I was looking most of the time. That spandex leaves _nothing_ to the imagination."

Tenten grimaced. "I don't know, but the muscles are a turn off, for me," she said. "Yeah, she has the most perfectly toned ass in the village, but Gal-sensei is all, well, _muscular_. Too bulky and... I dunno, _unfeminine_, I guess you'd say."

"Unfeminine?" said Naruto. "With _those_ tits?"

Tenten laughed. "Big breasts aren't automatically feminine, you know! Some people might even argue that _smaller_ breasts are more feminine than the kind of over-sized cantaloupes that Gal-sensei sports."

"They're womanly, though," said Naruto. "And bouncy. _Very_ bouncy."

Tenten shook her head, but she was smiling. "I still say you're crazy."

"Maybe I am," said Naruto, shrugging nonchalantly, "But I think I should go ahead and decide what kind of ramen to start off with..." And indeed, as soon as he said this, Tenten noticed Ayame – wearing nothing but an apron and her little white hat – approaching.

"I could sure go for some of _that_," she whistled, ogling the waitress and part-time stripper's fine, girl-next-door body. She licked her lips, and out of the corner of his eye, reflected in the mirror, Naruto could see Tenten's fingers brushing up intentionally against her visibly moist slit.

He smirked.

"I thought you wanted dick-flavored, though~" he teased, giving his date a shit-eating grin.

"Why can't I have both?" asked Tenten meaningfully, giving Naruto a perverted smile.

The blond flicked his eyes up and down Tenten's frame, and his grin widened a little more.

"Tell you what," he said. "I'll see about getting you some of that, if you let me have some Tenten-flavored ramen."

"Oh yeah," said Tenten. "They do have something like that on the menu, don't they? The waitress ramen?"

"The one where they cook up a tub-sized bowl of ramen, then have someone strip down, shower off, and basically bathe in the broth and noodles while the customers eat?" said Naruto. "Yeah, they do. It's their claim to fame, even."

"It's real expensive, though, isn't it? Like, only really rich people can afford to eat it regularly."

Naruto smirked. "Maybe expensive for a lesser person. But for Naruto Uzumaki? I can practically get the whole thing for free." He paused a moment as Ayame finally reached the table he and Tenten were waiting at. "You know the shadow clone jutsu?" he asked his date.

"Yeah, I do," said Tenten. "It's really useful for information gathering, after all. Steep on chakra, though."

"But just one shouldn't be any problem for you," Naruto guessed.

Tenten nodded. "Yeah, my limit is three at a time, but one I can make without any trouble."

"Then what do you say to making me some Tenten-flavored ramen, and I'll give you some Naruto-and-Ayame-flavored," he said. "That sound fair?"

Tenten smiled suggestively.

"I think I can manage."

* * *

A/N: Another chapter where very little _actual_ smut happens, but Sasuki and Hinata kissing should at least be enough warrant some wolf whistles. Hehe, next chapter will either be very fun for me to write, or very hard.

These two things are not necessarily exclusive. ;P

**Updated: **12-1-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	16. A Little Freak Out

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_ramen ramen, ramen ramen ramen~_)

* * *

Preparing the specialty of Ichiraku Ramen was a tricky thing. Because ramen tended to be served hot enough to burn most people, it took very special conditioning for the waitresses to be able to handle to procedure. Endurance to high temperatures had to be built up gradually, but most wait-staff would not stay on at the average restaurant long enough to develop that kind of ability.

It was, in all honesty, a harsh, grueling process that weeded out all but the best and the most fit among Ichiraku's waitresses. Out of the fifty or sixty waitresses who worked full time at the restaurant, only a handful were certified to do this, and there were only a few more if you counted the hundred-plus part time employees. Those of the waitresses who were now or at one time had been kunoichi often likened the selection process to the chuunin exams – intensely competitive, and with a very high chance of hospitalization.

And indeed, being able to endure the near-boiling temperatures of the ramen _was_ very much an ability that you'd be more likely to find in a kunoichi than a random civilian. Ayame was one of the few non-shinobi employees certified to act as a human ramen topping, and that could mostly be attributed to training for it from a young age.

She was one of the most popular items on the menu, too, thanks to her part time job at the Playful Fox. Her work as a stripper was in no small way a form of advertising for herself at Ichiraku, and this regular publicity did much to run her price sky high. Because a waitress could only be in one human ramen at a time, and Ichiraku's was a very popular restaurant, ordering one was often done more like an auction than anything else – the highest bidder would get to have the waitress in her ramen, and everyone else would either have to try and get someone else or settle for regular ramen.

Some critics of the restaurant considered this a degrading and objectifying process, but most of the waitresses who did it (who were usually among the biggest proponents of this) would simply point to the extraordinarily high commission they got. Even the least demanded ones would earn as much as twenty-five percent of the final bid plus any gratuity, and the ones at the top of the boards were usually sitting pretty with as much as _sixty_ percent of the final price, which was usually several times the stated asking price.

Because of how specialized a job this was, and how much training it took for someone to be able to handle the heat, Ichiraku rarely took custom requests without having participants sign thorough liability waivers which placed any and all responsibility for possible resultant injury squarely on the heads of the customers.

Even Tenten, using a shadow clone, while accompanying _Naruto_, had to sign such a waiver.

It was just company policy. The only reason Naruto himself didn't need to fill out such a form was because he had himself been fully certified for this – he actually volunteered for free at the restaurant just to show his support, and when he did the bidding would reach absolute fever pitch. Such events were usually announced weeks in advance, with plenty of publicity throughout the Land of Fire and its neighboring countries, and usually the proceeds went either to charity, the village, or once in a blue moon even Ichiraku Ramen itself.

The last person to order a bowl of Naruto ramen had been the daimyo of the Land of Spring (formerly _yuki no kuni_), and the final bid had been equal to the price of around thirty S-rank missions. The cause then had been to find a cure for a very rare kind of degenerative disease peculiar to pure-blooded members of the Kaguya clan.

Kimmiko-chan had been _immensely_ grateful for that.

But, as it was, shadow clones of Naruto and Tenten were currently waiting naked in the kitchen along with Ayame, and they were being washed down by one of the part-time cooks as the two furo-sized bowls of ramen were being prepared for them.

Tenten shivered and squeaked, feeling the hands of the admittedly pretty cook wandering rather liberally over her body.

"No need to be so handsy, babe," she remarked to the rather plain bluenette, squirming a little at the feeling of the girl's hands vigorously kneading and scrubbing her ass.

Naruto, whose erection was being very attentively polished by Ayame, laughed a little.

"There is, actually," he said cheerfully. "Doing that kind of stuff helps bring out the flavor, you know?"

Tenten, who was getting rather wet downstairs, blushed a tiny bit. "Oh," she said, before nodding, the blush receding as she smiled. "I see. Yeah, that makes sense."

She winked at him, and grabbed the cook's hands, guiding them over her body.

"If you want to get me good and juicy," said the weapons mistress huskily, "I would suggest doing..."

She whispered into the cook's ear. The poor girl's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and she blushed a glowing scarlet.

Ayame laughed.

* * *

A little while later, the bowls were wheeled out of the kitchen. Steam rose from them in great clouds, and as the dishes approached Naruto and Tenten felt the air get noticeably warmer and more humid, like the inside of a sauna, almost. Looking over the rims of the two giant bowls, they could see themselves each bathing in one of the ramens.

The Naruto shadow clone and Ayame were having passionate sex in the steaming hot broth, noodles draped over their naked bodies and wrapped around their entangled limbs. Ayame's moans were as loud as screams, the shadow clone's cock vigorously tenderizing her delicious cunt while its hands kneaded her breasts forcefully, massaging and teasing.

Tenten licked her lips, mouth watering at the sight of Ayame and the shadow clone of Naruto doing it in her ramen. She could see places where the clone's spunk had pooled around various toppings, and the smell of the pair's combined sex was truly overpowering.

In Naruto's bowl, meanwhile, the shadow clone of Tenten was floating on her back, smiling invitingly at the blond. She had narutomaki covering her nipples like ramen-themed pasties, and she was masturbating herself with a radish, of all things.

"You look _delicious_, Tenten-chan," remarked Naruto, his eyes raking up and down her kage bunshin's naked body.

"So do you, Naruto," replied the weapons mistress, licking her lips as she shamelessly ogled his shadow clone's toned muscles, and Ayame's fine-ass body. "You _both_ look good enough to eat," she purred.

Grabbing her chopsticks, Tenten deftly plucked up a slice of chicken that had been sticking to Ayame's round, cushy bum. She plopped the thin, perfectly cooked piece of meat on her outstretched tongue, taking it into her mouth and chewing. Tenten's eyes widened, and she moaned, unable to help herself. The flavor of the meat was _incredible_, so tender and juicy, with just the right kind of seasoning and cooking to maximize the cut's potential.

She ate some more of the ramen, picking enthusiastically around the continually writhing and moaning bodies of Ayame and Naruto's shadow clone. It was delicious. The spices of the broth were subtle but flavorful, the arrangement of the toppings was colorful and enticing, and the noodles were utterly flawless in their taste and texture – not too soft, but not too hard, and in just the right proportion to the rest of the dish.

Of course, that much by itself was only par for the course as far as the ramen of Ichiraku Ramen, but what made _this_ truly magnificent (aside from the added flavor of those two gorgeous slabs of meat and their mingling ejaculate) was how it was put together. How your food looked was almost as important as the actual taste – indeed, the appearance of a meal could greatly influence how it tasted to people – and the overall presentation of this meal was perfect. It was truly a masterpiece of culinary erotica, an experience that blended human beauty and the appeal of sexuality with subtle flavors and filling noodles.

It would be lie to say she didn't quickly find herself masturbating as she ate.

"Mmm..." Tenten moaned lewdly, sucking up some noodles that had gotten wrapped around the base of the Naruto clone's cock. "This is _delicious_."

Naruto, who was dipping some noodles and sliced veggies – held between his chopsticks – into the Tenten shadow clone's pussy for extra flavor, nodded and hummed in agreement.

"One of my favorites," he said, noisily slurping up his noodles. The shadow clone in his bowl was squirming in a mixture of agony and ecstasy, her skin bright red from the temperature of the ramen.

Tenten mischievously pinched one of Ayame's nipples between her chopsticks, plucking up a bit of tempura that had gotten stuck there. The waitress yelped, and moaned, coming in Tenten's ramen for the umpteenth time. "I think it might be my new favorite, too," she remarked cheerfully, before noshing the tempura with a bit of pork.

"It's expensive, though," Naruto helpfully reminded her, before playfully kissing the kunoichi's clone on the lips, swishing some of the delicious broth between their joined mouths. A few seconds of this later, he swallowed it down, and let the deeply blushing kage bunshin fall back into the soup.

While Tenten had barely made a dent in her own ramen, Naruto, with his voracious appetite for the noodle dish, was already down to pretty much just the broth and a few stray bits of meat or vegetables. And, in fact, he chose now to grab the bowl by its sides and – in a remarkably mundane display of his strength – lift it up to his mouth, tilting his head back to drink down the Tenten-flavored fluid. And the shadow clone in his bowl slid down to his mouth, her pussy colliding bodily into his lips when the broth was around half-drained.

"Ahhn...!" the clone squealed, eyes widening. She came explosively all over Naruto's face, the force of the impact against her womanhood pushing her to orgasm, before dispelling in a puff of white smoke, the crash disrupting the chakra that maintained the clone's structure beyond its ability to self-stabilize.

Naruto didn't take any particular notice of this, himself, being quite used to shadow clones and their quirks, but Tenten immediately stopped eating. Her eyes widened visibly as the clone's remaining chakra was reintegrated into her system, carrying with it the kage bunshin's memories.

The chopsticks fell from the weapon mistress's hands, and her face rapidly paled.

She let out a piercing shriek.

"What the hell?!" she screamed, whipping her head around wildly, suddenly wide-eyed and tense. She half jumped, half fell out of her seat, scrambling frantically, blindly over Naruto. "What the hell!?" she repeated, dropping into a combat stance as soon as she hit the floor, eyes moving this way and that as she seemingly frisked herself for a few seconds, before finally producing a kunai in her left hand.

Naruto was genuinely surprised and perplexed by this abrupt freak out from his date. "Tenten...?" he said uncertainly, getting up out of his seat. His erection still stood bare and proud, peeking out boldly from his as-yet-unzipped zipper.

The brunette stared at Naruto and his naked cock, disbelief evident in her eyes. Her mouth was agape, and her body was shaking.

"Wha... _What the actual goddamned Hell?!_" she shouted, practically hyperventilating. "N-Naruto...?! What are you doing... Wh-what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Anxiously, she clapped her hands together into a shaky ram seal. "Release!" she cried, wildly fluctuating her chakra. "Release!" she cried again, pushing harder, a visible glow coalescing around her form. "RELEA—"

She was stopped by the feeling of Naruto's hand on her shoulder.

"Tenten?" he said quietly, those bright and soulful blue eyes of his staring concernedly into Tenten's own. "Are you okay? What's the matter?"

A bit of the tension in the weapon mistress's frame evaporated. "I..." she murmured. "I... No! I'm _not_ okay!" she snapped weakly, shaking her head. "What's going on, Naruto? What are we doing here? Why aren't we still on the battlefield...?!"

The blond frowned. "What are you talking about, Ten-chan? We're on a date. Don't you remember?" he said. "And what do you mean, the battlefield?"

Tenten shook her head more frantically. "No..." she said. "No. No! This isn't right. Don't _you_ remember? Madara! That Tobi guy! The Fourth Shinobi World War! Isn't _any_ of this ringing a bell?!"

"Tenten..." Naruto murmured. "Calm down. You're delirious. We aren't at war. There hasn't been a war in almost twenty years. And there were only three big ninja wars. There was never a fourth."

The brunette shook her head again, but her movements were a little weak now. "No..." she muttered. "It was now... We were... we were fighting... against those Madara and Tobi guys. D-don't you remember...? Naruto, Neji _died!_ You saw it! You were right there when it happened...!"

Naruto frowned a little. "Do you mean Nejie-chan...?" he said softly, brow furrowed in confusion.

Tenten stared at him strangely. "Wha... Nejie...? No! Neji! _Neji Hyuuga!_ Don't you remember him? How could possibly have forgotten...?!"

Now it was Naruto's turn to look at Tenten strangely.

"_Him?_" he said, confused. "Ten-chan... There hasn't been a man other than me since the First Hokage. Did you hit your head, or something...?"

The weapon mistress's jaw dropped.

"_What?_" she said. "No, that's impossible...! Naruto, the First died _decades_ ago. What you're saying is utterly preposterous... it's completely impossible!" She groaned, then, clutching a hand to her forehead. "Ugh..." she grunted. "What... what are all these...? These _memories_..."

She shook her head, staggering weakly. She looked close to collapsing, but Naruto wrapped an arm around her to support the brunette.

"Memories...?" he said, frowning softly.

"Y-yeah..." Tenten murmured. "I... I don't know what's going on. It's like, like this world is all just an illusion..." She hissed, clenching her teeth and wincing. "It hurts... My head hurts..."

Naruto was quiet. Deciding to see what was wrong, he closed pulled up a bit of kyuubi chakra. Immediately, thanks to the physical contact with Tenten, he could feel everything she was feeling.

Her mind was overflowing. It felt like there were two lifetimes worth of memories inside her head, threatening to burst her psyche at the seams. They were so vivid, too. Just standing there, holding onto Tenten, he was getting so many flashes of similar yet contradictory memories. His extensive experience with the shadow clone jutsu was the only thing keeping the jinchuuriki standing as he was bombarded with image after image.

The world he saw in Tenten's memories was so strange, to him. There were men, there. Indeed, _most_ of Naruto's fellow ninja were men in these visions. And yet it was not a happy world. So much sadness and loss. Even just from Tenten's perspective, he saw a world of so much tragedy and woe. In these visions, there were so many people different or missing altogether, so much violence and strife.

It daunted Naruto, to see a world so much _worse_ than this one, and yet at the same time, it felt so _familiar..._

He shook his head. No. He didn't know what was going on, but surely these visions were just from some sort of nightmare, or genjutsu. They weren't completely dismal, yet there was so much that was _worse _than the world he knew that it seemed almost insidious, nefarious.

But before the cascade of images came to a halt, he was assaulted with one final vision. Two men: one with long spiky hair and two rinnegan eyes, and the other with much shorter hair and a distinctively scarred body, as well as one rinnegan and one sharingan. Even as men, he recognized these two immediately, but the impressions of fear and hate that he got from this image, all the innumerable negative emotions he felt Tenten associate with these two, set the tiniest seed of worry in his gut.

"Obi-chan..." he whispered. "...Mari-chan..." Despite himself, he frowned thoughtfully. Surely, this was just a constructed illusion, some kind of false memory...

...yet, he could not help but wonder. Doubt, if only the smallest hint of it, began to foster in his stomach.

He was sure it was nothing, but maybe he would have a word with Obi and Mari, once he got home. If Kumiko was successful in restoring their memories, then maybe they would know what all of this was about...

Hopefully this was just some kind of twisted joke.

"You okay, Ten-chan?" Naruto asked the brunette, once she had mostly calmed down.

"Yeah..." she said slowly, nodding her head. "I don't know what came over me..." She put a hand to the side of her head with a groan. "What happened?" she muttered. "My head is killing me, and I feel so weak and shaky... and my heart is beating so fast..."

She shivered weakly, leaning limply against Naruto. Her eyelids fluttered briefly up and down.

"You don't remember...?" Naruto whispered.

Tenten frowned softly. "Remember what? One second I'm eating some ramen, and the next I feel like I just ran a marathon, and I can't even stand up. Other than that, nothing. Why? Did something happen? My head kinda hurts..." she said softly, a faintly dream-like quality to her words.

Naruto was silent for a very long moment, deep in thought, perplexed and bemused. Finally, though, he spoke.

"No," he said softly. "Nothing happened."

Tenten's frown became a smile. "That's good..." she said dreamily, nuzzling her cheek into the crook of the blond's neck. "I feel horny," she purred, casually hiked up the hem of her cheongsam and pressing herself hard against his body. "I need you inside me so baaaad..." she moaned, rubbing her pussy greedily against his erect manhood.

"Mmm..." Naruto hummed absently. "That's nice." He cupped one of the brunette's now-bared buttocks in his hand, bringing another up to tease Tenten's breasts through the fabric of her dress. He bucked his hips against hers, inching himself inside.

Grunting, he started to bounce the kunoichi up and down on his shaft while Ayame watched, dutifully remaining silent in Tenten's ramen, diddling herself eagerly to the sight of the two ninja starting to go at it. And the incident with those strange memories soon faded into the back of Naruto's mind, all but forgotten in the face of some quality kunoichi poon.

* * *

A/N: What's this? PLOT? In MY smutbunny? IMPOSSIBLE. Well, _surely_ this won't amount to anything, right? Right? :D

**Updated: **12-9-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	17. Lilies in the Sand

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_no naruto this chapter, huh_)

* * *

Itami Uchiha was smiling warmly when she excused herself from her little sister's room. Sasuki and Hinata clearly needed some privacy right now as they... quote-unquote _"__worked out their differences."_

They were so passionate at that age. So filled with energy and verve. It reminded Itami a little bit of herself, before she joined the ANBU.

...she was a very early bloomer, okay? She and Shimizu got to exploring certain aspects of the body MUCH earlier than most of their peers. Her sharingan wasn't the only thing that started to bloom when she was seven.

"I remember when Shimizu and I were like that..." Itami mused nostalgically, pausing just a few feet outside the door to her sister's room, briefly listening to the pair as they talked.

"_Ohhh, Hinata... you're so good with your hands..._"

"_Hmmm, your skin is so _soft_, Sasuki-chan..._"

"_Ahhhn... I'm getting wet... You're making me so wet, down there..._"

"_Mmm, your nectar is so sweet... it tastes like honey._"

...what? Pillow talk is still a kind of talking.

Itami cheeks were flushed pink as she listened to the two, and the mental images in her mind were quite vivid. It got her burning up south of the border, to hear those two like this, and imagining the position they were might be in now that she had left the room was providing her with enough masturbation fodder to last a week, at the very least.

She stayed there for a few more seconds, just listening as her sister and Hinata bonded. It wasn't until she could feel the moisture beginning to soak through her panties that Itami finally left, headed for her own room and a small chest of "personal devices".

* * *

Sasuki was naked by this point, pinned to her bed beneath a surprisingly forceful Hinata. The Hyuuga girl herself had also discarded her outer layers, leaving her in panties and a transparent fishnet top through which her stiff, erect nipples were clearly visible.

"I'm surprised you can get away without wearing a bra..." commented Sasuki huskily, whimpering a little as Hinata trailed hungry nibbles down her neck. "Even with support, I still get backaches from my own breasts... I can't imagine what it must be like for _you_."

Hinata smiled softly, playfully giving Sasuki what basically amounted to a very sensual purple nurple. She pinched the girl's nipples between her middle and index fingers, then twisted them sharply, licking one of the more prominent bite marks on the Uchiha's slender, pale neck while she did so. Sasuki moaned weakly from this, and she bucked her hips. Her nether lips glistened with the moisture of her feminine arousal.

"I left it at work, actually..." Hinata murmured, remarkably suggestive in her tone of voice. Her milky amethyst eyes twinkled brightly.

"Oh, you were on today...?" said Sasuki, raising her hands to cup the Hyuuga's most generous assets through the effectively transparent fishnet of her top. "I can't believe I missed it."

"Mmm," Hinata moaned, luxuriating in the way Sasuki fondled her breasts, rolling them tenderly beneath the palms of her hands, squeezing them together and kneading the bountiful, creamy flesh with her slim, deft fingers. "I was helping Kushina-san and Kumiko-sempai train in some new acquisitons... Apparently, Naruto-kun recently got some slaves from Kumo."

Sasuki smiled lustily, seeing the way Hinata was reacting to her passionate ministrations. "Those girls from Kumo? Heheh, were they any good...?" She increased the intensity of her groping.

"Ohh, yessss," Hinata hissed, eyes squeezing tight as Sasuki sharply pinched her nipples. She felt an incredible ache in her pussy. "They were incredible..."

She moaned, cheeks bright red. Sasuki was driving her to madness with her fondling.

"I guess I should go watch them some time, then..." Sasuki purred lewdly, right before she felt an incredible sensation in her chest. Her eyes widened, her breasts feeling suddenly unimaginably sensitive to Hinata's attentions. "...Ahhhh!" she yelped, squealing and wriggling. "Gentle fist...?!" she moaned, feeling the chakra being injected into specific tenketsu in her chest. "N-no faaaAAAIIIIIR!"

She bit her lower lip. She was practically on the brink of coming. Hinata was using her clan techniques to stimulate her breasts well beyond what would normally be possible. The sensations were indescribable, and Sasuki was barely feeling coherent under the Hyuuga's sensual assault.

But two could play at this game.

Channeling some soft _raiton_ chakra into her fingertips, Sasuki imitated the pinch-tug-twist thing that Hinata had done to her nipples. The Hyuuga heiress immediately reacted.

"Ohhh!" she screamed. "OHHHHH! OH, YES! OH, BABY, YES!"

And only then did Sasuki let herself give in to the sensations.

"SOOOOO GOOOOOOD!" she shamelessly moaned. "GROPE ME MORE! AHHH! FUCK! MY TITS FEEL _INCREDIBLE...!_"

Hinata and Sasuki came simultaneously, from their assaulting and pleasuring of one another's breasts. Nectar gushed from their pussies, mingling betwixt them in a fragrant spray of female sex. They could smell it keenly, the potent perfume of this companionable intercourse between two rivals in love.

Hinata was panting, blushing heavily. Her nipples were still tingling from the mild electric current Sasuki had run through them. It hadn't been nearly as strong a shock as, say, hooking someone's nipples up to a car battery, but then those didn't exist as such in this world.

"No fair..." she mewled, falling down beside Sasuki on the bed, no longer on top of the girl. Though she still fondled the Uchiha's shapely C-cups. "You cheated, Sasuki-chan."

The Uchiha lass, herself in a similar state to Hinata, nonetheless managed a cocky smirk. "Really?" she said, removing one of her hands from Hinata's bosom, lowering it down to the Hyuuga's sopping wet privates. "Because I could feel you using some gentle fist tricks, yourself..."

Hinata blushed, partly from the comment, and partly from the way Sasuki was now petting her currently very sensitive womanhood. She was still a little raw from her earlier session with Naruto-kun, and it showed in the way her body was reacting to all of this sexual stimulus.

Sasuki quirked and eyebrow after a few seconds of silence from Hinata. The girl didn't look like she was about to say anything any time soon. She probably didn't have anything she COULD say, after being called out like—

Her train of thought was interrupted by the Hyuuga's plump, sweet lips mashing themselves hungrily against her own.

"Mmmm...!" she moaned, stunned by this sudden movement. Her fingers slipped straight into Hinata's pussy, more out of surprise than any present intention on Sasuki's part to kick it up so quickly.

"Mmm~" Hinata moaned happily into the kiss. Her frame shuddered when the Uchiha's fingers were jammed so roughly and suddenly into her pussy, which was still a bit sore from hosting Naruto's cock that morning, but it was a shiver of ecstasy, and not pain or discomfort.

Her own fingers finally left Sasuki's breasts alone, though Sasuki herself still had one hand playing a little weakly with Hinata's nipples. But they danced their way down the Uchiha's torso, describing an intricate course of feather-light pinpricks across the sharingan-wielder's abdominal region, gradually descending, teasingly, torturously, to her fellow kunoichi's midnight-crowned blossom.

They broke off the kiss briefly to look one another in the eyes. Byakugan met sharingan in the heat of sensual passion. Ebony and crimson smiled lustfully, brightly, at ivory and indigo. The pale, fair faces of both "Visual Prowesses Princesses" (as they were known by some) were dusted with glowing pink and scarlet.

"You look gorgeous..." Hinata whispered adoringly, smiling as she cupped in one hand Sasuki's firmly toned buttocks, whilst inserting the middle finger of the other gently and carefully into the Uchiha's womanhood. She fingered Sasuki's pussy in the Hyuuga style, stimulating her genitals with small, gentle bursts of chakra.

"So do you," remarked Sasuki warmly, moaning and feeling herself rise up once more, so to speak. She sent a little more lightning-natured chakra into her fingertips, lightly zapping both Hinata's nipples and clitoris.

They came together once more.

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Sasuki.

"OHHHHH!" wailed Hinata also.

"I love you, Hinata...!" gasped Sasuki, redfaced and panting.

"I love you too, Sasuki-chan...!" replied Hinata, whimpering.

They kissed, a third time, hungry and passionate and loving and warm. Their tongues danced a lustful tango betwixt them, and their luscious bodies seemed to meld together as they tightly embraced. Breasts mashed and squashed delightfully between them, and their legs became as tangled as a bag of un-balled yarn

A truce, in mutual affection and desire, was finally, and truly, reached by the pair.

* * *

The Land of Wind was every bit as windy as one would expect from its name. While it was hardly all desert, contrary to what many less educated folk might assume, the terrain was still very "flat" in most places throughout the country. Save a few regions in the far east and south, bordering the Land of Fire and the sea, there was very little in the way of forests in _kaze no kuni_. Mostly it was scrub and brush, and a few lonely trees in the less arid territories.

Apart from the northern hills and southern cliffs, and a few meager forests to the far east, there were very few natural barriers against the wind, in this country. And much of the land had indeed suffered from several millennia of gradual desertification. Once, long before humans, great swathes of the country had been a part of the ocean floor. But natural climate change over time caused the seas to recede.

And the winds have long torn all but unopposed through the barren inner country, eroding everything into sand. The environment was hostile, among one of the least humanly habitable regions of the Elemental Continent. Only the most well-adapted flora and fauna could be found living in the inner wastes of the Wind Nation.

Sunagakure no Sato was easily the largest stationary human settlement within the all but uninhabitable Great Desert. And it was nearly in the very heart of that hellish region, surrounded on all sides by endless miles of sun baked, arid sands. While this left the village virtually bereft of more organic industries or resources, aside from a few rich veins of iron in the surrounding countryside, it also made it one of the most strategically secure of the five major villages, simply because no sane man would try to bring any kind of invasion force through the hellish desert. Any military force large enough to threaten one of THE hidden villages would also simply be impossible to get to Suna alive and sufficiently supplied.

Not to mention the difficulty of navigation. While the stars could be trusted by night, usually, to guide one true, there were next to no permanent landmarks in the Great Desert. Even people who had lived in the country for their entire lives could still easily get lost in the desert, and die of exposure, if they were careless.

It was an unforgiving country, and extremely difficult to traverse at the best of times. Very few people could expect to make that kind of trip easily.

But Mina Namikaze just so happened to be one of those people. She had hiraishin kunai buried in a line throughout the desert as a kind of space-time markers for her to navigate by. With the Flying Thunder God jutsu, and these kunai, she could make the journey to Suna very easily.

The only reason she hadn't just teleported straight to the village (which she could easily do) was to let the ''secret" desert patrols know that she was coming. It was a sort of minor courtesy on her part to the sovereignty of Suna to not just pop right in with hiraishin, but rather take the time to go through each of the many hidden "checkpoints" and let them follow her course through the desert. Which was largely why it had taken her this long to get there.

Also, because repeatedly using hiraishin with three other people tagging along could be taxing at the best of times.

Still, though, it was high noon, and they had finally reached the gates of Suna.

"Okay, girls," said the Yellow Flash kindly to Kagome, Asuka, and Gal. "We're here," she told them. "You can let go now."

The three younger kunoichi reluctantly removed their hands from Mina's ass, which was honestly feeling quite sore from all the pinching and fondling they'd been doing over the course of the trip. Plus, one of them had stolen or destroyed all of Mina's breast bindings in the middle of the night, and she had been forced to completely unzip the front of her flak jacket and switch to one of her low-cut off-duty jumpsuits, which meant a shitload of sand in the vast, all-but-sunburned valley of her cleavage.

"Hello, Lady Mina," said the modestly pretty gate guard, stepping forward. "You must be here to escort Lady Kazekage and her sisters on their diplomatic mission to the Leaf." The girl was blushing faintly as she spoke, and her eyes were trained fixedly on Mina's considerable assets.

Mina smiled a small, sort of warmly indulgent smile at the young guard. She was not surprised that the poor thing was so visibly fascinated by her cleavage. The Yellow Flash rarely went abroad without using breast bindings, if she could help it, so most people outside the Leaf tended to be genuinely surprised when they saw just what kind of cup size she was really rocking under her flak vest.

"I am," she said politely, giving a short bow out of courtesy.

The guard's eyes widened, and she immediately clapped a hand to her nose. With how low Mina's casual wear had to be cut to give her melons room to breathe, and the way the blonde ex-kage was bending over in a bow, the lass could probably see _everything_ from her vantage point. And, indeed, the intense erubescence of her cheeks, and the bit of blood that could be seen leaking out from between her fingers, seemed to strongly confirm this.

The other gate guard, visibly older than the first, shook her head and grabbed her partner's shoulder. The girl was frozen in place, it seemed.

"Bah, dang newbies," the obviously grizzled veteran muttered, shaking her head. "Flash 'em a bit of skin, and they freeze right up... wasn't like that in _my_ day..." she continued grumbling audibly under her breath while bodily dragging the younger kunoichi aside. "...we actually _knew_ how to handle ourselves... in my day, not a single person left the Academy a virgin..."

She shook her head, tutting to herself.

"Honestly, what _are_ they teaching you girls these days...?" she continued muttering. "Sure as hell ain't _combat skills_, if your fieldwork is anything to go by..."

The four Konoha kunoichi stood there outside the village gate as the guard disappeared from sight, muttering about how things were better in her days. If she was to believed, from what they could hear of the woman's mumblings, it used to be that Suna's streets were paved with gold, the aquifers produced the sweetest of sake, no woman had a bust size under an F-cup, and back pain was reserved strictly for the elderly.

It didn't exactly take a genius to figure that she was definitely looking at the past through some _damned_ thick rose-tinted lenses.

Asuka was the first to break the awkward silence, once they had been waiting there for a couple of minutes.

"Somehow, I get the feeling those guards aren't coming back any time soon," she said, with just the slightest hint of exasperation.

"Well, it's not like we're here uninvited," replied Kagome pragmatically. "We have official business with the Kazekage."

Gal frowned disapprovingly. "Why, Kagome! It almost sounds like you're suggesting we just _walk_ right into the village!"

The silver-haired cyclops shrugged. "Maybe I am," she drawled.

Mina frowned. "I don't know, Kagome... We're here under the Kazekage's good will, as part of a diplomatic mission. Now, of all times, we should _respect_ the official protocols."

Asuka shrugged. "Ehhh... I kinda like Kagome's idea. We'll just go straight to the Kazekage Tower and meet up with Lady Gaara. It _is_ official business, and it's not like the gate guard doesn't know we're here."

"Ah!" said Gal. "But as much as we may wish to hasten this joyous meeting of distant friends in the loveliness of youth, should we not also respect our host village and wait until we are officially given _permission_ to enter?"

"Really, Gal?" said Kagome. "I never thought you would be so _unhip_."

She visibly grimaced a little at saying this.

The buxom, spandex-clad martial artist, however, gasped.

"GASP!" she exclaimed. "How can you say that, my rival? Certainly, you may best me time and again in terms of hipness, but that does not make me UN-hip!"

Kagome cocked her single visible eyebrow at Gal. "Doesn't it, though?"

The bob-cut brunette spluttered, redfaced and clearly struggling with trying to reason this out. But before her head could explode (or she could challenge her "rival" to another pointless competition), the older gate guard reappeared, one of the Kazekage's attendants in tow.

"What?" she said. "Are you girls still here? Come on, what are you doing? Lady Gaara's been waiting for you."

Kagome satisfied herself with a single victorious eye-smile in Gal's direction. It was more encouragement than she usually gave her rival-slash-fuck buddy, but she was in a good mood today from getting so much quality ogling time from her mentor's exposed cleavage.

"AH!" Gal opined. "Bested again! But do not think this trend will continue, oh Eternal Rival! You are only one victory ahead of me. I will even the score next time!"

Kagome blinked, turning to look at Gal as they headed into the village. "Hm? Did you say something?"

Gal cursed. OR. Well, she kind of acted really dramatically stymied. Sort of.

"Curse you, Kagome!" she exclaimed. "Curse you and that infuriatingly sexy, hip attitude of yours!"

Inwardly, the infamous Copy Ninja smirked. _And tonight, **I'm** gonna be the one on top._

Mina simply sighed.

* * *

A/N: No follow up yet on that whole memory flash thing with Tenten, but I intend to explore that only gradually, in case anybody was expecting the illusion to immediately start collapsing. I haven't got it exactly _planned out_, but I have roughly determined a general rule of what characters might be getting some flashbacks... and the people it happens to is an important detail, because this isn't a matter of Infinite Tsukyomi's power waning, but rather the potency of certain _other_ factors **waxing**...

Also, the second half of this in entirely because I had been meaning to do something with Mina and her mission for a while, now. Also, as a breather chapter after the events of last chapter. Things might not break down right away, but who knows when or where more cracks will begin to appear in the facade...

(also i _really_ wanna get gaara and co to the village already)

**Updated: **12-12-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	18. Cosmic Whore, or?

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_lots of jumping around_)

* * *

The Fifth Kazekage, Gaara of the Desert, almost smiled, the tiniest bit, when she saw exactly who the Leaf had sent to act as her escort. Her eyes glanced up and down the figure of Naruto's honestly _gorgeous_ mother, Mina. It was very rare to see the Yellow Flash without her breast bindings, and Gaara couldn't help feeling the tiniest bit self-conscious at the sight of the woman's truly explosive tits.

...or her cleavage, at least. Mina wasn't going topless, or anything like that. She was just wearing that low-cut off-duty outfit that she almost never actually wore outside the house, according to Naruto.

But it was a LOT of cleavage, and the sight of it almost made Gaara feel a little sheepish about her true reason for this "diplomatic mission" to the Leaf.

_Almost._

She wasn't THAT easily dissuaded.

"I am honored that Konoha would send her most valued daughters to escort me and my sisters," said the Godaime Kazekage with a generous degree of obeisance.

"It was the least we could do," replied Mina warmly, smiling brightly at this girl whom she _knew_ from past experience to have a serious case of the hots for her son, even compared to most folks. "The people of Suna are our valued friends and allies."

Gaara nodded, her usually stoic expression softening a little around the edges. "As the people of Konoha are ours," she replied, not just diplomatically but _sincerely_.

Temari and Kanakuro stood flanking their sister on either side, dressed in their usual service attire. Temari in her little black dress with the short skirt and low neckline, and Kanakuro in her black, skintight, Kabuki stagehand-style garb. They looked, however, to have spent a conspicuous length of time beautifying themselves, and if Asuka didn't know better she'd _swear_ that the girls (their sister, too) had gone out of their way to seriously emphasize their far-from-meager bust-sizes.

But she didn't see why they would _need_ to.

"Well, we greatly value our relationship with the village of Suna," said Mina suggestively, smiling at Gaara knowingly. "It is always important to ensure _strong lines of communication_ between the leadership of the Sand and the Leaf."

Gaara's eyes twinkled, and she replied with a husky, "Whether it is with the current Hokage, the past Hokage, or the Hokage-to-be, I do not intend to let_anything_ divide or _separate_ us."

Kagome's eyes glittered gleefully at the heavy sexual tension. She could practically_taste_ the lust in the air.

Mina smiled. "Well, if you are ready to depart, we can have you back in our village faster than you can say '_Hot_.'"

"Yes, your _hiraishin no jutsu_, correct?" said Gaara.

Mina nodded. "Exactly."

The redhead smiled, turquoise eyes twinkling. "Every one of us will need to be in direct physical contact with you, for it to work. Correct?"

Mina giggled, the sound distinctly sensual. "_Exactly_."

"Then what are we waiting for?" said the Fifth Kazekage, her smile downright vulpine by this point. She proceeded to shamelessly and enthusiastically grab a generous handful of Mina's bountiful breasts. Her sisters followed suit, and the Leaf ninja promptly started effectively gang-groping the former Hokage's ass.

Biting back a moan, her cheeks bright red and her loins heating up from this considerable stimulation, Mina focused her chakra.

All seven of them promptly vanished into thin air.

* * *

Kumiko was en route to the Uzumaki household when she felt it.

Nine vulpine tails stood up on end. Striking crimson eyes went wide. She grit her teeth, hissing as a chill ran up her spine. Kumiko shuddered, feeling _wrong_.

Like a pulse of sound traveling through the air, the kyuubi's yin half was struck by a wall of emotion. A lesser empath would have staggered and fallen to their knees at this sudden onslaught, this blast of concentrated psychic confusion.

A thousand fractured, fragmented images flashed through her mind in under a second. She tried to grab onto them, to mentally _hold_ those images in place and analyze them, figure out _what the_ _hell_ _this was_, but they slipped away like grains of sand through her fingers.

Now, as suddenly as it hit her, it was gone. Now there was nothing left of it, whatever it _was_. Nothing but a slight headache.

And after a few more seconds, even that soon passed away into nothing.

Kumiko shook her head, belatedly regaining her composure. She looked around somewhat confusedly.

A few passers-by on the street shot her confused or concerned looks, but most folk were familiar with Kumiko and her... _peculiarities_. They didn't really pay it much mind, probably just chalking down whatever had just happened to as "Some kind of bijuu thing."

Kumiko frowned a little, her eyes turning towards Ichiraku's, from whence she could feel the blended chakra of Naruto and her other half radiating.

"What are you doing over there...?" she wondered to herself. Then she shook her head.

She had the strangest sense of familiarity... not quite deja vu, but rather something like... nostalgia? ...No, that wasn't quite right either.

She could feel something. She HAD felt something. It was faint, and dispersed, but it was something that felt incredibly, loathsomely familiar to her.

She didn't like it.

* * *

Beneath a scarlet moon, an eldritch consciousness began to stir. It was something ancient and incomprehensible, a brooding, primal intellect the thoughts of which were utterly alien to mortal man.

Roots bored deep into the foundations of the earth. Continents cracked as they spread, mountains cast down in the earth's cataclysmic upheavals. A great, incomparable weight was bearing down on the land, crushing it and compacting. Reaching higher than the tallest peak, grasping lower than the deepest crevasse.

A flower bloomed beneath the moon, beneath _Tsukuyomi_. From its center glared a dismal radiance. Earth stared into heaven. Moon and flower danced beyond the horizon.

And a great tree stood tall, greater and older than any other. Reborn after countless ages, it united _Yin_ and _Yang_, heaven and earth, death and life, dark and light. The living earth was its throne, and the heavenly firmament its crown. The stars in the sky were as dew upon the leaves of its branches.

Shinju, it was called. _God-tree_, most literally. And the World Tree also, _Yggdrasil_, and the Tree of the Forbidden Fruit, _Cheit Eitz HaDa'at_.

Its bark was as thick as a fortress's walls, its trunk as wide as a mountain was tall. At its peak were branches, spread far, a canopy through which no light could pass. Darkness was its shadow, light upon its brow. At its foot rested countless ashen _Níðhöggr_, coiled about its base, entrapping all of mankind.

Every human alive was drawn into the tree. They were consumed by it, becoming a part of it. The chakra stolen from its fruit by Kaguya Ootsutsuki, used against it by Hagoromo her son, was returned once more unto it. A grim harvest, it was, drawing all of human life into its bark.

Humanity which in the past had worshiped the Tree, then stolen from it, then carved it up piecemeal and sealed it away, was now become part of it. Its chakra it reaped from them, taking back what it was owed.

The beasts of the earth congregated about the Tree. The birds of the air flocked around its boughs. Life-giver, life-taker, the Ultimate Catalyst, was returned at long last to its rightful domain. The Tree cared not for these creatures, one way or another. It gave them shelter and life by merely existing, but they were beneath its care, so small and fleeting.

The Tree shuddered, suddenly. Chakra twisted in its core, and the earth was rent into pieces beneath it. Beasts cried out in mindless terror and fled from the Tree.

A mortal will strove unconsciously against the Shinju. Dispassionate was the Tree, ancient beyond reckoning, grand beyond description. Its mind was to this mortal as all the oceans of the world were to a single, solitary teardrop. It was impartial and immovable. Emotion would not sway it. Right and wrong were human concepts beneath it.

It cared only for concrete reality, if it could be truly said to "care" about anything. The processes of its thought were subtle and intricate, running as deep as the earth's core, and as high as the furthest star. It was closer to a God than to any manner of earthly life.

Yet, there was one being which held primacy above. One entity with a will great enough to have bested and subdued it. And the Shinu's inscrutable thought turned inward towards that being, that creature which had mastered and dominated it.

All chakra flowed through the body of Naruto Uzumaki, whose mortal body was enthroned in its center, between heaven and earth. He was become the heart of the Shinju, the will of the Juubi. The minds of all humanity were bent upon his thought and desires. Even many who had died lived again, souls pulled through sheer force of will from the Pure World beyond and given new bodies, cocooned at his feet.

The Shinju, seeing that all here was as it should be, pressed down upon this errant thought, quashing and subduing it.

The upheaval ceased.

Silence reigned.

The least finger of Naruto's right hand stirred the slightest bit, before going still once more.

Three of the bodies at his feet changed.

* * *

Kumiko reached Naruto's house at last, after no further incident. The strange flash of... _something_... had troubled her briefly, at first, but by now it had all but passed completely from her mind.

She had more pressing matters to consider.

"Hello," she called out, lightly knocking a single delicate, pale fist against the door. "Is anybody there?"

The door opened almost instantly. A lovely, dark-haired woman stood just past the threshold, dressed in extremely skimpy maid clothes and bowing low, exposing a goodly amount of soft, creamy cleavage.

"Welcome home, Naru-sam... ah?"

Two purple-grey eyes, within which were visible several concentric circles, widened in surprise as the woman looked up to see somebody she had clearly not been expecting. She frowned softly, this woman, appearing faintly perplexed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Have we met? You seem familiar..."

Kumiko frowned slightly as well. She had gotten the very same impression, for a second. When she first laid her eyes on this woman, she had felt inexplicably like she _knew_ her, and far too well for her taste.

Yet this was surely the first time they had ever met. Certainly, at least, she did not _recall_ ever seeing this person before.

She shook her head, deciding that it was probably just deja vu.

"No, we have not," Kumiko told the woman. "But I am here on your master's behalf. He asked me to come here and inspect your memories."

The woman's eyes widened. "Oh! So you know Naru-sama?!" she chirped excitedly, hopping up and down in delight. Her breasts bounced rather gratuitously with the movement of her body, and Kumiko could not help but smirk a little and subtly ogle them.

"I do indeed," the kyuubi said, licking her lips. "I know him _very_ well. But who, may I ask, am I speaking with?"

"Ah?" said the woman. "I'm Mari."

Then she bowed once more, and Kumiko could see a fair bit of aereola peeking up at her from down the maid's glorified bra.

"Mari Uchi, at your service~!" she singsonged cheerfully, smiling up at Kumiko, who was quite buxom herself, though MUCH more conservatively dressed.

Kumiko smiled pervertedly. "May I come in?" she asked.

"Yes, of course!" said Mari, snapping back up out of her bow. "Right this way, I'll take you to my sister. Then you can give us that check up!" She winked playfully, before turning and practically skipping down the entry hallway, flashing her big, delicious ass at Kumiko every time she landed.

Leering, intrigued and aroused, the Nine-tails followed after this maid.

"Those are some interesting maids Naruto-kun has found for himself..." she purred, drinking in and memorizing the sight of Mari's toned yet generous ass. "I never thought there'd be somebody who could actually fit into Mina-chan's maid cosplay, but I'll be damned if that woman doesn't wear it perfectly."

Mari led Kumiko to the living room, gesturing to the couch.

"Sit down, you must be tired," she said. "I'll go and fetch my sister." She bowed one more time, nipples poking visibly through her scanty french maid top, before spinning around and walking off. She was not skipping anymore, but she made up for that by sensually swaying her hips, proudly flaunting what she had to work with.

Kumiko's eyes followed Mari delightedly, her lips curved into a sultry smile.

"What a delightful maid," she remarked to herself. "So shamelessly sexual, and also perfectly cheerful and upbeat. Naruto-kun must have won the lottery with her."

She laughed haughtily at her own little joke.

As if there was ever a time when that boy _didn't _win the lottery.

* * *

It wasn't very long at all before Mari returned, her sister in tow. Obi was noticeably less buxom than her sister, though still far from scrawny, and Kumiko looked, interested, into the girl's mismatched eyes.

"Hello," she said, standing up. "I assume your sister told you why I'm here?"

Obi smiled at Kumiko, bowing politely. "She did indeed, Kyuubi-dono," she said, obeisant.

The Yin half of the Nine-tails giggled.

"Oh, there is no need to be so impersonal, darling," she said. "Call me Kumiko. Almost everyone does."

"Kumiko...?" said Mari, her expression strange. "Hm. What a..." She trailed off for a second, before her expression brightened, and she chirped, "...lovely name!"

Obi nodded agreeably, clapping her hands together. "A lovely name for a lovely woman~" she cooed flatteringly.

"Ahh." Kumiko blushed, smiling slyly. Her eyes twinkled. "You are very cute yourself," she purred, "but let us save the foreplay for _after_ the check up, hmm?" She winked at Obi, causing her and her sister to titter girlishly.

After a moment, they calmed down, and Mari said more seriously, "So... do you really think you'll be able to help us with our memories?"

"Who knows?" said Kumiko, shrugging dismissively. "I can't say for sure until I've had a look inside your head." She held up her hands, slender and feminine. They were glowing a dull red. "You ready?"

"A... as I'll ever be," said Mari a little weakly, faltering for a moment. She sat down on the couch, letting herself go more or less completely still as Kumiko brought her hands up to rest on either side of her head.

She could feel a tingling inside her temples as the fox spirit's cool fingers traced slow, steady circles over her skin. It was a queer sensation, not quite unpleasant, but just very out of the norm.

Mari couldn't help shivering a little as Kumiko dived in.

* * *

It was dark. Completely dark. Everything was pitch black. There was no sound, no smell, no discernible temperature.

Kumiko looked around, perplexed.

"How odd," she said in a considerable understatement. "I can't see anything."

The inside of Mari's mind was completely void. There was nothing. No memory.

"She really did lose it," Kumiko mused, drifting through the seeming abyss that was Mari's mind. Other parts of the girl's mind were untouched, the language centers, the muscular intuition, basic ideas and reasoning, mathematics and chakra theory and other such things. Those were all there.

But there was no memory. Nothing of who _Mari_ was, nothing of her past, or her origins.

Kumiko peered through the endless darkness. She saw a small glimmer of light. And the instant she saw that light, it came immediately to her, or rather she came to it.

There was no such thing as "distance" inside the mind. It was all abstract, occupying no physical space. The instant you thought of something, you would be brought there. As long as you had the slightest idea what you were looking for, you could find it.

So long as there wasn't a mental block. But those were rare, and Kumiko had never encountered one so strong or impermeable that she could not slip her way through.

Here, though, there was nothing. At least, there was no memory.

No memory aside from what Kumiko now held in her hands.

It was small, like a drop of liquid silver between her palms. Just a tiny fleck of memories, amounting to no more than everything Obi had experienced since waking up this morning. Not even anything remote, from the woman's distant past.

Kumiko was stymied.

"It looks like she really has forgotten everything..." she said to herself. "No sign of any memories from before this morning. This is very unusual... but I think..."

* * *

Sighing, Kumiko removed her hands from Mari's head.

"This is outside my ability," she said. "I couldn't find any signs of past memories in there. It's like your past was wiped completely from your memory." She shook her head. "Obi is almost certainly the same way, I'll bet."

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Mari asked her.

"Not without some seed or remnant of your past memories," was the bijuu's answer. "As you are, there's nothing I can do for you, or your sister."

"That's it, then?" said Obi. "What a relief!"

"Yes," agreed Mari. "Now we can be Naru-sama's maids _forever~_"

Kumiko frowned slightly at this. She had a vague sense of suspicion about... _something_... but she couldn't begin to fathom what it might be. It was, of course, a little strange that she hadn't been able to find any trace of the girl's past memories, but what was there to suspect about that?

Nothing, of course. Not unless they were actively suppressing their own memories.

But that would just be ridiculous, wouldn't it?

* * *

A/N: This chapter is way less smutty, and a lot more something else. The whole Shinju sequence took an inordinately long time to work out, but I think it came out appropriately ominous and otherworldly. Because, as the Ten-tails has been revealed, it's been made pretty obvious that it is not, as an entity _evil_, per se.

It isn't wicked or malicious, or even possessed of any kind of motive that can be understood by humans. It's a pure force of nature. It isn't evil, but rather simply, in the nature of its existence, utterly inimical to human life as it exists in the _Naruto_ manga.

Which is why I don't give it an actual voice. It thinks, but not in any way that would make sense to a human reader. It is very blue and orange morality, if it even possesses a concept of "good" and "evil" at all.

Also, HOLY FUCK almost 200k hits. This is officially, far and away, the single most popular thing that I have ever written, _period_.

**Updated: **12-14-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	19. Futari wa

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_getting back to smuttiness a little bit_)

* * *

Kumiko shook her head, clearing of suspicion. Surely she was just being paranoid. For what reason would these two POSSIBLY want to suppress their _own_ memories? Even if just to hide them from her.

But either way there was no evidence of this, and she could conceive of no motive. By all accounts, Kumiko was just letting her skeptical nature get the better of her common sense. There was no reason to believe that there was anything more to this than what met the eye.

Besides, if these two had had any untoward motives, either Naruto or herself would have sensed them by now. But all Kumiko could sense coming off of these two was absolute devotion, and a desire to do absolutely anything for the one they served. As far as she could perceive, all they wanted was to make Naruto feel good.

And she could understand a motivation like that.

The Yin half of the Nine-tails flicked her eyes up and down the curvy, scrumptious bodies of Obi and Mari. She could appreciate _very well_ what these two were doing. And she could also appreciate their fine, round asses and good, bouncy tits.

Both of the girls were, as has been mentioned before, effectively all but naked. Basically, their clothing amounted to nothing than lacy, frilly, black and white bras and micro-miniskirts. It was maid-themed, but probably the only maids in the world actually dressing so scandalously were these two ladies right before her.

And Kumiko liked it. Between the two sisters, Mari was easily the more buxom. She was as well endowed as Tsunade, Mina-chan, or Miraiya-dono. Her skin was smooth and pale, and although she looked soft on the surface, Kumiko could see an underlying hardness. Even without those rinnegan eyes, it was blatantly obvious that Mari must have been a kunoichi before losing her memory. And from the amount of raw, unadulterated chakra Kumiko could feel bubbling up in the woman's gut, she had obviously been _incredibly_ powerful.

Actually, Kumiko wondered if _someone _wouldn't eventually recognize the woman, and her sister, at some point down the line. There was no way that kunoichi as powerful as this could just drop off the face of the earth without raising some serious eyebrows. Mari, by herself, felt like she was on the level of a kage, easily. Not just her chakra, or the powerful underlying musculature in her limbs, but even what Kumiko had seen inside her mind said as much.

Mari might have lost her memories of the past, but she still appeared to possess all of her _muscle _memory. Which was actually a bit of a misnomer, since the muscles didn't actually have anything to do with it. But Kumiko had seen enough of that to know that, most assuredly, Mari would have been an absolute _demon_ on the battlefield. The reflexes alone were easily on a level with what Kumiko could recall of the First Hokage, and that was enough to make even _her_ grateful that this woman was not an enemy.

And, from what Kumiko could tell of Mari's little sister, she fancied that Obi had probably been pretty damned skilled herself. While not appearing to be possessed of nearly as much physical power as her older sister, there was something indescribably _potent_ in this one's chakra that Kumiko couldn't help comparing to Naruto's, or her own. It was just a trace, and something about it was hollow, yet what _was_ there would probably be sufficient to level the playing field between Obi and Mari, if they ever got into a fight.

Aside from that, Kumiko could as sense a high concentration of cells seemingly identical to the First Hokage's in Obi's body. She could feel some in Mari's body, too, of course, but Obi had to be almost fully HALF Senju, with how much of that old stud Hashirama's tissue Kumiko could detect in the woman's body.

In particular, it seemed like the scarred half of Obi was the half where the concentration of H-type cells was the highest. Probably somebody had tried to reconstruct the girl's body after some kind of nasty accident. But whoever had done it hadn't done a particularly GOOD job. While Naruto obviously didn't mind the scars, and could probably see the "beauty within," as he liked to put it, Kumiko could only think of what a _shame_ it was for the beauty of young woman to be so badly marred.

Human kunoichi might see such scars as something like a badge of honor, and a charm point in their own way, Kumiko, with her immortal, regenerating body, could only see it as an unfortunate flaw. Naruto would probably lecture her for being "shallow," but the way she saw it these scars showed only how fleeting and vulnerable the human body was.

And that wasn't something Kumiko cared to think about.

Still, though, apart from that, the sisters were certainly _damned_ attractive.

Finally concluding her lengthy, silent appraisal, Kumiko looked the two sisters straight in the eyes, mirth flashing in her crimson pools. She licked her lips, running a soft, pink tongue over white, pointed canine teeth as she smiled.

She looked distinctly predatory with that expression. Even without the nine, large, fluffy fox-tails coiling and swaying lazily behind her back, it would have been easy to tell what she really was just from the look on her face. It was keen and sultry and blatantly carnivorous.

"Ohohoho~" she laughed haughtily at the way Obi and Mari shivered under the intensity of her gaze. "Yes, I think you two will serve Naruto-kun _quite_ well❤" she purred.

The two blushed at this.

"Thank you, Kumiko-dono!" said Obi brightly. "That means so much, coming from you."

"Yes," said Mari, nodding and licking her lips. "Naruto-sama took us in when we had nowhere else to go... and, now, we will _gladly_ repay him with our bodies~!"

"I'm certain you will," remarked Kumiko. "But still, I think the two of you might benefit from some... _practice_..." There was mischief in her eyes when she said this.

Obi blushed, looking up and down the Nine-tails's human form. She was dressed conservatively, and with the utmost class, in only the finest silk and jewels. Her figure was voluptuous and perfectly proportioned, perhaps not as endowed as someone like Mari, but still unmistakably buxom, and her clothing did everything right as far as accentuating her natural beauty, and enticing the eyes of the beholder to envision what must lie beneath.

Kumiko smiled, seeing the way Obi looked at her. Casually, she began to shed her clothes. "This should be most edifying for you girls, and enjoyable for myself..." she said. A moment later, she added in a faintly thoughtful tone, "...and those scars of yours should be easy to heal. One round should be plenty."

Obi eyed Kumiko gratefully, blushing deeply. She looked a little unsure as to what the bijuu meant by _"one round,"_ but the thought of having her scars healed appeared to delight her. No doubt she was terribly self-conscious about them.

Smiling, Kumiko let her robes fall to her feet. Obi and Mari promptly gawked, quite openly, at the sizable, throbbing erection that appeared between the vixen's legs. It looked to be a perfect replica of Naruto's cock, right down to the tiniest details. There had been no sign of it beneath the kimono, so most likely it was created by some manner of arcane injutsu.

Seeing how the pair gawked at the cock sticking up from between her legs, the Yin-half of the kyuubi no youko simply smiled enigmatically.

"Every bijuu has its own unique powers," she said huskily, "related to the nature of its chakra, and the form of its body... I myself, as a demon fox, am gifted with the ability to...say, _blur_... the line between genders."

With that said, she took a step forward. Their eyes gleaming, Obi and Mari quickly and enthusiastically got to work.

* * *

Meanwhile, Naruto was in the process of walking home, deep in thought. He had just dropped a thoroughly pleasured Tenten off at her house after the end of their date, and now he was returning back to the place he shared with his parents.

He took the scenic route.

He needed time to think about what had happened.

Those... _flashes_... he had gotten from Tenten, back at Ichiraku's, were bothering him. It was strange. Just the content of those images had been enough to give him pause, and even as faint as they now were, he still felt something weird when he thought about them.

It wasn't easy to describe. It was sort of like a weird heaviness in the pit of his stomach, except there was also component of floatiness higher up, and a tingling in his spine. He couldn't pin it down to any one sensation, but whenever Naruto tried to think about the flashes of memory he had gotten from his date, he started to feel uneasy.

It was walking on a tightrope and thinking that if you looked down, the rope would snap. He couldn't explain it, but just the thought of the THOUGHT of those visions made him feel anxious and borderline nauseous. Somebody who had a better way with words might describe the sensation as a sort of vertigo, but Naruto did not. All he knew was that those memories weren't right.

Or, at least, what he could remember of them.

It was weird. Just having seen the memories briefly through that empathic link had made them _his_, in a way. Tenten had completely forgotten them almost as quickly as they had come, and Naruto was retaining the images only superficially better. Already most of the individual details were lost in a blur of thoughts, and the harder Naruto tried to remember those details, the more he contaminated the memories.

That is to say, in trying to recall the visions, his brain was automatically, subconsciously filling in the blanks where he had forgotten stuff, but the things it was filling the memories in with were all in the context of the world he knew. His own experience was tainting the visions of this world so like, yet also unlike, his own, and Naruto KNEW that this was happening.

Somewhat, at any rate. He could perceive, at the very least, a sort of odd awareness of _that isn't right_ whenever he tried to concentrate on the memories, or pull some detail up. It wasn't an entirely conscious perception, but he knew on some level that what he now remembered of those flashes was not, quite, what he had originally seen. And this sense of inaccuracy compelled Naruto to try harder to pull up details from the visions, which caused his brain to write in more of its own incorrect deductions, causing Naruto to feel that the memories were getting even less accurate.

It was a vicious cycle, and it made his head ache something _fierce_.

"Ugh..." Naruto muttered. "How can Shikamari and Sakura-chan think so much all the time? Owwww... My brain is killing me." He shook his head. "I gotta stop thinking about this..." he said quietly to himself, turning down the street his house was on. "My brain's gonna explode at this rate. Or else I'll drive myself crazy."

Naruto sighed.

"Maybe I'll be able unwind at home..." he said to himself. "I've got that thing with Kumiko and the maids, and ma'll probably be there too, with the slaves... Oh, and Shiho, too! I almost forgot that I invited her over for some fun tonight..." He chuckled to himself. "That's nearly a full house of fine ladies for me to entertain..." he mused wryly. "Hah! I'll be busy all night."

The blond was grinning wolfishly, now, those strange memories all but forgotten when faced with the prospect of so much pussy to please. He was perhaps getting a little hard as he walked up to the door, and he was only jarred out of his planning for that night when he bumped clumsily into a soft, female body.

Looking up, Naruto saw a flash of cherry pink and platinum blonde. He had walked straight into Sakura and Ino, and if he had consciously done this as a ploy to cop some nice feels of the pair, well he couldn't have done it any better. One of his hands had plunged itself straight into the cleavage exposed by the Yamanaka's skimpy, purple tube top, and his other hand had managed to land itself squarely on Sakura's nice, soft buttocks.

Cheerfully, he gave the pair a squeeze. Sakura squealed, blushing furiously, and Ino purred most lasciviously, giving the demon-vessel some damned enticing bedroom eyes.

"Hey, Ino, Sakura-chan," he greeted cheerfully, as though he WASN'T currently groping the two like there was no tomorrow. The collision might have been an honest accident, but the blond was perfectly willing to milk his current position for everything it was worth.

"_Hey_, Naruto," said Ino huskily, leaning forward a little to give Naruto better access down her blouse. She moaned lewdly, theatrically. "Mmm, this is the _best_ greeting I've gotten all day. I should go out on A-ranks more often, if this is what they get me."

She winked suggestively, and Naruto grinned foxily right back at her.

Sakura, in contrast with Ino, quickly slapped Naruto's hand away from her butt. "Pe-pervert!" she sniped, her cheeks radiating hot pink. The word lacked heat, though, and Naruto waggled his eyebrows at her.

"_Feisty_," he remarked playfully, causing his tsundere teammate to blush even brighter. Chuckling good-naturedly, the blond put the now free hand to work on Ino's behind, squeezing the generous amount of buttock that his fellow-blonde's scandalously short, and _tight_, daisy dukes shamelessly put on display.

Pulling the Yamanaka casually closer as he explored the depths of her modest cleavage, Naruto gave Ino a playful peck on the cheek.

"So what are you two doing here?" he asked her huskily. "Sakura finally decide to take me up on that standing offer of mine?"

Ino giggled lustily. "Oh, I _wish_," she purred. "But, no, we're actually here for Sasuki-chan. Sakura's been getting anxious for some one on one with her..."

Naruto laughed. "She _still_ hasn't done you yet, Sakura-chan? Damn, she must be _blind_." He winked roguishly. "If I were in her place, I would be doing you six ways to Sunday every chance I got."

Sakura winced. "You know how she is, Naruto..." she murmured weakly. "Maybe if Sasuki-chan wasn't so obsessed with you, she'd be more open to my offers..."

Ino shook her head, taking a brief break from nibbling on Naruto's neck to speak up. "Oh, Sakura, you _know_ how to make Sasuki accept."

The pinkette scowled. "That's cheating," she muttered irritably. "I love Sasuki-chan, but she would probably _jump of a bridge_ if you told her Naruto was waiting for her off the edge. Asking her to join you in a threesome with Naruto is cheap, and dishonest." She crossed her arms, sniffing imperiously.

Ino quirked a single, slim eyebrow at this. "What's dishonest about it?" she asked rhetorically. "She's hot, and Naruto's hot. Who _wouldn't_ want to be in a sandwich between those two?"

Naruto grinned at this, and he cheerfully popped one of Ino's breasts out of her shirt. Not that this required much finagling. That tube top was so tight and low-cut that it was nothing short of a miracle those puppies hadn't _already_ popped out. Really, all he had to do was gently push up on the boob. Physics took care of the rest.

"See?" said Ino cheerfully, wiggling her behind suggestively against Naruto's skillfully groping hand as her fellow blond proceeded to bend his head down and take the nipple of the now-exposed teat into his mouth. She moaned shamelessly, squirming lewdly against Naruto as he sucked on the free breast. "He's so _good_❤ Why _wouldn't_ you want this cutie's body pressing you into Sasuki-chan's arms?"

Sakura blushed beetroot red. She was trying very hard to avert her gaze from the pair, but she wasn't having much luck with that.

Naruto and Ino put on one _hell_ of a show.

* * *

A/N: Hits at the time I started writing this: 205,770. It is also hosted in nine different communities, so far. Additionally, a few days ago I calculated that this fic was the 325th most followed M-rated, English Naruto fanfic to be updated within the last year. This ranking may or may not have risen or fallen a couple of places since then.

Self-genderbending is TOTALLY a power of the Nine-tails. It would make a certain thematic sense, at least, given some of the mythology surrounding foxes in Japan.

And with that said, it looks like there will be a LOT of ladies converging on Naruto's place, come nighttime. ;)

**Updated: **12-16-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	20. I, Nari

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_lotta futa this chap_)

* * *

Sakura whimpered a little, feeling uncomfortably aroused at the spectacle that her friend and her teammate were making of themselves. Her cheeks felt very warm, and her stomach was all but doing gymnastic flips throughout her thoracic cavity. Her panties were undeniably wet, too.

"Mmmm, yesssss! Oh, _Naruto!_" Ino moaned so shamelessly as the blond bit down on her sensitive, erect nipple and pinched her firmly toned buttocks. "Oh! _Yes!_"

Sakura blushed a little hotter at the way her friend was talking. Unbidden, one of her hands went to the crotch of her dress. Underneath her beige belt/skirt, the medic could feel her tight, black spats getting soaked clean through the front.

Her breath hitched. Sakura could feel her fingers beginning to rub, almost of their own volition, against her aching, sensitive privates, desperately stimulating them through the fabric of her clothes.

She heard Naruto grunting as he basically dry-humped Ino while suckling on her one exposed teat and kneading her nice, athletic buttocks. And she heard Ino gasping and squealing in delight, in ecstasy, as Naruto Uzumaki pleasured her so shamelessly, so casually and teasingly, right there on the front step of his house. They were doing this thing in plain view of the entire street, and Sakura couldn't help but become aroused from watching.

She did not dislike Naruto. She did not find him unattractive, or particularly unpleasant.

He was a good friend, in his own right. Even for how utterly, gratuitously perverted he could so often act, Sakura knew that the blond was a reliable as anyone. He was the kind of person to stand by his promises through hell or high water.

She really did like him. She really was attracted to him, in her own way.

She just... didn't really know how to express those feelings. She was so used to dealing brusquely with Naruto, from when they were children, that a small part of her was simply incapable of treating the blond the way she very much _wanted_ to.

Part of it was jealousy, she supposed. Even aside from how obnoxious he'd been as a kid, Sakura had been truly aghast and dismayed the day she discovered that _he_ was the one who held Sasuki's heart. Because Sakura had always really liked Sasuki, even moreso than most of the rest of the Uchiha's fan club. A big part of her was still a little bitter that _Naruto_ was the one Sasuki loved, and not _her_.

But this didn't erase the fact that Sakura truly DID think Naruto could be funny, and charming and just _so fucking hot_ in his own right. And, watching him engaging so skillfully and enthusiastically in such friendly foreplay with Ino, the pinkette couldn't help but wonder if keeping that grudge was really worth missing out on _all_ _that_.

Smiling shyly, Sakura took a step towards the pair.

"Is..." she said softly. "Is there room for me...?"

Naruto looking up from ravenously suckling on Ino's exposed boob to eye-smile at his long-time crush and teammate.

"Of course there is," he said. "I'll _always_ have room for YOU, Sakura-chan." He smiled warmly, pulling back from Ino a little to give Sakura some room to join in on the sensual embrace.

She came forward, slowly and a little hesitantly, but she was smiling as she did so.

"Do you wanna take this inside, then?" Naruto asked her a moment later, as a blushing Sakura got in between him and Ino.

Sakura shook her head. "No," she said. "Out here is just perfect."

"Kinky," said Naruto cheerfully. "I didn't know you were that kind of girl, Sakura-chan~"

The girl smiled slyly, pressing an index finger lightly against a spot somewhere below Naruto's collar bone.

"There's a _lot_ you don't know about me, Naruto-kun," she purred, before bringing her hands together in a ram seal.

Smoke erupted all around them, a billowing cloud. It was dense and opaque, but it faded quickly.

Naruto, Ino, and Sakura were now buck naked. The Yamanaka heiress purred huskily at this, and she nibbled lightly on Sakura's ear.

"Nice, Sakura... _Very_ nice," she said appreciatively, reaching hands up to cup and squeeze her best friend's small breasts. Then she began to lustfully dry hump the medic's perfect, round posterior.

"I had a feeling you'd like it," the pinkette purred, using her own hands to aggressively Naruto's hard, muscular ass.

Naruto simply smirked, his own hands on Ino's butt. Cheerfully, he led them to a nearby bench on the porch, where they could do their business in relative repose.

"Hehe," chuckled Naruto, eyes gleaming as he watched Ino and Sakura. "You two are so hot together."

"Mmm, then why don't you join in _properly_, Naruto?" said Ino suggestively.

Naruto smirked.

"You wanna do it like that, then?" he said.

Ino nodded, and Sakura, catching on quickly, mirrored her friend's gesture.

With a laugh, Naruto removed his hand's from Ino's fine ass just long enough to weave them into a seal.

"_Oiroke no jutsu_," he said, focusing his chakra.

He was enveloped by a puff of white smoke.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the Uzumaki household, Kumiko was having her own fun with Naruto's maids.

"Kumiko-sama! Kumiko-sama!" wailed Mari helplessly as the bijuu in human form powerfully thrust her hips in and out of her womanhood. "Ahhh! Ahhhh!" she screamed, her goodly tits bouncing furiously.

"Good girl," said Kumiko. One of her tails came around to gently, teasingly stroke the woman's cheek. Her own very generous bosom was being worshipfully kissed and suckled by Obi, as she fucked the maid's older sister, and her perfectly flawless ass bounced and jiggled with the fervent motions of her hips.

Despite how passionately the Nine-tails was fucking Mari, the expression on her face was almost perfectly inscrutable and serene. Only the faintest of blushes colored those pale cheeks, and her scarlet eyes gleamed lustily down at the two lewd sisters.

"Kumiko-sama! Fuck! Oh, _Sage!_ Kumiko-sama!" Mari gasped and wailed nigh incoherently.

"Mmm..." Obi moaned, with a generous mouthful of the bijuu's most bountiful breasts. "Kumiko-sama..." she purred around the redhead's nipples.

"Ahhh," sighed she, smiling ever so slightly. Her cheeks were darkening the tiniest bit more at the feeling of the girl's tongue curling skillfully around the nipple in her mouth, and the sensation of her teeth lightly, teasingly scraping the surface of Kumiko's sensitive, ovoid aereola. "Very good... Mmm..."

She moaned, feeling the semen building up in her cock. The member was fashioned quite intentionally after Naruto's, and it was every bit as real as the boy's manhood.

Except, of course, that Kumiko was shooting blanks, so to speak.

The bijuu did not have DNA, as _such_, being ultimately just sentient, self-perpetuating constructs of chakra. They could take human form, if the fancy took them, or else circumstances forced them, but these bodies were, on a sub-cellular level, at least, only mere _imitations_ of humans. They could, in these forms, perform or at least mimic almost all the physical and metabolic processes that actual humans did.

But they weren't human. These bodies had no DNA – they were shaped and formed solely by the will of the bijuu. As such, they did not have any concrete, inheritable traits to pass on to a next generation.

The Tailed-Beasts were not truly organic, biological existences. They could not reproduce. Even if they took the form of humans, they could not conceive more things like themselves.

The bijuu were not fruitful. They could not multiply. They could not reproduce. They could not become mothers, or fathers.

...Not that they let this really bother them, of course. Kumiko, at least, couldn't care less about that.

Not when there were lovely lasses like this lying around and just _begging_ to be played with.

"I'm coming..." purred Kumiko, feeling herself twitch and clench.

"Oh, _yes!_" squealed Mari. "Come inside me, Kumiko-sama...! Fill me up with your beautiful seed!"

Obi nibbled lewdly on Kumiko's teat, humming suggestively and wiggling her all but naked hips.

"Take it!" Kumiko groaned. "Take it like a good little harlot. Accept my cock like I am Naruto-dono!"

Mari's eyes widened, and she let out a euphoric wail. "AHHHH! I'm _coming...!_"

Kumiko, with a shuddering moan, shot a goodly wad into Mari's womb. And Mari herself came like a waterfall, her ejaculate gushing out generously upon her and Kumiko's thighs. The smell of their mingled sex was strong, almost pungent.

The three of them loved it.

Obi purred, pulling back from Kumiko's breast. There was a bit of milk leaking from the nipple.

"You're lactating," she observed curiously, visibly intrigued.

Kumiko smiled lustily.

"Drink," she said loftily. "Its healing properties are considerable. Nurse at my teat, and you will be healed of all your physical ailments."

Obi was silent for a moment.

"_All_ of them?" she asked softly, tracing a hand across the extensive scarring which covered the right side of her body.

"_All of them,_" Kumiko answered beatifically.

Obi immediately bowed her head and enthusiastically pressed her lips once more to the wet nipple. Mari moved and took Kumiko's other nipple into her own mouth.

And Kumiko moaned lewdly, lost in euphoria as Naruto's maids suckled adoringly at her teat.

* * *

Tsunade stared blankly at the Godaime Kazekage and her two sisters. The jonin who had accompanied this trio to Konoha had been dismissed, leaving her and Gaara to talk more or less in private.

...Along with the redhead's sisters.

All three of the Suna kunoichi were dressed surprisingly finely, and were rather suspiciously made up. In particular, each of them was clearly doing everything they could with their clothes to draw attention to, and _emphasize_, their goodly busts.

Not that these tits were anything impressive to someone like _Tsunade_.

The Fifth Hokage continued to eye the trio expressionlessly for several long seconds. It was completely silent, quite awkwardly so.

Finally, Tsunade shook her head and sighed. She raised her hands to massage her temples, as though attempting to alleviate a crushing migraine.

"Let me see if I have this right," said the military leader of the Hidden Leaf it a tone of something like exasperation. "You, Gaara, the Fifth Kazekage of the Hidden Sand, have been arguing with your sisters about which of you three has the biggest breasts?"

Gaara, Temari, and Kanakuro all nodded silently.

"Okay," Tsunade continued. "So you're bickering about your bust sizes, and so you decided to lie about coming over here on a diplomatic mission, requisition some of my very _best_ jonin to act as your bodyguards on the way over here, all so you can go see Naruto and have _him_ judge your breasts and decide who has the bigger ones?"

They all nodded, again.

Tsunade face cracked up in a wry grin. "Ah, fair enough," she said. "He _would_ be the best person to ask..."

Her eyes twinkled lustily, and she licked her full, luscious lips.

"And it can still be a diplomatic mission," added Gaara. "I mean, he's already hokage in everything but name, isn't he?"

"Eh, mostly..." said Tsunade, a little quietly. She sighed, then, expression becoming a touch weary. "Honestly, if it were up to me I would've handed him the seat forever ago. But the council wants to wait until Naruto's taken his first wife. I guess they wanna encourage him to get cracking on making babies."

Gaara cocked her head to one side. She was frowning slight, thoughtful. "Does Naruto know about this?" she asked. "That he won't become Hokage until after he's gotten married to someone?"

"I _told_ him," Tsunade said with a shrug. "Whether he knows it or not is another matter entirely."

Temari grinned wryly at this. She cast a sidelong glance at Kanakuro. "I know _exactly_ what you mean," said the sandy blonde.

"You are such a bitch, Temari," Kanakuro muttered mutinously. "A complete and total bitch."

"At least _I_ didn't make an anatomically correct Naruto puppet and pretend to have it rape me," replied Temari loftily.

Kanakuro blushed beet red. She immediately went silent.

"Well... If Naruto needs to take a wife before he can be Hokage..." Gaara spoke back up, after a few seconds of contemplative silence on her part. "...then I would be _honored_ to become that wife for him," she said seriously, her eyes smoldering with a quite frightful intensity.

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow at this. Temari and Kanakuro didn't appear to react.

"Are you sure he'll go along with that, though?" the Godaime asked the Kazekage.

Gaara smiled suggestively. "I'm sure he will," she replied. She licked her lips, eyes going half-lidded. She leaned forward seductively onto Tsunade's desk, letting her not inconsiderable breasts and hips speak for themselves. "I've been told that I can be _very_ persuasive," she purred, eyes burning hot with lustful desire.

Tsunade actually blushed at this. Not like a little schoolgirl, perhaps, but it was there, an unmistakable dusting of deep rouge that belied a fair arousal at what Gaara was doing.

"...very well, then," said the Fifth Hokage, smiling lustily as she met Gaara's eyes. "I suppose this is where I wish you luck?"

Kanakuro and Temari laughed. "Luck? Please. We don't _need_ luck," they said confidently.

Tsunade giggled. "I see," she said. "Well, then. Go break a leg~"

The trio nodded, and left in a flicker of _shunshin_.

Tsunade, seeing that they were gone, shook her head and smiled. She leaned back in her chair.

"Poor things," she mused. "The competition is gonna eat those three alive."

She laughed.

* * *

Ino was lewdly moaning as she sucked off Naruko's enormous, throbbing cock. It tasted delicious in her mouth, even if only so much of it at a time could be fit in inside of her before she risked choking to death on this glorious phallus.

Which, admittedly, if she had to choose a way to go would be right up there in the top three, along with a heart attack during sex and old age in her sleep. But she had plenty to live for yet, so she took care with how much of that meat she tackled at any one time.

"That's so good, Ino-chan, Sakura-chan," purred Naruko huskily, her massive breasts heaving and rolling beneath the pinkette's fervent, fascinated attentions.

"They feel so _real_," murmured Sakura with a hint of awe as she fondled and groped Naruko's huge, soft tits.

"Why wouldn't they?" replied Naruko cockily, bringing her free hand up to slyly cup one of the pinkette's small breasts. Her other hand was on the back of Ino's head, fingers threaded greedily through the soft, platinum blonde strands of hair as they steered the Yamanaka's head in giving her the best head she could give. "I know tits better than a gynecologist!" he bragged.

Sakura snorted, smiling as she kissed one of the pig-tailed blonde's tasty, peaking nipples.

"Gynecologists work with the _vagina_," she wryly corrected.

"That too," said Naruko with a carefree laugh. Then she moaned. "Mmm, _yeah_."

She bucked her hips against Ino's lewdly expressive face, and sharply tweaked one of Sakura's cute little nipples.

"That's the stuff. Ooooh, yesssss..." Naruko hissed, feeling Ino lick the most sensitive part of her foreskin at the same time that Sakura, in lustful retaliation, bit down on one of Naruko's nipples. "That's the spot... I'm coming..!"

Her crude, voluptuous frame shook like a gelatin mold in an earthquake, Naruko shuddering powerfully as she came into Ino's mouth. The platinum blonde eagerly swallowed every last drop of Naruko's seed. Then she pulled her head back, and licked her lips.

"Wanna change places, Sakura?" she inquired huskily, giving her best friend a playful swat on that very nice ass of hers. "Or maybe you want to get down to the main attraction."

The pinkette blushed.

"You've... given it to Sasuki, right?" she asked Naruko a little shyly.

"Every way to Sunday~" replied the blonde, cheerfully suggestive.

Sakura smiled. "Then give it to me," she said quietly. "I want to feel that cock of yours... That penis Sasuki is so obsessed with... I want you to fuck me with that same dick you've used on her so many times before!" she declared, redfaced but undeniably _passionate_.

Naruko smirked up at Sakura, who was moving now to straddle her hips. Ino was teasingly licking the sexy jutsu futa's scrotum, wiggling that cute little whore ass of hers for all the world to see and appreciate.

"All you had to do was ask," she told her teammate. Then she placed her hands on Sakura's hips and lined herself up with the girl's soaking, delectable blossom.

"I know," said Sakura softly. Then she lowered her hips.

They joined.

* * *

A/N: Fifteen chapters since I first set up Gaara and her sisters coming to Konoha to see Naruto, and they STILL have yet to meet up with him. Haha, that's kinda just a really distinctive facet of my writing style, I guess. XP

And there's also some more plot that was set up in there.. I'm really wanting to gather up, out of all the ladies in the series, the ones who are really closest with Naruto, have him do his thing with them, and then hold a poll to decide who becomes his first wife. I'm open to (reasonable) suggestions, but right now the ones I'm most DEFINITELY thinking of putting up as options are

Sasuki

Hinata

Gaara

and maybe Sakura, too, if enough people think she should get a chance at that. But if you readers have more suggestions for potential brides, feel free to let me know! :D

And, no, his moms aren't an option for first wife – maybe he can marry them as _later_ wives, but the first should ideally be someone around his own age, y'know? XP

**Updated: **12-18-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	21. Fight for First Place

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_wow, there were lots of votes, it seems_)

* * *

It was amazing, how incredible Naruto's body was. No matter what form he took, his body always managed to be, in some way or other, utterly _gorgeous_ and irresistible.

For instance.

In his default Naruko form, the form of his sexy jutsu, Naruto-cum-Naruko had a figure that would make even Tsunade green with envy. And not just the curves, though these were certainly most generous and lascivious. But, no, every part of Naruko was almost _objectively_ beautiful.

From her smooth, soft skin free of blemishes, shaded a healthy, athletic bronze, to her hair, silky and luscious and sun-kissed gold colored. Her calves and underarms were smooth and shapely, swelling and tapering in just the right places and proportions that we was both gentle and soft, but also hard and strong beneath.

Lean, corded muscle could be made out across her body, if only in the subtle ways that it shaped the softer, more yielding tissues layered atop it. Her thighs, her shoulders, her lean, flat abdomen, were all perfectly enticing, lewdly drawing one's gaze this way or that, perfectly framing and accentuating the most bountiful and sensual parts of her anatomy.

Her posterior was goodly-sized, round and bountiful. The curvature of it, in profile, flowed truly erotically from the small of her back down on to her thighs, flowing like a river into perfectly toned and proportioned legs that seemed to go for miles and miles without end. Her ass was big, but not over-soft.

The buttocks had a distinct, athletically sensuous tone to them, even beneath the not inconsiderable layer of, well, _fat_. The muscles were well cushioned, yes, but they were not in any way atrophied or underdeveloped. Naruko's glutes were as toned and masterfully sculpted as you would expect from someone so strong and proficient in the ninja arts. Beneath the glorious, plump softness, there was a truly shinobic hardness.

Her bosom, meanwhile, was even more generous. Her breasts were large, bordering on cup-sizes that were close to a third of the way through the English alphabet. Yet they still had quite a fair degree perk to them, and while every bit as soft and heavenly as one might imagine, were yet also somewhat pert. Certainly, they could and would bounce like nothing else from just the tiniest, subtlest of motions, yet Naruko moved nonetheless with a sensual, animal _grace_, completely unhindered by her immense endowments.

And a normal person _certainly_ would have been hindered by such bunker-busters. Naruko's cleavage alone could conceal a small arsenal of weaponry, even without the use of sealing. And the way the jiggled and heaved, bouncing and bobbing to and fro as the blonde – slowly at first – began thrusting her hardness into Sakura, only made the sheer size of those tits seem even more ungodly salacious.

But, for all of the various other attractions, the one thing that really, truly drew in attention was the cock. Long and thick, pulsing with veins, bulging and throbbing, it was almost like its own independent entity. And it could certainly seem to act that way at times. Its head was a purplish hue, and glossy with a coating of transparent precum and female ejaculate. It was hard, too. Hard like steel.

It was amazing, though.

Even Sakura, for all her years of prior bluster and stonewalling, could not deny the appeal of the organ. It was strange to their sensibilities, different from everything else they knew, and yet in that _difference_ it was one of the most outright _attractive_ things that womankind could conceive. It filled such a perfect niche in sexuality, seemed almost flawlessly adapted to the sole purpose of going within a woman's insides.

Having it pumping in and out of her pussy was a sensation that the pinkette, while perhaps not necessarily a virgin, could not help but find herself adoring. It just stimulated her in ways she never before knew were possible, filling her out like no fingers ever could.

Certainly, it _hurt_ a little bit, initially, just accommodating that tremendous girth, but still there was even from the start that undercurrent of arousal. However this member may have looked, Sakura could definitely "see" now why so many women went absolutely _wild_ over her teammate's bone. Just feeling it rubbing against the walls of her vagina, stretching her insides out in these strange but pleasurable ways, going _thluck-thluck _in her wet, soaking womanhood as Naruko pumped her ever-present cock gradually faster and harder to and fro inside of the moaning, groaning pinkette.

"Yes..." Sakura gasped, even as Ino crawled up between her and Naruko, putting her mouth eagerly to the golden-blonde's breasts for some licky-lick lick on this sexy man-chick. "Yes...! Oh! NARUTO! Yes! FUck! Fuck! FUCK! SHIT! It feels so good! IT FEELS SO GOOD! AHH! AH! AH!"

Meaty, lascivious hips impacted wetly against Sakura's leaner, slighter pelvis with a quick and powerful rhythm. Ino's tongue swirled suggestively, teasingly, around Naruko's sensitive aereola. Naruko's hands wandered skillfully and generously over Ino and Sakura's sensitive, aroused bodies, pleasuring them here and there with the prowess of a true _injutsu_ master.

Naruko was gladly fucking Sakura, then and there, on the porch of her house, for all the street to see.

They were not alone. Not for long.

"_H-hey!_"

* * *

Inside the house, Kumiko was lying down on her back, panting and sweaty. She was smiling down at Obi and Mari, satisfaction clear on her face.

The elder, more well-endowed sister was drowsily, only half-consciously cupping one of the kyuubi's sizable breasts in her right hand. She squeezed, occasionally, a bit of milk trickling out from the puffy, swollen nipple when she did so. Kumiko appeared to be extremely sensitive there, now, after the extensive nursing these two had done.

Her breasts actually looked visibly swollen, as though they had filled themselves up with milk in response to the eager, lewd suckling of this pair. Kumiko whimpered a little, feeling the passive, languid ministrations her bosom was yet receiving from the sensual sisters.

"Ahhh... you girls are so greedy..." the voluptuous kitsune purred delightedly, weakly. She smiled tiredly but happily down at Obi, in particular, who was still contentedly slurping and sipping at Kumiko's yet lactating teat. One of her breasts was being fondled by her sister's free hand.

The younger girl's scars were now completely gone. The right side of her body now blended in seamlessly with the rest of her form, going from H-type Senju cells to more-or-less normal and natural Uchiha cells.

And Kumiko could tell, yes, that these two were Uchiha. She hadn't sensed it, initially, but somewhere between the fucking and the sucking she had gotten a close enough taste of their flesh, a near enough whiff of their chakra, to identify them as members of that...

Kumiko frowned slightly.

Just for a moment there, however briefly, she had felt such... such _anger_ in her belly, such bitterness and hate. It had been so intense, so potent and crushing. Yet it had vanished as quickly as it had come.

All she had left, now, was a vague, general impression of _distaste_ at the thought of the Uchiha clan. But even that was quickly fading.

And this disquieted her.

She did not share her revelation with the girls. If they had given their names to Naruto as Uchi, then perhaps they were only biologically Uchiha. Even _if_ the two names were strikingly similar.

Shaking her head, Kumiko returned her attention to the girls.

She eyed the expansive, sensuous crevasse of Mari's bosom. She leered kindly, appreciatively at the slender, softly-curving figure of Obi.

"Kumiko-sama..." Mari managed to weakly get out, looking up at the human-shaped bijuu. "That was..."

"Yes, I know..." murmured Kumiko softly in response. "_Perfect_, right?" She smiled slyly.

"Bliss..." moaned Obi weakly, lewdly against Kumiko's teat. "Pure bliss..."

"Yes..." purred Kumiko, shivering a little from Obi's warm breath against her sensitive nipple. "Yes, it was..." She smiled beatifically, lustily down at the pair. "You two will make fine maids for Naruto-dono."

Obi and Mari moaned happily.

* * *

Sasuki Uchiha and Hinata Hyuuga were holding hands and faintly blushing as they scowled, a little jealously, at Sakura and Ino.

"Sasuki-chan?" said Sakura, looking aghast. "This... This isn't what it looks like...!"

Despite saying this, however, the pinkette made no attempt to push Naruko off of her. Though the temporarily gender-muddled blonde, at least for her part, _had _stopped what she was doing to look over at the pair of visual prowess princesses.

"Sasuki~!" squealed Ino cheerfully. "Wanna join the fun?" she asked slyly, wiggling her cute, round, twerkable bum in an attempt to entice the Uchiha.

"_No_," said Sasuki, the words coming out a little more sharply than she intended. She shook her head, brow furrowed. "Or... That is... No, not now. I'm not here for that."

"_We're_ not here for that," added Hinata. "We have something a very important matter to discuss with Naruto-kun."

Her milky, byakugan eyes cast themselves warmly upon the voluptuous, tanned figure of her love's sexy jutsu. Her stern frown turned itself upside down, becoming a loving smile.

"Naruto-kun..." she said softly. "This is about the marriage..."

Ino's eyes lit up. "_Ohmigod!_" she squealed. "Marriage?! You don't mean..." She was smiling gleefully, grinning from ear to ear as she looked from Hinata, to Naruko, to Sasuki, to Sakura, and back to Naruko.

She _beamed_, overcome with the kind of pure, unadulterated GLEE that came only natural to a certain variety of female when confronted with the prospect of a _wedding_.

Sasuki and Hinata both blushed. And Naruko was a little pink, herself.

Sakura turned white as chalk. Her jaw went slack.

"Wh-what about it, Hinata-chan?" Naruko asked her girlfriend.

The Hyuuga heiress glanced sidelong at her friend, rival, and newfound lover, Sasuki. The Uchiha's blush deepened.

"W-well, Hinata isn't the only one who wants to marry you, Naruko..." she said softly. "I... really want to have your babies, too..."

Naruko blinked. She wasn't quite stunned by this, considering how close she and Sasuki were, but it _did_ seem a little curiously timed.

Why now, all of a sudden?

"And Hinata's okay with that?" Naruko wondered. "I mean, if she's gonna be my first, then I'm pretty sure she needs to approve of any other wives personally..."

"I don't need to be your first, Naruto-kun," said Hinata warmly. "Not if it's Sasuki you choose." She pinkened a little more in the cheeks, smiling warmly at the Uchiha.

Naruko looked between these two. She looked a little pale from being put on the spot like this.

She gulped, nervous.

"Um, well, uh..." she stammered anxiously. Her eyes were flitting a little frantically between Hinata and Sasuki. Her form wavered briefly, nerves becoming so frayed and frazzled from being put on the spot like this that her chakra destabilized sufficiently to undo his sexy jutsu transformation. "Ummmm..."

Hinata smiled softly.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun," she said reassuringly. "We don't expect you to reach an answer right away."

"_Good_," came a distinctly low, and husky voice from outside their field of view. Sand blew suddenly through the street.

Startled, Sasuki, Ino, and Sakura spun around in surprise. Naruto, however, with his sensory powers, and Hinata with her byakugan's extremely wide range of perception, simply smiled.

"Yo, Gaara-chan! Temari-chan! Kanakuro-chan!" said the sunny blond brightly. "What brings you three all the way here to Konoha?"

In the street, the three Sand sisters were standing side by side, Temari and Kanakuro flanking the youngest of the trio, Gaara.

"We're here," said Temari.

"To settle an argument," continued Kanakuro.

"But clearly it was fate that brought me here, at this moment," concluded Gaara, turquoise eyes smoldering intensely as she gazed towards Naruto. "Because if there is _anyone_ you should marry and take as your first wife, it is _me_."

Naruto blinked.

"Eh?" he said, an intelligent rebuttal. "Wha?"

He stared blankly at Gaara for several long seconds. Then he stared at Hinata. Then Sasuki.

That was when Sakura spoke up.

"Hey..." said the pinkette, her eyes narrowing, and her tone more than just a little confrontational. "If anyone should be his first wife, it should be ME."

Gaara, Hinata, and Sasuki all immediately placed their attention on the medic. They did not look particularly pleased by this announcement. If anything, the killing intent leaking out from their bodies seemed to give the impression that they _really_did not like the idea of Sakura declaring herself a competitor.

"Why?" said Gaara coolly. "What makes you so qualified?"

Sakura sniffed imperiously. "He liked me _way_ before he liked any of you."

Hinata scowled a little bit at this.

"And you refused every one of his advances," she retorted with almost more venom than most present would have thought her capable. "And violently rebuked him every time he expressed any kind of romantic interest in you. Since when have you thought of him as anything more meaningful than a necessary comrade?"

Sakura winced, recoiling weakly. "Okay, so maybe I was mean to him in the past... but that doesn't mean I don't l-lo..._like_ him. He's... really nice, and handsome..." she said softly, cheeks pink. Her gaze was shyly averted from the others as she continued. "Maybe it just took me until now, to realize what I had... to realize, that I like Naruto as much as he likes me."

The other girls stared at her, eyes half-lidded.

"You just want to sleep with Sasuki-chan, don't you?" said Ino, piping in cheerfully.

Sakura face-faulted. "N-no...!" she exclaimed. "Of course not! I really do lo-lo-_like_Naruto... and if becoming his first wife means getting to have sex with Sasuki-chan, well... that's just a minor benefit..." she said quietly, cheeks pinker than her hair.

She was twiddling her fingers, and not looking any of them in the eye.

"...well, she knows what she wants, at least..." muttered Sasuki, sighing. "But I still say that myself or Hinata would make the best first wives for Naruto. We've both been involved with him longer than anyone else, and we're both from old, noble clans with bloodlines bearing powerful doujutsu. Quite frankly, from a political, and romantic standpoint, we're the best options."

Hinata nodded. "Sasuki-chan is right, of course. We're both two of Naruto's earliest real lovers, and marrying either one of us would certainly increase his prestige even beyond what it is now."

"But you _aren't_ the best options..." came Gaara's voice. She stepped forward meaningfully, double-D breasts bouncing a fair deal with the movement. "Politically, _I_ am the best choice, as the vessel of Shukaku and reigning Kazekage. And besides that, I am best suited to understand the unique difficulties faced by jinchuuriki in this world. None of you would be able to understand Naruto like I would."

Glaring at Gaara, and always having been a little competitive with the redhead ever since their battle in the Chuunin Exams, Sasuki pulled out her and Hinata's ace in the hole.

"Hinata is pregnant with his child."

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

* * *

A/N: ahaha whoa all those votes. I had actually meant setting up a poll in my profile later, when the time comes... but wow, that was a lot of votes just pouring in. XD

Although it does look like Hinata is winning, by at least two votes... And I'm surprised more people haven't voted for Sakura's inclusion... Tsundere can be damned potent, appeal-wise.

But, regardless, it is looking like Hinata will probably win the poll... And maybe less due to numbers, and more just because of a pretty good argument a reviewer over on AFF made.

Although, things may not work out the way you guys expect~!

;)

(shinobic is not a typo – it's a neologism I just made up, as an adjective to describe something as being like or related to "shinobi"; _"__Jack was almost **shinobic** in his skill at hide and seek."_ other possibilities included ninjesque/ninja-esque or kunoichi-ish/kunoichish)

**Updated: **12-21-13

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	22. Breast Holiday Wishes

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

**WARNING: This fanfic depicts activities of an adult nature between characters who would be minors in the real world. The author of this fic does not endorse such things being done by minors in real life, and in fact strongly discourages minors from reading this, and also from participating in any and all such activities until they are at the age of majority/consent as defined in the laws or customs of their state or principality.**

(_ringing in a lewd new year with a lewd new world XP_)

* * *

Immediately, Gaara, Sakura, Ino, Temari, and Kanakuro all whipped their heads around to stare, agape, at Hinata. The Hyuuga heiress smiled softly under their scrutiny, blushing faintly.

"Is... Is that true...?" murmured Sakura, eyes wide as she gazed blankly at Hinata, perhaps trying to find some visible sign of pregnancy.

"Are you really...?" said Ino breathlessly, jaw slack and eyes shining. She was frozen, but energy seemed to be building up in her frame. Quite apart from any news about marriage, this mention of pregnancy alone would have been enough to get her squealing and giggling like an Academy student. As it was, the blonde appeared to be suffering a temporary overload of giddiness.

Hinata nodded.

"I am," she said softly, but also unmistakably proudly. Her posture was erect, and her eyes were bright. There was confidence in her demeanor, an undeniable strength of spirit. "I'm pregnant with Naruto-kun's child."

Naruto scratched the back of his neck, a bright grin on his face.

"Yeah," he said, "Me and Hinata did it this morning. She told me what she wanted, and that was babies."

Temari and Kanakuro traded silent, meaningful glances with their youngest sister. Ino and Sakura also looked at one another, and small, mischievous grins formed on their faces.

Sasuki and Hinata shared a knowing nod between the two of them, and they stepped back from Naruto.

"Well, dear..." said Hinata demurely, "...Naruto-kun..."

"It looks like these girls want their own chance at you..." remarked Sasuki. There was a curious gleam in her eyes, and she was smirking.

"Ah..." said Naruto, sweatdropping at the hungry looks on the faces of the five other girls. "You don't say..."

"Na~ru~toooo~" singsonged Ino and Sakura together. Both were still in the buff, and they leered slyly at the blond's naked form.

"Naruto..." breathed Gaara huskily, eyes smoldering intensely.

Ino, Sakura, Gaara and her sisters all took a step towards the blond jinchuuriki. They were all smiling seductively, invitingly.

Naruto gulped in spite of himself. He could tell what they wanted even without the empathic powers he got from Kumiko. Unbidden, he took a step backwards as the quintet advanced another step towards him.

"Hinata...?" he murmured. "Sasuki...? Don't you two have anything to say about this...?"

The former smiled warmly, beatifically, and the latter simply gave him a cocky smirk.

"I won't stand in their way," said Hinata simply. "I do not fear their competition. They do not have what Sasuki-chan and I have. Not with you."

Sasuki nodded.

"They're no threat to us," she said haughtily. "Whether you knock them up or not, they don't have what it takes to be your first wife."

"Oh?" said Gaara, turning a cool gaze on the Uchiha. "You sound rather certain of this. Do you care to test your theory?"

Lightning seemed to dance between these two pairs of eyes, dueling glances thrusting and parrying against one another. The temperature in front of the Uzumaki house seemed to rise by several degrees.

"I'd like to see you try," said Sasuki. Her arms were crossed beneath her decently modest breasts, pushing them up through her T-shirt.

"So would I," said Ino slyly, giggling pervertedly as she ogled the swell of the redhead's goodly bosom, and the curve of excellent childbearing hips.

Sakura blushed.

"Don't count me out, either..." she muttered softly. "I love Naruto too..." Her cheeks were redder than a tomato, the pinkette's natural tsundere tendencies shorting out with this admission of her feelings.

She took a deep breath, and squared her stance. Emerald eyes gleamed brightly, and she punched a fist into the air in front of her.

"I'll be Naruto's first wife!" she declared boldly. "Like hell I'll let some Sand slut take him from me! I won't lose this fight! Not even to you, Sasuki-chan! Hell no!"

Naruto actually felt the urge to whimper, caught in the middle of this Mexican standoff. But his fear was mostly outweighed by the stiffening of his member, and the heat of arousal burning up in his loins.

_Mostly_ outweighed.

He still turned and bolted down the street. And Gaara, Sakura, Ino, Temari, and Kanakuro all set off after him.

Sasuki turned to look at Hinata, a soft smile on her face.

"Looks like Naruto will be kept busy for a bit," she remarked huskily.

"I hope he doesn't get upset with us," said Hinata, looking contrite over leaving him to the proverbial jackals.

Sasuki laughed. "Don't be silly, Hinata. You know he'll enjoy this as much as they will."

The Hyuuga heiress smiled, nodding softly.

"I suppose you're right, Sasuki-chan," she mused. "We might as well humor them one last time, right?"

"Right," said Sasuki, nodding back. "Let those girls have their fun with Naruto before he chooses. It's only fair to at least give them a chance." She then laughed. "Though it won't be much of one!"

Hinata giggled as well, and she sidled up to Sasuki. She purred a little bit, pressing her decidedly voluptuous frame nonchalantly against the Uchiha.

"Well," she said quietly, whispering huskily into Sasuki's ear. "As long as Naruto-kun is going to be busy with them..."

She nibbled teasingly on the soft earlobe, licking it lightly. Sasuki shivered, moaning a little bit.

"Yeah," she groaned, melting into Hinata's lustful ministrations, "We might as well make our own fun while he's gone..."

Her hands went to the buttons of her shorts.

* * *

Naruto let out a yelp when he felt a tendril of sand wrap around his ankle. He tripped mid-bound, the silicate tentacle yanking him bodily back towards Gaara and her sisters. Ino and Sakura weren't currently anywhere in sight, but Naruto was a little too preoccupied to pay this any mind.

"Naruto-kun..." purred Temari, a lusty gleam in her eyes. She brandished her fan with a seductive flourish, casually and easily slipping down her top to expose her naked, voluptuous chest.

"Don't you want to fuck our cute little sister...?" said Kanakuro with a pout. Her fingertips glowed with the subtle shimmer of chakra strings, and she cleverly maneuvered her shirt open.

"Don't you want to have me as your wife?" Gaara asked, as she tugged Naruto towards her. "To fertilize my womb, and have me bear children at your side?"

Her blouse came off, strategically ripped by loose grains of sand. Considerable breasts, the equal of either of her sisters, bounced beautifully free seconds before Naruto found himself smashed, face-first, into Gaara's chest. Her boobs mashed into the blond's face, drowning him in sweet-scented cleavage.

Naruto had to admit that he was not averse to the ideas the girls were suggesting. Not while he was in this position. His dick was getting hard again.

"I wouldn't mind it," Naruto conceded, his voice muffled by Gaara's lovely lumps. "But I promised Hinata..."

Gaara smiled, feeling Naruto's lips against her sternum, against her breasts. Gesturing her hands, some more sand flew up and pressed into the blond's back, squeezing him into Gaara.

"Words are cheap," said the redhead softly. "You should determine these things with actions."

Pale, toughened fingers reached around the throbbing, rigid shaft of Naruto's manhood. He hissed a little, the feeling of the kunoichi's rough, calloused hands beginning to work up and down his aching member making him shiver and clench.

"Ah... Oh..." Naruto groaned, Gaara's sand-worn hands, while not as soft or smooth as those of some other girls, certainly lent their own unique texture to the working of her fingers squeezing and stroking the velvety, blue-veined length of his cock. "You're good, Gaara-chan..." he grunted. "You've gotten better, since last time... better at this..."

A bead of precum glistened in his penile meatus, his member twitching. It was excited from his fellow jinchuuriki's skillful ministrations. Naruto was gasping and moaning.

Gaara smiled, cupping the blond's balls.

"I've been practicing," was her only response, as she continued to jerk Naruto off, seducing him with sex. Which was maybe a little redundant, but damned if it wasn't effective.

And her sisters were also looking interested, appearing to greatly appreciate the sight of Gaara deftly stroking and fondling the gorgeous blond's enormous cock. Temari and Kanakuro smiled, watching Gaara rub the purple, knobbed head of Naruto's dick between her thumb and forefinger.

They observed attentively as the redhead traced her fingertips delicately along the throbbing blue veins which ran up and down the Uzumaki's shaft. They took extensive mental notes as their baby sister lewdly massaged the kyuubi vessel's robust testicles, making him shiver and groan.

Gaara's two older sisters licked their lips, eyes gleaming. Their breasts were heaving, nipples erect and stiff.

Temari slipped easily out of her skirt, lithe and graceful in the action. She moved with all the beauty and subtle menace of a jungle cat on the prowl. Strutting her stuff like a gravure model on parade, she approached Naruto and Gaara.

Not to be outdone by her big sis, Kanakuro walked forward also, swaying her hips sensually. Once more employing chakra threads, she slowly and teasingly peeled the rest of her clothes off of her body.

Naruto saw them approaching, and the way their delectable, voluptuous nude figures bobbed and swayed with every step got him somehow even harder than he had been. He grinned appreciatively at Temari and Kanakuro, raking discerning blue eyes up and down their bodacious bodies.

"Niiiice," he purred, grinning foxily at the pair. Then he shuddered, feeling Gaara playfully twist his dick ever so slightly. "Oh, fuck," he groaned. "Fuck, yeah... Yeah, that's good... Oh yeah. Just like that, baby. Yeah, you know what I like... Unf..."

Gaara smiled, delighting in all the ways she could play with Naruto's manhood, and all the ways she could make him squirm in doing so.

But Naruto's eyes were still assessing the redhead's sisters.

Kanakuro smirked, dropping down next to the pair of jinchuuriki.

"Like what you see?" she asked slyly, taking her breasts in hand as best she could and squeezing them together. She chuckled quietly when she saw Naruto's eyes dip hungrily into her emphasized cleavage, eyes twinkling.

"I bet he does," said Temari, dropping down on the other side of Naruto and Gaara. She smirked, seeing his eyes now flit over to her, and she gave her own tits a delightful smack. The blond's eyes widened at the sight of this, and the way Temari's bosoms rippled and quaked from the force of this lewd blow. "Mine especially," she added a second later, her own eyes gleaming delightedly at the way she held Naruto's attention. "My rack's the best."

Kanakuro glowered at the sandy blonde, and huffing irritably.

"Like hell it is, you flat-chested slut!" she snapped. "Your tits couldn't hold a candle to mine."

Temari narrowed her eyes, and she smiled dangerously at Kanakuro.

"_Ohhhh?_" she said lowly. "Those mosquito bites? I'm sorry, I didn't realize those counted as breasts. No wonder you're too insecure to show any cleavage."

Kanakuro ground her teeth, glaring impotently at her elder sister.

"I don't need some skanky V-neck just to get people's attention!" she retorted hotly, cupping her breasts and pushing them up even higher. "These babies speak for themselves."

Lightning danced dangerously between their eyes, each one glaring icily at the other.

Naruto sweatdropped, feeling a little awkward caught between these arguing sisters. Although that didn't stop him from coming all over Gaara's hand, coating her nicely calloused fingers with clinging, ropy strands of his thick, pungent seed.

"My girls put yours to shame any day of the week," Temari replied confidently.

"At least I _have_ shame, you deer-licking whore," spat Kanakuro.

Temari's eyes flashed.

"Doll-fucking bitch," she hissed back. "When was the last time you did it with a real person?"

Kanakuro seethed.

"Pigtailed slut," she rejoined. "At least I'm not giving it out to every half-way pretty girl I see."

Temari snarled.

"You _cunt_," she growled. "I am NOT!"

"Mmm... but you kind of are, though..." interjected Gaara, humming pleasantly as she slowly licked Naruto's strong-tasting ejaculate off of her fingers.

Temari's face flushed vibrant, angry scarlet.

"Just because _you two_ don't have a real sex life..." she muttered.

Naruto smiled. "I don't think you're a slut, Temari-chan," he said warmly. "You're just enjoying life the way you want to."

Temari's blush deepened, but this time she was smiling. Kanakuro pouted, though.

"I still have better tits," she muttered petulantly.

Temari snorted, though the giddy, weightless feeling did not entirely depart from her chest.

"Bullshit," she said. "Mine are bigger."

Gaara laughed at her two older sisters.

"You two are delusional," she said. "My breasts are the best, and the biggest."

Naruto blinked, realizing that this argument had gone all at once from a two-way to a three-way.

And not the sexy kind of three-way, either.

Gaara, Temari, and Kanakuro gathered in a circle, angrily mashing their three sets of heavenly breasts all together as they bickered lowly and peevishly.

...okay, maybe it was still pretty sexy. But the bad vibes were really harshing his hard on.

"Come on, you girls..." he said. "There's no reason to argue. Does it really matter who has the biggest boobs? You all look perfectly fine to me." He winked, making a clicking noise with his tongue and pointing playfully at their generous assets.

"Of course it matters!" all three replied in unison, their words hot and forceful like Naruto himself getting down with his Kumo concubines.

The blonde laughed weakly, sheepishly, seeing how passionate the trio of sisters appeared to be on this matter. "I... see..." he said quietly, actually not seeing at all. Each of them looked equally sexy to him, and he had no idea why something like breast size should even matter.

But the sand sisters obviously weren't going to be getting over this little tiff by themselves, so he figured he might as well try to play peace-maker.

"Well," he said, "If it really matters that much to you girls, I suppose I could always judge them myself..."

Temari, Kanakuro, and Gaara all shared a silent, knowing glance that went unnoticed by Naruto.

"That seems fair," said the pig-tailed wind mistress, now smiling quite personably.

"Naruto knows tits better than anyone!" agreed the pretty puppeteer, beaming.

"He will make the perfect judge," added Gaara, eyes gleaming sultrily.

"Well, shucks..." said the blond himself, blushing sheepishly under this unorthodox praise. "I guess I'll do my best..."

Gaara smiled, and went back to Naruto.

"And I think I know the perfect way for you to judge our attributes..." she purred huskily.

Taking her considerable breasts in hand, the redheaded sand-user sandwiched Naruto's erection comfortably, sensually between her two lovely tits. Lasciviously, she squeezed the mounds together, putting the most wonderful kind of pressure on her love's penis. Then she began rubbing them up and down Naruto's shaft, and bent her head forward to kiss and lick the tip.

Naruto was in heaven as Gaara gave him the most wonderful titfuck, paizuri-ing him right up to the brink of ecstasy in a matter of moments.

He had a feeling this would be one _helluva_ contest.

* * *

A/N: Who even remembers that "plot" point from way back in chapter four? XD

This seemed as good a time as any to get around to that. Plus, an excuse for gratuitous paizuri, and more sexy Temari/Kanakuro bickering. (...I'm not the only one who finds that sexy, right?)

And no, I don't know why Naruto initially ran away from the girls, except as an excuse to split up the group. Who knows what Ino and Sakura are doing?

...well, aside from maybe peeping on Sasuki and Hinata... ;P

But, anyways.

HERE'S WISHING YOU ALL A LEWD (or just happy, that works too) NEW YEAR! :DDD

**Updated: **1-1-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	23. Requiescat in Pace

**A Lewd New World**

A _Naruto_ smutbunny

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

My grandma passed away yesterday, confirmed dead at 2:40 pm on Monday January 6, 2014. She went surrounded by her two youngest children, and hearing her eldest talking to her on the phone. She had been in hospice since last Thursday, and her mind had been going over the last few years from Alzheimer's.

She's in a better place now, and I am at terms with her passing. She doesn't have to suffer anymore. She's rejoined all of her friends and family who have gone before her over the years. She was a determined woman, and always taking care of others.

But I'm not writing this because I expect your pity or something. I don't. She had a good life, and she got to see her great granddaughter before she went.

And while I am not overtly aggrieved by her passing, I still think I won't be doing any smut, for a while. It just feels like it would be a little disrespectful to her memory to be writing porn right after she died. You know?

So, thank you all for reading up to this point, but I think this fic, and its sister smut fests, will be put on hold for a bit. For the sake of propriety.

In honor of Mitzi Cadwell, who died a month, to the day, after the birth of my niece Sophia. And two weeks before her own birthday.

Life is just funny like that.

* * *

**Updated: **1-6-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


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